how long does it take?

Question

If you are divorced how long does it take to get rid of the strong feelings for the other person,I have a boyfriend that is divorced and his ex still wants him back but she has screwed around on him and yelled so much he said he was not going do go thru that but he is always wanting to go over and help her with yard work and stuff .he is a slut and would do anything to get him back she has even went so far as to force her way on him and he lets her do what ever cause he said that he is not scared of her but he gives in to her and goe over to help out she has even called him badnames and he will not stand up to her .I want to kick her butt , He keeps protecting her , she don't have a car due to getting caught with drugs and she rides her bike over to where he lives just to see if we are there ,she calls all hours of the night. he will not let me turn her in to the police , what should i do . serious replys only

Answer 1

It sounds like she has a lot of issues and is looking for someone she can use to do things for her. She apparently doesn't love him but she does miss having him around so she is using whatever tactics she can think of to get him back because he was probably the only guy she could get who would take her crap.

On the flip side of that, he may have a thing about feeling needed, wanting to help the poor helpless female , and she keeps putting herself in that position for him in order to manipulate him.

You're probably better off to dump this guy until he can figure out what he really wants.
You can hope he grows a backbone and stops thinking that all women are these innocent little damsels who need his knight in shining armor routine. But it's not likely to happen until he sees it for himself. Nothing you can do will change how he feels.

There's no specific time limit on the codependent relationship they have.

And if she "forces" herself on him and he lets her... well... not acceptable. sorry.

Honestly, you need to get out of it before you get hurt.

Answer 2

Sounds like she has some serious problems. And you will have some problems too if he doesn't put a stop to it. But it sounds like he doesn't want to stop it. My boyfriend still sees his ex but only because they have kids together. She lives far enough away that she can't come see us. If he doesn't have any kids with her he needs to stop her. I never ever see my ex. We do have a son but he doesn't care about him. If they do have kids you're going to have to put up with it to some degree. But he needs to set the limits on it.

Answer 3

I experienced something like that ...and you know what I did?
I started to ignored everything and I pretend nothing would hurt me ...and I tried to make him know that I had a busy life and he started to wonder ...he was so busy to be after me that he could not deal with the ex...one day she called and he did not know where I was all day and he was so mad that when he heard her voice he just told her to get lost !!! that was the last time actually they talked to eachother

Answer 4

hi my name is SAKET SAURAV.firstly u should have chat with that girl & request her not to do so & also to avoid drugs.Drugs is a thing which damage the nervous system of person.talk to her when she is normal i.e she hevn't taken drugs that time.threten her that ,if she do the same again then u will go to the cops.After that also if she is not sttoping then u must consult the cops.

Answer 5

He should be a man and not be acting like this. He's using both of you. You shouldn't have to do anything because he should be taking care of the problem. He's not. You deserve better. Get rid of him.

Answer 6

It's called codependency. He probably feels guilty. I would find a therapist for both or all of you.