Why in some parts of black culture, are short light skinned guys considered to be weak and unmanly?

Question

Personal experience: 1)Through out school, black girls usually dated strictly tall, dark, somewhat built black guys. They ignored short light skinned guys like myself.

2)The shorter & more light skinned you were in my schools, the more picked on you got. The bigger darker guys would even tell me I'm not black, I'm a white wanna-be.

3)Black girl I dated in my 20's was in shock one day when I jumped over her tall fense. She said, (her words) "I didn't think little lightskinned guys like you could do that."

4)Same girl admitted that she usually only dated tall built black guys.

5)If you went to jail, your considered jail bait.

6) I had to always fight bigger black guys because of this. I'm thankful I learned how to fight fearlessly against anyone now, but I used to hate fighting.

Even in film & the media, black male hero's with respect are usually very tall, built to some degree, & dark. Rarely is he short & light skinned.

Any thoughts?

By the way, I;m 5'6". Into martial arts, football and basketball. I never felt like I was weaker or unmanly. I'm much older now, in my late 20's, married to a girl from another race. Now I deal with black girls who hate the fact that I'm with someone outside my race.

They don't realize that I'm with her because we connect well together, soul-mate material, has nothing to do with race. And with that said, when I was single black girls wanted nothing to do with me. I dated girls who looked at me, smiled, and seemed interested, race wasn't a factor. And some bigger black guys still try to disrespect for no reason, and get mad when they see I'm confident and won't punk out like most smaller guys.

tina m - I'm cool with it now, those experiences made me pretty strong in many ways. I fear nothing, except bees that is..haha, don't know why. I feel like those experiences has made me incredibly powerful mentally, and physically with expercise and martial arts.

King Midas - i say color is a big part of it because of the racial slurs onther black would always infict on me. Also, in jail, your getting stuck by someone if you want to die like a weakling. Your dead already, why let someone get you the butt piston? Go out like a man.

Leading L - Thats a big and bold statement to say that most women you know wouldn't rule out dating a guy who's 5'6". In my experience, asking a woman what she desires in a man, and then wathcing her actions to see what type of men they choose to date, usually aren't consistant at all. My point is, most women you say won't rule out dating a short guy, most likely do if you look at the type of men they've dated. I'm sure they were all 5'8", 5'9" or above 6 feet.

Thats okay though because once I moved to Houston TX, I met many hispanic women who felt that I was tall, and just the right size, because most of the ones that liked me were originally from central America, or their parents were, and many people over in certain areas and very short, and so I looked great to them.

But in America, most men women want are 5'8" and above. I say this from actual dating experience and hearing women say it themselves.

Answer 1

I am fascinated by this question! I did not know that happened. I do know that extremes in the color scale of Blacks tends to cause trouble. You are either revered and treated like royalty or hated and treated like trash. Now you have added size. Media also plays a role. Not wanting anyone close in color to the media heads, dark skin would be in favor.

My tastes have nothing to do with skin tone. I enjoy height, however. It is a security thing, probably. I absolutely adore a great mind, strong convictions and spirituality! Wow. Now that is a package.

May you find the answers to your question and may you one day publish them or air them through the media to enlighten us all. Good luck.

Answer 2

The images that we commonly see in movies and on magazines of the "ideal man" are of tall muscular men usually dark or with a tan. The same is true for women. The images of beauty are of light skinned women with large breasts maybe even long flowing hair. I think if you were to ask any man would he prefer a flat chested woman over a woman with an average size chest (when both women have the same qualities), there's no question who will win. But that doesn't mean that they won't date you, because most women that I know would not completely rule a guy out soley based on his height. There are some, but not all. You may just have to show other aspects of your personality.

Answer 3

alot of people think the smaller you are the weaker you are. but look at some of the best fighters of all time alot of them are not tall and really built up. alot are on the smaller side and use size to thier advantage. a smaller person can sometimes use the smaller size and come out on top. it is just like why do some women think it is awesome to be as skinny a stoothpick and weigh 85 pounds? i am a white and some people have picked on me cause i have always been a redhead, and always been kinda small. but they came to find out that does not mean i am a weak person. i have had people say that playin football with some friends they could outrun anyone and noone could catch over them well in on day shattered those beliefs. caught a pass over a taller person and out ran him. size and skin color do not make or not make you a man. what makes you a man is how you treat others and how you use your abilities in life.

Answer 4

Funny.

I never got the darker is better in men vibe. It may have to do with the media's depiction of desirable black person,
women were light, men are dark. Look at T.V very closely...
Although the short thing is something that stretches across races.
As for the manly thing, men are men, I never saw a difference in light skin. I always thought light men with light eyes were cute.

Don't take us to seriously, I find we are just strange bunch of people.

Answer 5

it depends on the individual person. You probably got picked on because you were smallerv than other kids which made you a prime target for a bully. In prison it doesn't matter what color your skin is you are getting stuck by someone.

Answer 6

I'm sorry.

I hear this from a LOT of lighter skinned Black men. I really don't know what to say.

It's nothing against the lighter brothers, I just like dark Black men. My grandmother programmed us that way.

Glad to hear that you found someone.

Answer 7

sound to me that you are dating ignorant woman who dont know the difference between cultures.people come in all different shapes and forms no matter what we are.so just be who you are and stop letting people stero-typing you and your culture.ya know the old saying as silly as it may seem.Sticks and stones may break my bones but name will never hurt me.

Answer 8

they probably were jealous of you and thought that u thought u were better than them because u are light skinned.