especially when all the guy ever did was give his heart to her.
live his life for her. only to have his heart ripped out and crapped on.
2006-09-04 15:16:08 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with her. This might sound like mumbo jumbo psycho babble crap BUT it is true. She was 'wounded' somewhere along the line of her life. As a child maybe a parent or another person 'wounded' her self esteem. For example, maybe she wasn't told that she was good enough, wasn't pretty enough, didn't have the boys asking her out so she needed to feel that want from someone else because it felt good for someone to pay attention to her (again nothing to do with you) OR maybe she learned how to be disrespectful because her mother was that way to her father - not necessarily cheated or anything but maybe she learned that it was okay to be disrespectful to men at some point along the way. As an adult, she cheated on you because she was 'wounded' in her past, from something that she either learned (a bad behaviour) remember learning a bad behaviour is a wound as well OR from a need to heal a wound like 'ugly duckling/low self esteem but went about it all the wrong way by cheating.
Sometimes there is something missing in the relationships that we have with others, a gap so to speak that needs to be filled that may have absolutely nothing to do with you, you can do everything right but something inside of her is missing and she tried to heal it but did it all the wrong way. Do heed this: You teach people how to treat you. Remember that and keep it in the back of your mind. I have a friend that seems to get cheated on all the time because she lets the men she is with walk all over her. It seems that she purposely seeks out the jerks (sub consciously perhaps). She laughs when they insult her, instead of saying 'Wait a minute that is NOT okay'. So they think that it is okay - you teach people how to treat you.
2006-09-04 15:29:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're not gonna like this, but what was going through your heart? Cheating never happens in a vacuum. There are always signs of disrespect long before the cheating. Can you look back at your relationship and see them now?
There's more to a relationship than just giving your heart. Until marriage, you always need to evaluate if the giving is appropriate. Obviously, in your case, you gave to excess. Learn from your mistakes, and be happy that you found out about this hurtful sl*ut before you got married. Think about that one: then you'd REALLY feel like your heart had been ripped out.
Good luck.
.
2006-09-04 22:26:43 · answer #2 · answered by robabard 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because these types of women and men are so selfish, they don't even care if they break up the life they built with their spouses, just so they can have some type of temporary gratification. Personally, I find it irritating when they say "my wife won't have sex with me or my husband doesn't pay attention to me anymore, ergo-therefore I want to have an affair".and all the other BS they can come up with as if they somehow think those reasons would justify their wanting to have an affair on the one they gave their vows to.
All I'm saying is...if it is THAT bad, why not try working on the marriage or leave. Cheating will never be the solution! I wish they would wise up because they don't realize the hurt they're causing to their spouse and kids when all they can think about are themselves.
2006-09-04 22:36:10 · answer #3 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure the bottom line is they aren't thinking. Just like when men cheat on women, what are they thinking. They're just being selfish and stupid. I'm sorry that you're hurting so much. I went through the same thing. It will get better, but asking yourself all these questions is just going to piss you off even more. It won't make you feel any better.
Good Luck!
2006-09-04 22:26:24 · answer #4 · answered by ******* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you such a poonannie? You dont have the respect of your woman. All your questions have the same theme, 'woe is me, women are evil, etc.etc. Get your @ss out there and get another one. If she is the type to cheat, she isnt the type you want anyway. At least you found out now rather than later. Stop living your life "just for her" and develope your own wants and needs. Nobody likes a cling-on, so be a man for Christs sake. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and go nail a hottie. You'll feel better afterwards, I promise.
2006-09-04 22:41:31 · answer #5 · answered by n2bateyou2000 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I could never answer that because I have never been the cheating kind it's hard now days to find a good man or a good woman I don't think people think at all when they cheat I hope you find the right one good luck
2006-09-04 23:08:59 · answer #6 · answered by blondeqtwitanicebooty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Probably the same thing that is going through lying cheating mens heart when they decide to cheat. Sometimes people don't except unconditional love or fear it. All women aren't liars and cheaters. You'll find someone who appreciates you one day.
2006-09-04 22:19:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you've been hurt. I can't tell you what goes through their heart. I never cheated! Yet, like you I know what it feels like to be betrayed, I feel your pain. Listen, don't ever pay it out on the other woman. Not all men or women are alike. There are many good ones out here.
2006-09-04 22:22:37 · answer #8 · answered by ~Jessica~ 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Apparently the only thing that CAN go through their "cheating, lying hearts" is no remorse.
2006-09-04 22:19:12 · answer #9 · answered by lady_ellie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I cheated because my so called fiance cheated on me first~so maybe it was wrong but I did it to get even~but in your case~WTF is wrong with her? You sound like a sweetie. Good Luck Hun~maybe she's just not the right one for you!
2006-09-04 22:21:23 · answer #10 · answered by diecast_heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋