and then you got married, should you tell them you cheated?
2006-09-04 16:10:13 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
dudes...i didn't say it was me! Im 15...not gettin gmarried anytime soon!
2006-09-04 16:15:08 · update #1
Why do you want to tell him? To make yourself feel better? Because he will, or might, find out anyway? I think you need to have this clear in your own heart and mind before you proceed.
That said, I think you should tell him. It will hurt. However, if he doesn't know, you cannot help each other construct a relationship that will help you avoid that mistake in the future.
2006-09-04 16:20:26 · answer #1 · answered by Otis F 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I was a big cheater before I got married.
He suspected it. But I always convinced him he was crazy. Why would I be cheating on him. Especially with his friend. Once we got married the cheating stopped. We did get divorced. But not because of the cheating. He couldn't stay out of jail. He neved did figure out why I would drive Dann home all the time.
I just ran into Dann a few months ago. We picked up where we left off 10 years ago. Maybe I should have married him instead!
2006-09-05 00:35:36 · answer #2 · answered by danadeville 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Been there. Done that. I say, keep your mouth shut. It didn't serve any purpose. Still married and happy 33 years later. BTW she did it too. So, I guess we were even. We were apart for about 9 months in different states or I am sure it never would have happened for either of us. And this was back in the "free love" 70's. Anyway, I still say, no need to bring it up and no good would come of it.
2006-09-04 23:20:00 · answer #3 · answered by Jon 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I say that you should have told him before you got married. Since you didn't, it depends how you feel about it. Are you feeling guilty.....if so, you need to tell b/c it will eat away at you if you don't. If you feel that it is water under the bridge and it won't happen again, maybe it's better that you don't confess. Good luck with what you decide.
2006-09-04 23:16:41 · answer #4 · answered by Carlyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly, not if you value your marriage. Men simply aren't are forgiving as women in situations like this. Ask for forgiveness from a higher power and try your best to move on. Honesty is not always the best solution, especially if someone elses feelings will be at stake
2006-09-04 23:12:55 · answer #5 · answered by southern-belle 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Please don't ever tell the husband. . . he will never forget it for the rest of his life, and that issue will always come between the spouses. A guy, whether in his single days or in marriage, can never accept getting cheated. If she tells her husband, they'll never ever be happy again. . and she'll only give her husband the reason that she cannot be trusted, ever.
2006-09-04 23:24:33 · answer #6 · answered by ramona 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What good would come out of that? You must feel guilty. Hopefully you learned your lesson or else you wouldn't have married him- right? I think that is something you should just learn from and move on. I wouldn't recommend cheating on him again.
2006-09-04 23:14:04 · answer #7 · answered by Cortney & Nathan 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say that it would be best to be honest. Because sometimes partners find out on their own and then it makes matters a lot worse. Besides if you are suppose to have an honest relationship then it has to be honest. Best of luck to you.
2006-09-04 23:13:23 · answer #8 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT...SEALED AS IN WELDED SHUT. And yes, I am screaming at you. You are not allowed to dump your guilt on your husband to clear your conscience! You did it, you pay the price and leave it alone..it is passed, cannot be changed, and you will hurt your husband very deeply. Don't be a fool. Why do you insist on screwing up what you have? That is exactly what you will do. Good luck
2006-09-04 23:13:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You shouldn't have cheated in the first place.
However, you should tell him. It's not fair to him that he doesn't know. In the end, you will pay the consequences.
2006-09-04 23:14:40 · answer #10 · answered by TrainerMan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋