we have been together for five years & suddenly..he just call it quit.saying i shld understand,, wat do i need to understand when i dont even know wats happening.. i know i cannot grieve forever.. after five years.. suddenly my room became empty.. everything is gone.. wats left onli a diamond ring n a broken heart...
2006-09-04 22:21:59 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am so sorry angel. I was in the same situation. My ex fiancé and I were together for 6 years. I found out he was cheating on me after about 5 years but silly me I took him back cause everyone deserves a second chance. Things between us were going so well. I was telling everyone that the past few months were actually going better than our 5 years ever did. And about 2 months ago he pitched up at my place and told me he doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore, please understand. I was like WTF - what is there to understand??? He said and did things that showed no sign whatsoever that he was unhappy. Which in turn then made him a liar! I hated him.
Just as fast as I fell inlove with him I grew anger and hatred for the man I was going to marry and make the father of my children one day. I was angry at the world. I was angry at my friends, my family and most of all myself! I just wanted to dig a deep deep deep hole for myself and climb into it and never ever climb out again!
I was so used to having company, I felt so alone and incomplete! We were living together and now I had to start my life all over again. I was on his medical aid, my cellphone account was on his name and the list goes on. It was only then that I realised how dependant I was on him. I was thrown on the deepend and had to find a way back to shore!
I am back on shore now and actually couldn't be happier. We are still very good friends now.
Things do get better, that I can promise you. I am not saying it is going to be a very easy journey because trust me angel, it is not going to be. Surround yourself with friends but also allow yourself to grieve! You have to cry and get it out. If you don't and just keep it in and allow it to build it manifests itself into something else.
I wish you the best of luck and if you ever need someone to talk to I am here on Yahoo angel. Just send me a message.
2006-09-04 22:45:07 · answer #1 · answered by pink_lee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth of the matter is, there is no magic cure that will take away the pain right away. Time is the only thing that will because in some ways it's like losing a loved one thru death. U go thru the grieving stages. U will feel numb, then feel anger, then deep depression or sorrow, guilt and finally as time passes, u will come to accept it and that's when u will start to feel hopeful again. How long the grieving process takes will depend on the person as everyone is different. Sometimes it takes months, sometimes a couple years but one thing is for sure...u will get over it eventually.
Don't deny how u feel. And don't rush yourself. Cry if u need to. Just stay true to the way u feel because no matter what u try to do to get your mind off him, the thoughts will keep coming back again and again until it doesn't hurt anymore because right now, everywhere u look, everything that u do, everywhere u go, a comment someone
says, a song u hear will remind u of him. There is really nothing u
can do to erase the pain right away. U just have to go thru with it in stages until it gets easier and easier until one day u will wake up and find u are ready to face the world again and live your life.
Visit family and friends. Talk about it if u have to but give yourself space to be alone when needed but just remember...u will get over it. i wish u luck. We've all been there.
2006-09-04 23:00:49 · answer #2 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound confused because you don't know what caused your relationship to fall apart in the first place , I wouldn't be to concerned with that right now , He needed to move away for what ever reason and if you don't know why he did then it may remain his secret or in time when the scars of this personal wound heal a little and it isn't such a sore point you may want to ask him what caused him to distance himself from you .
It well might be that he is just being greedy and insensitive or perhaps its a long and ongoing fault he has spotted with you two but at any rate , Its time for you to put all his old baggage on the shelf , and pick up your life bit by bit , starting with relatives and friends and then you can start looking for the special person that can fill the void left behind . So Sad You say you feel bad because your room is empty its not that, its that you gave your self to this guy mind body and spirit he accepted your gift filled all three places with himself and now he is gone and your heatr is left empty and all you have is the hurt he left you its normal and it is painful as all hell.to lose the most intimate person in your life ,Christ you grieve and cry and shut your self off and then when your all cried out and ready in your own time. you think the one thing that is true you don't deserve this pain YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS
2006-09-04 23:02:05 · answer #3 · answered by slick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The pain of the wound will go away with time. The best you could ever do was be yourself with him. It will be easier to deal with if you can accept things you have no control over, which is the way he feels now. Respect that and all the memories you had with him and move on. If it was meant to be he will come back. If not, it was his loss. As they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Talk it over with some close friends and let the tears flow. Just remember, you are never alone with so many great people in this world like you and me around. Let time heal the wound, it always hurts worse at the beginning.
2006-09-04 22:30:36 · answer #4 · answered by MidnightSky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just want to say Im sorry but youre an awesome person youll make it through this. Ive been there and believe me it will be hard. Theres just so much history and memories together but now its time for you. Time to find out who you are and what you can do alone. You need to keep yourself busy. Get a new hobby, hang out with your friends more, but also enjoy the time youre gonna have alone. I read "Its Called A Breakup Cause Its Broken," its a really great book and it helps you get through it. It gives you tips and time to move on. Time heals all wounds dont expect it to go away quickly.
If you need someone to talk to dont hesitate to email me. I know you dont know me but Im willing to listen.
Take care of yourself sweetie. Its your time to shine.
2006-09-04 22:29:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's going to take you some time. Don't spend a lot of time sitting around wondering about it. Keep yourself busy in a healthy way. Work, School, Friends, Movies etc. Read books, watch T.V., oh and get a Journal, and Write, Write, Write every day... Write whatever it is you're feeling. You're going to feel pain, but Time is your Best Friend. After a while your feelings will change. Be good to yourself in anyway that you can. And give yourself a lot of time to feel bad, and cry etc. You're going to feel a lot, and that's ok. But don't dwell on it. You don't need to be ok right away... Just fake it for a while. But really be good to yourself.
2006-09-04 22:30:30 · answer #6 · answered by Corandero 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just Move On
Be Positive
2006-09-04 22:23:18 · answer #7 · answered by Singapore_Lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey sad me.. don't be sad.. really I passed a similar situation last year .. We were live toghether since 7 years but I knew that something was not going well between us.. on my side.. I try to explain you.. I was in love with him very much and still today I have strong feelings for him.. but we didn't agree about a lot of points of view about life, love, family, sex and so on... So after one year of deep sadness trying to find a middle point but alway WITHOUT TALKING WITH HIM about feelings.. till one day I went home and I said : PLEASE WALK OUT THE DOOR... I LOVE YOU BUT IT DOESN'T WORK.. SORRY.. I'M NOT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR U.
After a couple of months he left .. my home was empty, and my life too... and it was so hard to start again.. I had no friends.. , no family, no-one except my daughter.. And if I have to tell u why we broke up.. well I really don't know.. but I know that he's happy now and he's my best friend now.. and he's giving me much more now than when we were toghether... and I'm doing very well on myself..
I'm just telling you that u can do it.. and trying to give you a kind of sense to his behavior.. Our worst mistake : DON'T TALK... NO COMUNICATION.. maybe it is the same thing for u..
BE BRAVE girl... LIFE IS BEGINNING AGAIN and may be a better life.. ONE CLOSED DOOR means ONE BIGGER ONE IS OPENING.. Good luck..
2006-09-04 22:38:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trade the diamond ring in for a 'divorced now Im available" ring. Something pretty to perk up your spirits and close that chapter some. It takes time to get over the 'relationship' not the louse that left you! Cheer up and look up...the sky has a different painting everyday. Life moves forward and so should you. :D:D
2006-09-04 22:28:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would be very tough..but first u have to remember that time will heal everything...u can't just forget him, so don't even try too hard. cry ur heart out if u need to...then get ur room renovated n make it new, get a new set of friends, new clothes, new hobbies, take a holiday that's long pending n full of excitement...basically gather enough stuff to collect new memories & replace old ones slowly n surely !!!
2006-09-04 22:30:06 · answer #10 · answered by Nisha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋