Does this make me a bad person?

Question

I am a compulsive cheater. Does that make me a bad person or is it soem kind of illness?

This question has to do with relationships. I was raped when i was 14 and ever since then i have been unable to stay in one relationship, and i have been cheating on every guy that i have been with.

Answer 1

"bad" person? hmmmm.....I'm not sure that's the proper term but honestly it does show a lack of character, integrity, honesty, commitment and numerous other things within you.
Don't let my saying that get you down on yourself but rather view it as something you want to change about yourself and commit yourself to making that change no matter what it takes.
We all have things about ourselves we don't like and would like to change. It may be anything from having a low self esteem, not being able to trust others...to something like a problem with our speech. I believe if it's causing you problems within yourself or especially in your personal/professional life and is something that can be worked on and fixed then that's the route to take. The first step is just what you've done. Acknowledging there IS a problem, realizing it is there and taking responsibility.
I'm personally not real big on all the "it's an illness" thinking but then I'm no expert in psychology either.
Just by what you've said and even asking that question I would say it is causing problems for you ....even if at this point the problems are ones that are making you feel less of a person or a potentially "bad" person which will lead to low self esteem initially then many many far worse things in your life in the future.
I admire you for realizing it about yourself and having a conscience about it.
I cannot tell you how many I know who are just in complete denial with themselves who are cheaters....emotional/physical or both.
My thoughts are to nip it now. I mean ASAP now! It's something you don't like or seem to want in yourself and is making you question your own self so take care of it. That's your responsibility in life as it is with all of us to take care of our own things that bother us or hinder us.
Find a good couselor in your area or possibly a minister/church counselor. You'd be surprised what all they've been through and heard themselves. Whatever you're able to afford I say go for it and just be upfront, lay it on the table, work on it and change what you don't like about yourself. .....You've obviously taken the first step already. It's now up to you to take the next and finish the job so you're then able to feel "good" about yourself, who you are and get on with your life and be the person you want to be.
We all have struggles of one kind or another. The most important thing is to deal with them rather than shove them under the rug. ......You truly are to be admired for confronting it and realizing this doesn't make you feel like the person you could be. Don't let it ruin your future and prevent you from being the best you can be and having the life you should.

Answer 2

Depends on what you're cheating at....relationships, tests, board games...... if it's relationships, your best answer is to just stay out of them until you feel you've found your soul mate. Maybe you just don't have feelings for these people, and don't care if you are faithful or not. I don't know if you've ever been cheated on, but if you are ever on the revieving end, it's the worst feeling in the world if you have true feelings for the person who cheated on you. I'm sorry, but being a cheater, in my opinion, makes you a bad person.

Answer 3

This is not a cut and dry question. Is your cheating filling some kind of need? Maybe commitment is not something you should be engaging in but rather just short relationships. If you are not leading someone on and telling them you are committed to them - then you are not quote 'bad'.
But if you are leading people on then you need to get inside your own head. What is it you want - the thrill of cheating - or hurting the one you are cheating on?

Answer 4

You need to have a real sit down talk with yourself. What you are doing is making yourself a bad reputation and then what do you do when you are all alone and no one wants to go out with you??? Doesn't make you a bad person, just means you are a person who is not taking the time to think like an adult. Good Luck to You!!

Answer 5

I assuming the people you cheat on were hurt by what you did which makes you a bad person. I cheat too so I'm bad also! Life goes on right?

Answer 6

NO u are not a bad person. But u r suffering from some kind of ailment. Go n see a physcologist n psychiatrist.He will help u to come out of this.

Answer 7

Just make sure you always make it known to the other person that you are involved with..

Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel

Answer 8

women who are sexually assaulted, ad I venture to say especially if they are sexually assaulted during their early teens quite often develop unbalanced behaviour about sex, some become more promiscuous and others become prudish to the extreme. both kinds of behaviour are equally caused by unbalanced feelings and thoughts about themselves as a person and about themselves as a sexual being as well as about sex itself.

Your behaviour is the manifestation of the deep feelings and thoughts you experience. It is not an illness per se however it does require you to get some help from a trained psychologist.

Answer 9

There is nothing wrong with you.You cheat because you want to so don't blame anyone or anything but yourself.

Answer 10

my step dad was like that,, and it is a problem because he cannot live a normal life because women do not trust him so if you are trying to have someone special in your life you are definitely going to have to change or your life is going to be turmoil