isn't it just a piece of paper? do you really need to prove your love and devotion to somebody by getting married?
2006-09-04 17:47:41 · 17 answers · asked by yowww kelly clarkson 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A piece of paper...has nothing to do with it. It's obvious you nave no clue what it means at all.
2006-09-04 17:51:11 · answer #1 · answered by xxx 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you're looking at it from a purely technical standpoint, yeah, it's just a paper and you don't "need" it to be in a committed relationship.
However, when two people are truly committed to each other they often want to declare that love publicly in a ceremony. The paper is a binding contract that states you agree to commit to this person for life.
So what difference does the piece of paper make?
It shows that there is a 100% commitment and that they're not going to just bail at the first sign of trouble. People who have the piece of paper are a lot less likely to just run off over a big argument than someone who doesnt because the person who doesnt has absolutely nothing to tie them there. (not that there aren't people who cheat or just casually walk out of marriages)
My point is that it's a lot harder to divorce someone than it is to break up with them. So, if a person doesn't want to get married because they think the piece of paper is just a technicality, it sounds like they always want to have an escape route "just in case" things don't work out. And that doesnt sound like 100% commitment. More like 95%. And the 5% is what you have to watch out for.
As for the divorce rate being what it is today. I can tell you from experience (because I am a divorcee) that it is because people enter marriage too casually these days. I got married because I didnt want to get married but my fiance guilted me into it. Some people get married because it's exciting to be a bride or because as someone said up there, they need someone to help with the bills. People don't take the sanctity of it seriously anymore.
But that experience changed my perspective.
After having been through a marriage and divorce I know I will get married again but this time I will make sure that I take a lot of time to get to know the person before hand and love them enough to work through any problems that come our way. And I won't get that piece of paper ever again until I am 100% sure.
2006-09-05 00:56:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on where you live, and your family, and your religion. You see, in a lot of places, no it doesn't all that much except in a religious sense. But in terms of a legal responisibility to another, then that's where it gets tricky. If you are just shacking up and don't care about who owns what, then it doesn't really matter but if there are going to be children involved, oh boy that's when the sheets start to hit the fan. How open minded is your family? What name would the kids have? Do you have a legal agreement about stuff that is jointly owned? How sure are you that this marriage is going to work? Lots and lots of questions.
2006-09-05 00:52:47 · answer #3 · answered by dreamcatweaver 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It has significant legal implications, which definitely need to be considered. Marriage establishes a next of kin so that in an emergency situation the spouse can act appropriately. There are tax and insurance issues. There is the question of how to take title to a house. The list is really quite long, and you need to think about these matters before making a final decision on how to proceed.
2006-09-05 01:13:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We totally live in a disposible society.....where attitudes towards marriage are so flip. I don't think people realize the seriousness and significance of marriage. And I think most were drunk when they took their vows cause they don't remember saying "for better or worse.....till death do us part".
Maybe we have outgrown the institution of marriage. The divorce rate would suggest that. Maybe we should all live common law and have life partners and just leave when it no longer suits us.
We can't buy a car and keep it until the four year loan is paid....how the heck are we suppose to marry for life? And it floors me how many people marry people that they are totally not compatible with and wonder why they hate them 2 yrs later and want a divorce.
Just my thoughts....
2006-09-05 01:44:35 · answer #5 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why so its easier to give up and walk away from a relationship without trying to make it last.Its called commitment and if theres no piece of paper there is no commitment.Marriage means nothing to people anymore..,It just suprises me that people can shack up and walk out anytime they feel like and not try to work on the marriage.This is what this generation is coming to I guess..,pretty soon we will just all have sex in the streets and see nothing wrong with that either.
2006-09-05 00:53:32 · answer #6 · answered by halfbright 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That piece of paper is one of the most precious pieces of papers the children born of that marriage has for their future. It proves they are legitimate, not bastards, and not born out-of-wedlock! Marriage is not only about the couple, but the procreation that comes of that coupling. Stop thinking about just yourself. Who cares about the marriage? Your mother, especially your father and that maiden aunt who'll cut you out of her will if you don't marry the man you're living with or planning to live with.
If you don't plan on having children, then shack up with the guy and he or you can leave at anytime. No problem, and who cares except your mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, and that maiden aunt who cut you out of her will. Your parents may cut you out also! Don't underestimate the sanctity of marriage!
2006-09-05 01:37:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is suppose to be more than a piece of paper. It is suppose to be a real commitment for the future. Not an easy way out when times get rough.
2006-09-05 00:52:18 · answer #8 · answered by MaryPoppins 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was married one and will never do it again. I will live with a man for a million years before I get married again. I never understood why I needed a paper either. That paper means what? To me it just meant it cost me a lot of money just to get rid of him. If I wasn't married to him it would have been a lot easier to leave. My new man doesn't believe in marriage either.
Some people may feel the need to spend thousands of dollars to get a piece of paper and a few toasters and blenders. Not me!
2006-09-05 00:52:14 · answer #9 · answered by danadeville 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Personally, I think the sanctity of marriage has gone out the window in western society. The paper means less than the ceremony to me and the ceremony less than what two people feel. I have known plenty of marriages to fail and I have known plenty of lifelong couples who were very happy who were never married. The paper is about money, plain & simple. If the ceremony makes you feel good go for it. Celebrate love, family & friends. Just be sure you're getting married for love and aren't too caught up in the comotion.
2006-09-05 00:53:33 · answer #10 · answered by blindedbyred 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
yes it is a piece of paper... the license that is.... and a wedding is the perfect way to prove you love and devotion to someone by putting up with all the crap that it takes to pull off a wedding and taking your vows in front of all your friends and family that will laugh at you if you screw up.... yeah... all in all..... it's worth it.... wouldn't trade it for the world.... got two wonderful kids out of it too..... so at least it proves to everyone that I had sex twice......
2006-09-05 00:52:23 · answer #11 · answered by pro_steering_wheel_holder 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋