HARD4U57,
WE MET ON THE NET, YOU WERE MISERABLE IN YOUR MARRIAGE, WE FELL IN LOVE, PLANNED TO MOVE AWAY AND START NEW LIVES TOGETHER. WHEN IT CAME TIME TO MOVE AWAY YOU LEFT WITH YOUR WIFE, YOU PICKED NANCY, NOT ME. IT'S BEEN 2 MONTHS SINCE I SAW YOU LAST, YOU KEEP MAKING EXCUSES FOR WHY YOU CAN'T MAKE TIME FOR ME. I HAVE MARRIED MEN FRIENDS THAT MAKE THE EFFORT TO DISCREETLY COMMUNICATE, WE PHONE AND EMAIL SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK, NEVER A PROBLEM. EVERY PERSON IN THE WORLD, MAN, WOMAN AND CHILD FIND WAYS FOR PRIVACY, WE ASSERT OURSELVES OR CONCEAL WHEN WE NEED OR WANT IT. BUT YOU SEEM TO BE THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE. NO ONE'S WIFE IS BY THEIR SIDE 24 / 7. YOU REALLY DO MAKE PRIVATE TIME ALONE BUT YOU USE IT FOR CYBER SEX. WHEN YOU'VE A FEW MINUTES LEFT YOU WRITE ME ONE OR 2 LINES.. THAT'S ALL I GET, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SATISFIED WITH THAT, SETTLE FOR THAT. THAT'S NOT RIGHT. IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULD HAVE MADE TIME FOR ME, I SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO ASK OR INSIST.
WHEN I WAS WITH YOU I WAS THE HIGHEST I'VE EVER BEEN, RIGHT NOW....... I'VE NEVER BEEN THIS LOW. I WAS 'QUEEN FOR A DAY' OR FOR A FEW DAYS ACTUALLY. I FEEL DISCARDED AND LOST. I CAN'T STAND A MINUTE MORE 1000 MILES APART FROM YOU SO I OFFERED TO FLY TO SEE YOU. YOU SAID "IT WOULD BE WASTE OF MY TIME AND MONEY". MY LOVE IS "A WASTE" NOW BUT YOU TELL ME YOU LOVE ME AND TO GIVE YOU TIME. YOU GET MY TIME, I GET EXCUSES. I'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING I CAN FOR YOU, SACRIFICED FOR YOU, SAVED FACE FOR YOU, LIED FOR YOU, KEPT YOUR SECRETS, YOU'VE YET TO DO ANYTHING FOR ME. I GET THE FEELING YOU'RE STRINGING ME ALONG. WITH YOUR HIGH SEX DRIVE IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE YOU START GRATIFYING YOURSELF WITH THE LOCAL FLOOZIES AND BAR HOPPERS, IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY. I'M CONVENIENTLY 1000 MILES AWAY.
I DON'T FEEL LOVED, I DON'T FEEL VALIDATED. YOU SAY WE WILL BE TOGETHER BUT THE TIMETABLE KEEPS CHANGING AND NOW YOU'RE CONCEALING YOUR ADDRESS AND CONTACT INFO. I'VE GIVEN YOU MINE, THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE IN LOVE DO.......TRUST. YOU'RE HIDING THINGS FROM ME, THAT'S DISHONEST.
I'VE ALWAYS CHERISHED AND TREASURED YOU, AND ALWAYS WILL. YOU WILL NEVER FIND ANYONE WHO LOVES YOU MORE THAN I DO. I WAS JUST STARTING TO LOVE YOU AND YOU TOOK YOUR LOVE AWAY, FAR AWAY. I GAVE MY NOTICE TO LANDLORD WHEN YOU SAID WE WERE MOVING AND COULDN'T GET MY LEASE BACK WHEN YOU LEFT WITHOUT ME SO I LOST MY HOME. I'M THE FAMILY FOOL FOR FALLING FOR A MAN ON THE INTERNET AND YOU'LL NEVER KNOW THE DISASTERS THAT OCCURRED DURING MOVING. ALL MY BELONGINGS ARE IN STORAGE, MY LIFE IS IN LIMBO, MY SON CAN'T STAND TO BE AROUND HIS DEPRESSED MOTHER, I HAVE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN. BUT AT LEAST NANCY FEELS LOVED AND IS COMFORTABLE. IF IT WEREN'T FOR DAN AND HIS AMAZING ABILITIES TO COMFORT AND BE IN THE MOMENTS WITH ME I WOULD HAVE HAD A MELTDOWN. THAT'S A TRUE FRIEND, LOVING FRIEND. HE IS LIKE A BROTHER TO ME.
YOU SAY HOW MUCH YOU LOVE ME, THAT WE WILL BE TOGETHER BUT FOR THE LAST 2 MONTHS I'VE CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP EACH NITE.. THAT'S NOT RIGHT. I AVOID GOING OUT IN PUBLIC, SEEING COUPLES MAKES ME TEARY-EYED. I CAN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC, THE LOVE SONGS GET ME TOO EMOTIONAL. SUDDENLY ALL MEN EITHER LOOK LIKE YOU OR REMIND ME OF YOU. IT CAN'T GET ANY MORE AGONIZING FOR ME, SO WITH MY LAST OUNCE OF COURAGE I'M GOING TO REACH OUT FOR / WITH LOVE, TO SOMEONE ANYONE. I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING BEHIND YOUR BACK SO WE MUST PART.
YOU'RE 1000 MILES AWAY.......I CAN'T TOUCH YOU, FEEL YOU, SEE YOU, OR EVER TALK TO YOU. I'VE SLEPT ALONE FOR THE PAST 17 YEARS AND DON'T INTEND TO MUCH LONGER. WE BOTH JUST HAD ANOTHER BIRTHDAY, WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO WASTE. I NEED LOVE, I NEED HUMAN TOUCH, I CRAVE EMBRACE AND INTIMACY. I'VE GOT ALOT OF LOVE TO GIVE AND AN OUNCE OF COURAGE LEFT TO GO IN SEARCH OF LOVE. THERE'S MEN OUT THERE WILLING TO GIVE OF THEIR TIME, ALL I HAVE TO DO IS FIND ONE.
LOVING YOU.
^._.^ PAULA
2006-09-04 20:20:55 · 24 answers · asked by PAULA 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is a beautiful story and a mirror of my own experience.
My heart goes out to you.
2006-09-04 20:30:20 · answer #1 · answered by Nimbus 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Paula, you alredy answered your question. I'll tell you, but first this: Concentrate and think hard instead of walking around dissipated, full of confusing emotions and without control. Human beings are made with more developed emotional ground than animals, don't pervert it. Believe me, the rational mind is the best thing to use in this situation, don't despise it. To help engaging it, practice for a while a litlle restraint to some habits: for example stop watching movies and talk shows, stop listening to love songs, stop overeating, stop masturbating at all and most importantly restrain all your thoughts that hurts. Study something, join some organization with good agenda, make a genuine hobby...
Here is the answer of your own - make the connections:
I DON'T FEEL LOVED, I DON'T FEEL VALIDATED
and soon after that
I'VE ALWAYS CHERISHED AND TREASURED YOU, AND ALWAYS WILL. YOU WILL NEVER FIND ANYONE WHO LOVES YOU MORE THAN I DO
This is not normal. You must accept the fact that your "love" is not love - it's something in your character that would be best described as overdesiring an appreciation. ("If he does not appreciate me, then the people around me will see how great person I am and how much i suffer") This is false reasoning, and this kind of falsifying movie characters is judged (as in sports) as foul play. That's why when you tend to interpret this thing as "love" produces nothing and is impotent.
YOU'RE CONCEALING YOUR ADDRESS AND CONTACT INFO. I'VE GIVEN YOU MINE, THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE IN LOVE DO.......TRUST. YOU'RE HIDING THINGS FROM ME, THAT'S DISHONEST.
You can't love somebody and thinking in the same time that he is dishonest. Then you're the dishonest one, pretending you love him.
I'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING I CAN FOR YOU, SACRIFICED FOR YOU, SAVED FACE FOR YOU, LIED FOR YOU, KEPT YOUR SECRETS, YOU'VE YET TO DO ANYTHING FOR ME.
Again, this is not love. This is not creative, you delete your personality with this. Love is defined through enchancing the personal features, promoting toa better person. The real love is closely connected to creative way of thinking about him and yourself as persons.
WITH YOUR HIGH SEX DRIVE IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE YOU START GRATIFYING YOURSELF WITH THE LOCAL FLOOZIES AND BAR HOPPERS, IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY
You hate him already, you already know that high sex drive means nothing to your true personality (not your desire for overappreciation).
MY SON CAN'T STAND TO BE AROUND HIS DEPRESSED MOTHER
If you see that, DON"T ALLOW IT he is not worth, and do start all over again with real courage.
THERE'S MEN OUT THERE WILLING TO GIVE OF THEIR TIME, ALL I HAVE TO DO IS FIND ONE.
Right. His "stock price" is too high but he is worthless to you. Would you invest all in garbage?
IF IT WEREN'T FOR DAN AND HIS AMAZING ABILITIES TO COMFORT AND BE IN THE MOMENTS WITH ME I WOULD HAVE HAD A MELTDOWN. THAT'S A TRUE FRIEND, LOVING FRIEND. HE IS LIKE A BROTHER TO ME.
Who is Dan? Maybe he does not want to be "like a brother" to you.
WE MET ON THE NET, YOU WERE MISERABLE IN YOUR MARRIAGE, WE FELL IN LOVE, PLANNED TO MOVE AWAY AND START NEW LIVES TOGETHER. WHEN IT CAME TIME TO MOVE AWAY YOU LEFT WITH YOUR WIFE, YOU PICKED NANCY, NOT ME
In that moment it was over. IT'S OVER! Accept it and move on. Act as a mature person. Nobody wants a child for a lover and partner.
2006-09-04 21:20:02 · answer #2 · answered by Wintermute 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Paula,plzzz the caps are blinding me an chasing away the new man you need so bad,to help with your life.Every one needs a helper,that's how a heart grows warm.Get better male friends an try not to pick a heart breaker.You should first get help from success full people that are reliable. Really,you know who they are.This is not a healthy for you.You must move on with support,make new friends now.
2006-09-04 20:29:01 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can i ask you a question..? Did you really think that a married man would have time for you..and about him being honest? What is that? Your not being honest with what your doing? His wife married him with the vows at the alter..and do you really think all people on internet are honest..and besides all that are you in your right mind? Stop feeling sorry for yourself find someone else..and try someone not married without commitment..and you really made this long so i guess it was worth your 5 points..?
2006-09-04 20:30:55 · answer #4 · answered by away right now 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Paula, i hope whoever you wrote this for gets to read it, a long sad story...
I hope u learn from this:MARRIED MEN ARE A NO GO AREA! when u meet them, they ALL say they are having problems at home, but NEVER leave their wives. the fact that they married them means they love them more that "the other women".
I personally dont intertain married men, i hope from now on u wont too. Leave the man alone with his wife, find someone single. thats the price u pay for making him cheat on his wife. For get about that man, he has played enogh games n stop making a fool out of yoself by pleading 4 him!
2006-09-04 20:28:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well thats a bit long but you got it bad for a player thats all he is and i'm not blaming you because it happens to all of us at one time or another! forget about him, if he tries to contact you by phone, ignore it. if he tries to contact you through email delete it before you read it etc. play him at his own game. he will want you more thats all youi have to do. you then have to decide whether you want to be with him or whether you have the strength to shoot him down like he's shot you down so many times. forget him. players are no good you can do better. as for you loosing your house for him settle down again rent a new house and get your things out of storage, get a babysitter and then get out of the house go to a singles bar, meet someone but play hard to get don't give in so easy. your pain will go away trust me, been there done that. good luck hope everythging works out but this guy is a loser who has you jumping through hoops for him. sort your life out for the sake of your kid! x
2006-09-04 20:31:59 · answer #6 · answered by confused 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find a freakin back bone. You have a son to take care of. Quit winning and complaining about some dude on the internet that was probably messing with you anyways and waiting for him to take care of you. You have a son! Focus on taking care of him and making sure he has everything he needs. Quit worry about what this dude thinks of you and worry about what your son thinks of you.
you have codependecy issues. I would seek help from a professional. Learn to love and respect yourself so you don't NEED a man or HAVE TO HAVE a man. Find your balance. Get help.
2006-09-04 20:41:24 · answer #7 · answered by cougardame 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Find another married guy on the net. There's lots of them. You could try thinking about the wife he left behind. Then you will know your better off than someone else. Helps some people.
2006-09-04 20:24:16 · answer #8 · answered by icheeknows 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
wow
alot of anger and disappointment, Paula.
I have to tell you that time heals...but not time alone.
You have to make the effort to heal as well.
Making sound decisions is difficult itself, but you can start by realizing what wouldn't be a sound decision.
A man outside of the commuting area - wouldn't be a great choice to fall in love with....
A married man - wouldn't be a great choice...
I would have to go as far to say...a man on the internet...is not a great choice.
Allow time to heal your heart, go out and meet real people, be active in real life events, and things will get better.
2006-09-04 20:28:14 · answer #9 · answered by Warrior 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seriously you need to move on and get over it .. its a married man - he was never available to you in the first place nor would he be.
Mel
2006-09-04 20:23:34 · answer #10 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋