I was in what seemed to me a loveless relationship for 25yrs. And I say relationship because we've never married. But we had 4 kids during that time, 2 are already grown, 1 is about to graduate high school next year and the last is 12yrs. old. For the past 20yrs. he hasn't treated me like the woman he fell in love with. He doesn't hug me, he doesn't kiss me unless I kiss or hug him first, he doesn't hold my hand or nothing. He won't even tell me he loves me unless I say it first. We don't even talk to each other. The only time he tries to talk to me is when he wants me to do something for him, and thats all the time. And at first I didn't mind doing things for him because I loved him and I know God wanted me to do those things for him because he was my man. But he treats me like I was his personal servant. So much that our kids started treating me the same way. To the point where I started feeling depressed and all used up. So I took off, moved across the country and left everybody.
2006-09-04 20:23:29 · 13 answers · asked by sweetcaliluvr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Atleast your children are grown up. spend another week for some fresh air and go back! never run away from our problems. when u go back, iron things out, if doesnt want to, u can leave forever! as for the children, let them know how u feel, u cant afford to be enemies with them coz they will feel u dont love them.
clear up the mess and start a new life. u can do it! God gave women an inner strength a man cannot conqure! You now got your freedom, enjoy it and forget the past hurts and troubles. start afresh.
I LOVE YOU...(though i dont know you but something in the question says u are a wonderful person) JESUS LOVES YOU SO MUCH.
2006-09-04 20:40:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello sweetcalilvr (hope i spell that right),
Well, how do i start.....First of all why didn't both of you get married in the first place. You have 4 children already, you should be married even before you had the first child. You see, when you are married your status change from partner to wife and mother which is a higher level than the latter.
From this point you are liable to have the respect as a wife and mother. For example your mother, i know you respect her right. I understand what you are going through but whatever decision you made after reading my answer i hope you will make a better and logical decision for yourself.
But before you do anything, i would suggest that you go home (your home) go to your parents, be surrounded by family uncles, aunties, cousins because when you are with family you are surrounded with love. I am certain when your feeling are calm and balance you will be able to make the right decision.
Good Luck.
2006-09-05 03:46:26 · answer #2 · answered by Rui 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you didn't do the right thing. You just abandoned two of your children honey. That is never the right thing to do. You could have left the relationship, or went to therapy. Please don't take this the wrong way, but people will only treat you how you allow them to treat you. You allowed this man to walk all over you for 20 years. And he did it to the point where the kids learned by his example. You need to fix this, not run away from it. You still love him, you still have obligations to your children. You need to go back. You may not want to, but you need to. Use this time for some soul searching, find yourself again, and head back home...you'll be glad you did.
2006-09-05 03:40:50 · answer #3 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I could justify u leaving your man, why didn't u take your children? I don't know if what u did was right or wrong because you're the only one who knows that but I hope down the road that u won't come to regret your decision about leaving your children behind. I do wish that u will find someone who will give u the love and respect u deserve.
2006-09-05 03:38:15 · answer #4 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you!!! You deserve better than this. Maybe now he will realize that he's been acting like a fool and see the error of his ways. Just please don't go back because you feel guilty. If you go back, go because you know and have seen the changes he has made. Good luck and just relax, do the things you've always wanted to do. You deserve this.
2006-09-05 03:45:49 · answer #5 · answered by shell7024 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if I was being treated like that I would have told him to leave. I am glad that you left him, but I would have brought the two younger children with me! I hope you find someone who loves and respects you!!!
2006-09-05 03:28:43 · answer #6 · answered by Peachy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There must have be something serious wrong with you. How in heavens name did you last 20 years. You did the right thing. You should have done it long ago though.
Good luck.
2006-09-05 03:43:31 · answer #7 · answered by robsnor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about your kids , you don't see them also ?
I don't think you are young , who will take care of you ?
After all this time together you are asking him for love ? couldn't you feel that 24 years ago ?
I hope you all the best but I advice you to think again.
2006-09-05 05:10:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good to have a break.. n perhaps he will know that he cant do w/o u! Spend the time to seek God.. ask Him to lead u e way.. Seek 1st the kingdom n His righteousness n All things shall be added to u! :)
2006-09-05 03:27:38 · answer #9 · answered by chyi 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think u have lived enough for others,its time to live for urself
we woman dun have too many 25years in our life
go for a new start,all the best!!!
2006-09-05 03:27:42 · answer #10 · answered by Western 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋