She has moved back to her hometown, Des Moines, to start anew life. She left because of what happened in the past but admits things are great now. There was no infidelity involved, but I was untreated with bipolar and did some stupid things. To make matters worse I have an aggressive case of prostate cancer.
2006-09-04 14:58:09 · 36 answers · asked by Terry K B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm so sorry to hear that. I am also sorry to see that so many people on here were very rude in their reply to you. First of all, I think that your wife left you at the worst time possible...it's just so uncaring and cold to leave someone when they are having those kind of physical problems. I do understand that the mental problems can be hard to handle...but marriage is supposed to be for better or worse. If you are on meds now, then why is she holding this grudge? Tell her that it isn't too late for counseling, and that couples have moved past harder things than that due to getting help. I'm just sorry she left you at such a bad time and I don't know much about prostate cancer, but I hope your prognosis is a good one, and ignore what the person said about suicide being the only answer....I once wrote an essay titled "Suicide is never the Answer", and I got an A, lol...Good luck to you!
2006-09-04 15:20:26 · answer #1 · answered by ShineOn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bipolar people do do stupid things. Did you abuse her? Did the kids grow up and leave? Did you really get down and talk with her instead of "hollering" back and forth? There is medicines for bipolar disorders.....don't give up on one medicine or one doctor....it can be helped. Prostate cancer? Get all the medical help you can. If you are terminal, get all your affairs in order. Your wife may return after thinking it over. If she doesn't, and after you get your bipolor controlled, give her a call and ask her for another chance....and THEN try harder to get her back and keep her There is an old saying "You can NEVER go back" and that includes hometowns. Everything has changed so much in the 38 years she has been gone...she may willingly return to you. Play it cool and get yourself straighten up. Good luck. Pops
2006-09-04 15:10:25 · answer #2 · answered by Pops 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 4 kids with a guy who has bi polar. He has put me through some very tough things. I am not sure all the stupid things that you did in the past, but you must think that it had to hurt her dearly. I am not sayin you deserve this because you don't but maybe the saying what does around comes around. Please don't take that the wrong way just trying to show you what might be happening. I am sure that she will always love you. I would continue to let her know you are sorry and was wrong for all of that and will do whatever it takes to make it up to her. If she still refuses tehn I guess the reality is she can;t get past the old pain. I am sorry for your pain. I truly wish you the best
2006-09-04 15:06:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd like to say that I am sorry for what I am hearing and would like you to know it's not your fault and you deserve better.
You say you've never cheated on your wife and that you did stupid things due to your biploar disease and prostate cancer and if this is the whole truth, then your wife is a coward.
Marriage vows say "For Better & For Worse" and right now you may be at your worse. She should've stayed by your side like a good wife. The two of you could've gotten marriage counseling, you're going through a lot right now, and for her to leave you like that is deeply pathetic and sad.
I would suggest, if you really think you need her, to call her and suggest marriage counseling. If she disagrees, seek counseling for yourself so you can learn better ways to deal with your "disabilities" as well as coping with the seperation.
2006-09-04 15:48:06 · answer #4 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude the best remedy is to see it as a fresh start. Look at things from a positive point of view. You now can start dating and meeting new people. You can now start doing things or hobbies that you only thought about when you were married. The whole world is open to you. Do things that interest you the most and keep you time pre occupied so that you don't have time to think about the past.
Hey think of yourself lucky! Some married men will kill to be in your shoes. Enjoy you new found freedom mate! Goodluck!
2006-09-04 15:04:07 · answer #5 · answered by HAMIDON K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The pain you are feeling must be horrible, my heart goes out to you. If you are consistently taking your meds and have stabilized, then you can work toward a reconciliation. One of my best friends is bipolar and it is an uphill grind but not impossible. You have to stay on top of it and consciously work on things like your temper and behavior related to outbursts of anger.
There is a book that might help you reach your wife. It is called the 5 languages of Love. It will help you find out how to effectively deal with your wife so that she feels loved by you. Everyone experiences love in one of 5 ways, it may be a combination of 2 or 3.
They are: physical touch, words of encouragement, acts of service, receiving gifts and quality time. This book will help you look at your personal love language and figure out your wife's love language. Once you figure it out, you can start to communicate in her love language.
There are no promises here, but just a suggestion. In the book are many examples of broken relationships that were healed by using this method. The links are to quizzes to help you find your love language. But you really need to read Gary Chapman's book "The Five Love Languages".
It's worth a try, don't give up. May God give you grace and favor with your wife.
2006-09-04 15:16:18 · answer #6 · answered by Tatochka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes love just isn't enough to hold a relationship together no matter how bad you want it. When hurtful things are committed it's hard to get over it no matter the reasons. We all make stupid mistakes but not everyone is able to "forgive."
I feel your pain, but even though times are hard, everything happens for a reason. You just have to try to make the best of each situation. Good luck!
2006-09-04 15:02:06 · answer #7 · answered by noneofyourbizwax 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your actually 23 and your feeling lonely. imagine about the human beings who're obtainable who desire they could commence over at your age. So your female friend left because you both needed seperate lives.Now you both have it and she or he's probable having a time of her existence being unmarried. So are you waiting to get off that settee and commence residing existence. you'll locate an same features in a lady in case you actually commence being obtainable.It gained't come unexpectedly no longer until eventually you get over this heartbreak you dealing with. yet you locate someone basically about like yet more effective.So concentration on you for now. be careful for what you desire for next time.
2016-12-06 10:18:10 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If things are great now then why did she leave. The past should be the past and working things out is what a marriage is about. If you love her try to get her back as long as your bipolar is being treated there should be now reason for her to leave. Try to find out what the real reason for her departure was and talk to her about it.
2006-09-04 15:04:00 · answer #9 · answered by Cris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife of 6 yrs is now turning her back on me because of her new military status and is using it to stand on her own moral soap box and talk down to me and blames me for everything wrong with the world and our relationship. I am still devestated by the news and finding myself alone in the world again, plus my new diagnosis of diabetes. I know I loved her with all my heart because it hurts so much to think about it. My once overflowing love for her has not fermented into a raw sething hatred for her existance. Good luck.
2006-09-04 15:08:03 · answer #10 · answered by zelgadiss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋