My husband constantly plays mind games with me. He never wants to eat dinner with me or spend any time with me. He claims I am cheating on him (I do not) and that I cheated all my life. We sit down to talk and I tell him that I am sad that he doesn't want to spend time with me. But he starts accusing me of all sorts of things. I start to cry and walk away and he says that proves that I want nothing to do with the marriage when I simply want to shed my sorrows in another room. Recently, he started to accuse me of cheating again and during the fight, he tried to prevent me from leaving by not letting me open the garage door to get out. He then called the police and said that I was doing violent things to him. When the police came and heard our stories, they arrested him. I am not sure if I should file for divorce or try to make things work.
2006-09-04 17:30:01 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You folks definitely need counselling to determine if this is a permanent problem or not.
It sounds like there is a trust issue. Divorce should be used in the case that you can't reconcile and live in a safe environment with love.
2006-09-04 17:32:29 · answer #1 · answered by Ottawa Father 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should talk to your husband again to see where the problem lies. If he suspect that you are cheating on him, there must be something that make him think so. Go and find out what it is. Then the problem will be solve. Unless you no longer love this man and do not want to spend the rest of your live with him. Then filing for divorce will be the right thing to do. This is your life, take charge.
2006-09-04 17:57:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's clear that you love him sweetie and you want this to work, but his insecurities are putting a huge damper on things. If they aren't worked out, then can end the marriage. So if you think you can find a way to open the lines of communication to fix the problem, then by all means, stay. If you don't see that happening, things are only going to escalate and get worse. So it may be time to call it quits.
Only you can answer this question sweetie. This is your life, the way you have to live. If you are a strong person who doesn't mind being put down to make someone else feel superior to you, then carry on. If you are of a weaker nature, take a stand for once.
2006-09-04 17:37:40 · answer #3 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think when it is your own problem you have the choice to fix it, but it seems like your husband is the one with the problem and if he does not agree then run to the nearest divorce lawyer because you probably deserve better then this. When men accuse women of cheating it is most likely they are and feel guilty about it so they start mentally thinking that you are having an affair too, its a cycle that will never end. You make it sound like he doesnt love you, thats not a healthy marriage, or one thats worth staying in.
2006-09-04 17:36:40 · answer #4 · answered by curiosity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though he may never have hit you. He has the characteristics of a batterer. Be careful. Filing for divorce will esculate the situation. If you do this, file for a personal protection order right away.
If you have a woman's shelter in your area. I am not suggesting you place yourself there, but I highly suggest you talk to someone there.
You need to take care of yourself. You probally are thinking what he did wasnt that bad. I am telling you that all the signs are there. Yes file for divorce, but get help from a womans domestic violence support group before you do.
Your husband sounds dangerous. I have a husband that is abusive and I thought he wasnt that bad, it is more emotional and verbal abuse. He was physical every once in awhile. I filed for divorce and he changed.
The fighting and accusing me of cheating and belittling went to insane levels. Every hour of every day he terrorized me. He headbutted my cheek bone and I have nerve damage. He has a court date Wednesday. This is his second offence, only because I made light of all the other situations. Please be careful and do not take your husbands actions lightly.
God Bless you.
JUST REMEMBER
YOUR NOT THE ONE WHO BROKE UP THE MARRIAGE
HE DID
WITH EVERY ASSUALT ON YOU
WITH EVERY NAME HE CALLED YOU
WITH EVERY THREAT AND BROKEN PROMISE
HE BROKE THE MARRIAGE
BUT HE DIDNT BREAK YOU
REMEMBER
2006-09-04 17:55:38 · answer #5 · answered by galbee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a man constantly accuses you of cheating maybe he has something to hide.Maybe he is cheating and may feel a little guilty so he accuses you to feel somewhat better.Or,he may want you to leave so he will be free to do as he pleases but to not be so obvious he makes people think that you don't want to save the marriage.From what you have said I say leave.This man seems like he has a problem.
2006-09-04 17:58:26 · answer #6 · answered by Katherine B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They arrested him bc he cannot legally confine you to a house! This guy sounds like a loser - you could do much better. Do a separation at the very least, get some individual counseling for yourself to determine what you will and won't put up with, then make a final decision about divorce.
2006-09-04 20:12:43 · answer #7 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it will only get worse I lived that way for 10 years and got beat all the time for stuff I didn't even do when i left that was the best thing i ever did I'm feel to live my life once again If i was you I'd go ahead and file for divorce becuz if he was arrested he"s going to be really mad and you don't know what he'll do think about you first and any children if you have any
2006-09-04 17:39:11 · answer #8 · answered by spoiled 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like He has either a Jealousy complex or He is cheating on you and this is his way of releasing his guilt, or getting it off his chest without making him the bad guy.
I would seriously suggest seeing a marriage councillor before you make your final decision on divorce, He probably has several "Skeletons in the closet"
Once it is all out in the open then you can make your decision
2006-09-04 17:35:40 · answer #9 · answered by froggy010101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either your husband is going a little wacko or he might be the one cheating. If none of that is true then I would suggest going to marriage councelling and getting to the root of his trust issues.
2006-09-04 17:35:53 · answer #10 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋