I need some ADVICE...Deperately??

Question

Ok, so I think I need some help. Lots of help. I am a 20yr old guy, got to college, very well educated, blah blah blah. Point is from the outside you would think I was completely normal. here is the thing. I have an infatuation with crossdressing or wanting to paint my fingernails. Basically lots of girl things, I want them but dont want to be a girl and I am not gay at all. I have a gf. I have had this infatuation since I was young and it drives me insane, and at times i feel like it could run my life, i have spent hours before looking a pics of guys crossdressed or them having there nails painted. I know it sounds like i need a real doctor and i probobly do, but i dont have the money at all. Basically my problem is liking these feminine things, I dont know if i should feed this and just ... or try an solve it. PLease Help??

SO do I rid myself of this or do I feed it and live with it. What is the best way to go about this? PLease serious advice only?

Answer 1

I think you will be ok, although I don't know how your gf will react to it. I had a friend who found out her boyfriend was borrowing her panties and masturbating while wearing them when she wasn't home. She was freaked out by it at first but was pretty open minded and let him do whatever he wanted and they are still happy today. I don't think a lot of sexual things are a problem as long as it doesn't involve doing something to someone against their will.

Answer 2

You've asked this same question several times. It seems that you know you need to see a doctor, but your money situation pretty much closes that option. So that leaves the following options:

(1) Take all the risks of being an open heterosexual crossdresser. Begin by telling your girlfriend. Then if you have a roommate.. Okay.. People are pretty much going to give you a hard time. They will forget everything else about you, and see you only as a crossdresser. Your friends will be other crossdressers who will encourage you to go further and further. Eventually your life will center around crossdressing. You will probably be depressed and suicidal.

(2) Repress your crossdressing tendencies and live with it. I believe this is what most crossdressers do. For them crossdressing is a very private thing. They don't crossdress very often, and when they do they look more like monsters than women.. But that's okay, they are just happy to feel the soft fabric against their skin. They're not satisfied with their crossdressing but they are able to live normal lives.

I suppose another option would be to total end crossdressing altogether. This would be wonderful. And I suppose it's possible, but its extremely difficult. You would have to control processes within your brain. You need to filter your thoughts. Change the pleasure you get was seeing pictures into disgust. While this is an option, I believe its just a wee bit too hard for most people, especially in their youth. When you get into your 40's this option will be more reasonable.

Answer 3

If you try to suppress these feelings, it will cause frustration,with other problems. See a doctor if you want,but I don't believe there is a cure, unless there is a medical imbalance.
My guess is you feel you are the only one like this well I can tell you that is not the case, you are not alone just in the minority, but we all are in one way or the other. Learn to live with it till you are tired of it, what I mean you will get more comfortable in that life style or decide it is not for you but, Your indecision is causing you to spend great amounts of emotional energy and that can and will affect your life.
I know I have a couple of friends the same way. I accept them and they are fun to be with.

Answer 4

Please recognize this is serious. My father hinted at being a cross dresser starting about 11 years after my parents divorced and after he died (he lived 3,000 miles away) my two brothers and I traveled to his home together to go through and sort his belongings. I was given the job of sorting pictures. I found, a tall person in a pink dress with a black belt photographed from the neck down to high-heeled shoes.
I could have spotted those skinny legs anywhere. One of my brothers has never accepted it and was heinously mad at me for showing him the photo and the other... is just lost with it.
You mentioned that you got into college. Are you attending college? If so, go to your campus health clinic and tell them that you have a personal problem that you'd like to discuss with the school psychologist, this should be covered through your regular tuition.
Consider what I wrote above. My father was a very kind and loving man; he was a war hero, and a civil servant. What he did, he did in private with someone that he trusted immensely, but... that one photo may have forever colored how he is thought of and reflected on by one of his sons.
It's understandable if you can't be honest with other people in regards to this issue, but be honest with yourself, talk to someone you can trust who can let you express your feelings, and get yourself a couple of manicures and pedicure (using clear polish.... I know so many doctors that do that!) and see if the urge subsides at all.
Don't make yourself crazy, but don't hold it in until you end up wearing a lady Godiva wig running up and down the street singing Liza Monneli at the top of your lungs. (Worst-case scenario?)

Answer 5

Help your girlfriend on putting on her nails - start by asking her about her nails and work up to it. Ask her to put some on you (if she doesn't offer to first) and leave it at that for now. But eventually work up to sharing her clothes with her. But seriously, what is the reason for this infactuation? Was it your mother or other female (or male) relative? You need to think about that and explore why the fascination.

Cross dressing and painting your nails won't kill anyone but be a little introspective to find the root cause.

Answer 6

IT seems to me that you have a little too much female hormone in your system, but not enough to make you 'gay'. Doing 'girlie' things in itself is harmless unless it starts to impact on others.
I think you are in a position to overcome these urges, get into more male dominated activities, and don't worry. It's not what you are or how you feel that is the worry, it is what you do about it. Good luck.

Answer 7

definately see a doctor. Try and fill your life with other hobbies ext. It seems to me that sexuallity is like driven and pushed more and more far out as a person extrenches themself further into it. If you have a fetish i think thats pretty normal, we all like different things. Maybe just fight the urge to push it to a lifestyle. At least for a while. If you dont like it as a part of you get rid of it. If you do like it and its you, just do it. Thanks Nike

Answer 8

if you do like to dress up in woman clothes. some people like me don't care as long as you are happy doing it. i really dont know how your girlfriend react to it . but should talk to her about it.
my advice is that make sure said that WHAT IF or WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MALE WOULD CROSSDRESSING. and that it is not you so this way that you will not get into to much trouble.
if she does not like that idea then you should find some help to change. like a consider or to church and talk to some one that know mental fields

Answer 9

It's okay to like 'feminine things' because in reality what is feminine and what is masculine is just made up by society. There is no natural law that says 'pink is for girls and blue is for boys' or that 'women must wear skirts and men must wear pants' it's cultural and gender stereotypes are declining. You are not sick at all!

Answer 10

take it slow.... it wont get over in a day! i think u should try to get rid of it urself or see a doctor. ask ur friends to help u and DONT tell ur gf abt this, it might totally freak her out (it happened to a friend of mine) and that is not a good thing.
hope i helped!!!