Didn't go out looking but I met someone. I took her out a couple times (no sex, just kissing). There is this crazy backround. We've been around eachother for years without meeting. She is single and one of the most incredible ppl I've ever met. She is being smart. She said goodbye today. We truly only know eachother a week or so but I feel like I've known her forever and I really felt like she was and is, in my heart. I still love my wife but I wonder.....I have the 2 most beautiful kids in the world and I would live in misery (not that I am miserable) rather than hurt them. I am awake @ 2 in the morning pondering my life and wondering what to do. Oh yeah, she has the same feelings for me.....
2006-09-04 19:29:00 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When you said "I Do" you made a commitment to your wife. You now have kids also from love.
If the marrage was on the rocks with a close ending in sight then i would say go for it.
Because its not, then you are a fool if you risk a loving wife and kids and your happieness for what could turn out to be a 3 or 6 month thing.
2006-09-04 19:33:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Things like this happens all the time. Now it's time for you to weigh the pros against the cons. It's been only a week, so you don't really know how she is in person yet. Things to consider. Since you still love your wife, I think you're only...like all men...bored. Everything is the same and repetitive. This is a common problem.
What I suggest you do is to do something different with your kids and wife. Take them somewhere and try to rekindle the feelings. Bond together with your kids and form a strong feeling of unity with them.
I know it's probably quite hard. It's like you've been eating salad for the longest time and you're looking at a plate of...say, Pork Chop.
It's possible to distance yourself from this woman if you value your family enough. It is POSSIBLE.
But if you wish to pursue this new love, consider the following:-
1. What are the changes you'll have to make to your life if you wish to leave your marraige for this woman?
2. How would this change affect your family, friends, yourself, your kids and your current wife?
3. Are the changes worth it?
4. What happens if you go into the relationship only to find out that you're not a match after all?
5. Is it possible that you're just excited about the prospect of starting a NEW LOVE? A passion that has been lost between you and your wife. New is always fun and remember, it will wear out. What then?
2006-09-04 19:39:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
How on earth can u claim to be happily married yet cheat on your wife at the same time? Apparently if u are happy with your wife, I assume there's nothing missing in your marriage so... why? Have u considered that maybe all these "feelings" are just stemming from the fact that u can't have each other and therefore it seems more enticing to u? I'm just trying to find out where people of your mentality are coming from because here u are saying u love your wife yet cheating on her all in one paragraph.
Are u so bored of being happy with your wife that now u would just choose to destroy it by cheating with someone u hardly even know? I just don't get it. Personally I feel there is NO good reason to cheat on your spouse but in your case, u don't even have a reason at all.
And why would u want to break your wife's heart, who in this case has done nothing but to give u all her love, trust, support, companionship and bore u two children only to find that the man that gave her vows to her, trusted and loved the most has betrayed her?
2006-09-04 19:49:10 · answer #3 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok you have entertained this feeling long enough. Now wake up to the real world and think about what you are giving up. You better hope your wife don't find out or your marriage may be over. Put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel if she had just took a man out and only done a little kissing and that was it? You may think you haven't done anything much but if she knew she would feel like you had already cheated. What if she was entertaining thoughts of being with another man lying in the bed with you at 2:00 am? Don't think because I'm a woman I'm just seeing her side. It works both ways. If you want to keep your children by your side you'll give this woman up!
2006-09-04 19:40:58 · answer #4 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please understand, there are many women that go after happily married men because they want the "package"... but not the commitment. A situation like this can get ugly, embarrassing, and cost you literally everything.
Please do not be so naive to believe you are the first married individual she has ever lead on. You are pretty happy in your marriage. This is rare to hear these days. If your love life is boring at home, spice it up with spontaneity - not an affair. The damage betrayal creates can never be repaired, and if attempted - trust will never be 100%.
Think about this... at yours and her age, there must be a reason she is and has been single for so long.
2006-09-04 19:47:07 · answer #5 · answered by ccarter313 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Needless to say you are a married man with two adoring kids that look up to you. You are not available for a relationship and in addition you are really hurting your wife and two children. Right now its time to work on your marriage, end the relationship with your friend and cut off all ties. Seek counseling ... find away to spice up your marriage and really work on what you do have. Its staring you in the face, a loving wife and two beautiful adoring kids .. do you want to mess up their life, cause emotional disruption? Marriage + children = its not just about you right now.
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-04 19:33:18 · answer #6 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say ponder even longer. You say that you are happily married. If this is 100% true then you wouldn't be thinking about another woman. You need to think about this. Is is worth loosing your family to go after something that is a possibility? My advice is don't jump into the open waters so quick. If you want to know more about this "new" woman then get to know her better...find out some background. Then after much thought and talking with your wife. Then make your decision.
2006-09-04 21:06:14 · answer #7 · answered by Honey Dip 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I knew your wife I would tell her about this stupidity of yours. Next year I will be married for 50 years. We have a wonderful family. 4 kids with children. 16 grandchildren. 6 great grandchildren. That makes 28 including me and my husband. 27 of those people think the sun rises and sets on their dad/grandfather and great grandfather. At 71 he loves life all due to the wonderful family we have nurtured together. You need to run as fast as you can from this woman and don't look back. Only a fool can believe in love in one week. If your wife knew and took your children away from you, I bet you testosterone level would drop mighty damn fast. NOW GO DO THE RIGHT THING!!!!!!!! Love in one week is B.S.!!!!!!!!
2006-09-04 20:03:46 · answer #8 · answered by DeeJay 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't a chick, nor are you a child. It is your responsibility to protect your family and your wife from bullshi t fantasies you have for some piece of as s that wanders into your life. Because that is exactly what is going on but you seem not to have enough experience to know better (or you are lying to yourself to rationalize doing something you know damn well is selfish and wrong).
In case you don't know. If you left your wife for this woman, within a matter of weeks you wouldn't feel much for her. If you screwed her, and your wife found out, she would leave you and your, hers and your childrens' lives will be ruined. If you don't get caught, your marriage will be permanently damaged and you will find yourself failing in your responsibilities as a husband and father with predictable results.
That's the reality of what is going on underneath the fantasy you are engaging in. As a man, it is your responsibility to be able to tell the difference and make wise decisions based on former.
2006-09-04 19:41:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have 2 sides of this. I am a wife ho was cheated on adn stayed. He says exactly what you said, "We didn't have sex, so I didn't cheat." You and he cheated. Cheating: Anything you wouldn't do in front of your wife. Would you kiss her if your wife was standing right there? NO! Cheated. On the other side, my parents got a divorce cuz my mom cheated. My mom doesn't know this but I hate her. I truly hate her for what she did. I actually saw the guy she cheated with a couple of years ago and it all came back. Please as a mother myself don't make your kids hate you. It would kill you. and you know that inside that would be the worst thing in the world to have your kids hate and never say anything.
2006-09-04 19:51:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋