ok we spent 2 weeks together and she got caught lying to me 4 times about what happened and I now know she asked him not the other way like I hoped he did ask if it was ok to give her his # and she took it and I tried to get him to fight me but the candy *** called the cops so now what do I do try or not we have 4 kids also I do love her but do not trust her
2006-09-04 15:47:38 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well this is all going to be up to u and how much u will put up with. My question is, why were u trying to fight the guy when it was your wife who gave him the go signal? I know the guy was an a** and all but it takes two to cheat and your wife was more than willing to play her part in it so, take it up with your wife and don't get in trouble with the cops. Personally, I don't think there's any good reason to cheat on your spouse and some of the people here saying..."well that's cuz u ignored her"and even worse, the responders trying to take her side..puhleeeze! If she felt THAT ignored then she should've communicated it to u and attempted to work on the marriage or get a divorce BEFORE getting it on w/ someone else.
For me, no excuse is good enough to cheat because the unhappy spouse has a choice to either work on the marriage or leave.
If u decide to stay then u know that rebuilding that trust again is going to take a loooooong time and if she is not doing her part in helping u regain that trust, it's going to take even longer. So, I would suggest u make your decision (stay or go) and stick with it because non of us responders here can tell u what to do.
2006-09-04 16:02:48 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you try to fight him? He isnt the one who promised you on an alter to be faithful for the rest of your life. She the one you should be pissed at.
Here is the plan, sell 2 of the children into slavery, and keep the other 2. Four kids is just too many. Use the money to buy a sportscar impressive enough to snare a rich hottie with a trust fund. Catch a venereal disease and pass it to your wife with the "goodbye sex" that you are sure to have. Have your new bride hire a nanny to raise your other 2 kids and you can spend all of her money getting drunk and lying around the house.
Or just get out of there.
2006-09-04 15:55:35 · answer #2 · answered by n2bateyou2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the club. If you love her... forgive her. That doesn't mean she gets away scoot-free, however the more important part is how she's goping to act now that you know the "bad side". If she's looking elsewhere, try to find out "Why?" If you can't trust her... and that's normal... then she should be working to reestablish that trust. WARNING!!! Don't let her flip-the-script... meaning she starts playing the victim. (Trust me... she will try... thry always do!" For the kids sack.. keep the issues between the 2 of you. (ie.. no fighting in front of them, or trashing the other when she's not around.) Good luck... I divorced mean, kept my children and the house... Took her 3 years to come correct and take responsibility for her actions... It helped. Now friends at least. Good luck.
2006-09-04 15:56:23 · answer #3 · answered by casual247 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your question is some what confusing but be as it may here are some things to consider:
1How can you truly love someone you do not trust,
2) Why do you want children in an untrustworthy relationship,
3) If you caught your wife in the act of lying the best thing to do is to leave alone
2006-09-04 15:58:28 · answer #4 · answered by sexonsight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about that and sorry you got cheated on. i know its not a good feeling. Be there for your kids you go get them every weekend and go to the courts yourself and file to pay chil support. Be a man dont let her back into your life if shes that easy to mess up. You seserve a goos woman that is going to be there for you and help you with your kids. There cant ever be a relationship without trust and if you try to work it out then you will be always wondering where she is and what shes doing. Let it go its going to hurt but let it go. Im here if you want to talk just email me. Do whats right you only lives once make your life a happy one
2006-09-04 15:56:28 · answer #5 · answered by cupcake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship with no trust isn't a relationship at all.
However, I don't blame you for the lack of trust. If your wife has no respect for her husband, herself (making herself look like a whore by asking guys for their numbers), and her kids then you shouldn't be with her, you should take the kids and explain to them that their mother is a liar who doesn't care about "daddy" anymore.
If you want to save your marriage and build trust, the only thing I could recommend is marriage counseling to help solve some issues the two of you may have.
2006-09-04 16:18:06 · answer #6 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, with love there should be no jealous...but lots of trust and honesty. Forgive her and make up with a kiss. I am sure she will be surprised and she may come around with an honest explanation. If that doesn't work, your plan B is to slowly dump her and find you better filet and prove to her that you have good morals and a magic stick. It's always painful to divorce when you have kids but sometimes we got to do it....life is short.
2006-09-04 16:01:44 · answer #7 · answered by plumber 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hate the cheating thing. You have kids but if you cant trust her you cant be with her simple. It is very hard to trust someone that you know they have cheated. I wish you the best with your decision, I know it is hard but you know what you have to do. Dont make no one tell you to leave your family . That is a choice you have to make, cause you have to deal with it. As far as her trying to get him to fight you, That is bull Sh^t, now she is bugging. What is she looking for attention? That is what I dont agree with. For what ever reason she should never agree on him fighting you, no way. First of all she is wrong and he is too. She has alot of nerve there.
2006-09-04 16:38:36 · answer #8 · answered by Robyn D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should leave her alone,you shoudn't stay in a marriage just because you have kids,if your not happy move along.she probaly doesn't love you or she wouldn't do that.you can't love someone and not trust them,the love turns into hate.you need someone you can trust as well love.you shouldn't have to worry if she is cheating on you,if you love someone you have full trust until they brake it then it's time to move on.you doin't want someone every time they leave the house your wondering if she meeting someone else,that's no mariage or a relatiionship.i wish you the best in life,and hope you find someone else that will do you right.
2006-09-04 16:01:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not want to fight the guy, it is not his fault. The fault lay's with youe wife, she knew she was married, she could of said no, but she didn't. If you caught her lieing now, what about the other times (if there was any other times) you did not cautch her. Once a cheater, always a cheater, good luck.
2006-09-04 15:55:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋