My ex still calls me to see how I am doing. He tells me he is lonely & misses me, yet he is constantly telling me to move on with my life. He says he still has hope that we will get back together. He is sending mixed signals & I am a nervous wreck. I know he is getting booty calls from his lover. How can I stop making myself crazy?
2006-09-04 15:05:59 · 13 answers · asked by mari 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I filed for divorce because he would not end his sexual relationship with his lover. He constantly tells me I was the one who kicked him out. He gave me no choice. He is & was still having sex with another woman.He pushed me to file.
2006-09-04 15:28:23 · update #1
I would say that he is trying to give you a guilt trip so that he will feel better about what he has done. Meanwhile, he is trying to torture you emotionally by calling. What he actually wants is for you to take him back by begging him to come back but it would be by his terms. He would have the best of two worlds. You can stop making yourself crazy by ignoring his calls. Put a final thought to him such as what he may have picked up with his lover and you don't want that. Keep in your mind that you are doing the right thing and that he is used "goods". Perhaps thinking as such will help you to give him up for good (and his calls). Good luck.
2006-09-04 15:46:32 · answer #1 · answered by Tweek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all who broke up with who. Men that break it off first have a lack of connection it's probably true that they want more than they can have i.e. women, money, sex.... When I divorced my ex went physco never left me alone even stalked me a bit.. he was so tourchered because i didn't wanna be with him.. it took a long time for him to get it, it was actually a phone call from a new boy that made him back off.. actually he's the one that's married now with a baby only 1 year later... WTF Men move on because they need someone all the time, if it cant be you it will be someone don't be so flattered he's lazy, he doesn't want to start over again, it's easier to F* with your head then jump back in the mix... Best way to get over it is to let it go... have Sex with someone else and get down girl its party time put on your hats.....
2006-09-04 15:15:45 · answer #2 · answered by Lillian S. Phx Arizona 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His conscience is guilting him out....and he still cares about you even if he doesnt want the marriage. Do as he says and move on....go out, make yourself busy and stop taking his calls because they are to soothe his guilt NOT to make you feel better. He's no longer your concern and you should not be his either.
When you meet someone new...you will see him for the selfish person he is and be relieved that you have another chance at love. He's already had a head start on recovery...you havent yet....so make it happen and fake enjoyment until it feels natural.
2006-09-04 15:13:22 · answer #3 · answered by Scully 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He hasn't moved on emotionally. Invest in an answering machine or caller ID and don't answer when he calls or return his calls. If he's a nice guy, he'll get the point. If he's a stalker, you'll have proof to get a restraining order. You both need professional help to get over your breakup; but I mean individually, too late for couple's therapy.
2006-09-04 15:14:28 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Raven 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to cut the ties with your ex. He is doing this to keep a certain claim over you, or maybe to ease his guilt of the breakup...( playing mr nice guy).
Dont let him control your future.
Unless there are children involved there is no need for contact really.
Just move on and tell him not call anymore.
You deserve better than that!
2006-09-04 15:11:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't answer the phone! Put an answering machine on, use the Caller ID feature, use Call Blocking -- anything and everything to STOP the calls -- because this is a form of ABUSE!
2006-09-04 15:08:36 · answer #6 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't pay him one bit of attention when he calls.If you must talk to him don't take it serious.It's all him trying to do is not to feel he has been rejected and build his self confidence.If your happy with out him don't let these little simple things get in your way.You have a whole new life so move on with it and don't let him hinder you in the process.A new way to start your new life is to be happy with your own self and build your own self confidence.
Move on don't take what he has to say to heart be strong.
Good luck it will all work out in time have fun be happy!!
2006-09-04 15:20:22 · answer #7 · answered by canuticklemepink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's sending mixed messages cuz he still doesn't know what he wants. Cut all ties from him for a long while, all the craziness in his head will settle down, and he'll know what he wants.
2006-09-04 15:14:55 · answer #8 · answered by hfmgr06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have no idea i wish i could help you. i grt mixed signals from my husband all the time. we are still together, but it is very difficult right now.the best thind i can tell you is find somebody you can talk to. make sure it is a positive person. you don't want someone who is going to bring you down
2006-09-04 15:19:00 · answer #9 · answered by hdj_27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simply put men need to affirm thier masculinity, when a divorce happens they want to move on and prove they are still men,
2006-09-04 15:38:51 · answer #10 · answered by Robert E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋