This is someone really close to me so I want to help.
2006-09-04 14:57:22 · 8 answers · asked by AmsterF 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He has mentioned how he will quit drinking someday, but he is already 42 and I don't think he can on his own because his whole family (brothers and his mom) drink and I think that he's used to drinking and doing drugs all of the time. How can I help him quit?
2006-09-04 15:01:50 · update #1
the best advice I can give would be to just let them know that it hurts you and that they deserve better than this. I am a recovered alcoholic and drug addict...and a big part of why I stopped was because the people around me were being hurt because of my decisions. If just telling them that it hurts you doesn't seem to do anything, maybe you could look up some treatment centers for them...
but I will warn you that if someone in their position doesn't want help, they won't take it, no matter how much you try!! a person has to want help themselves before anything will change. I also know from experience that when someone is doing these kinds of things it is usually because they are trying to make themselves "feel better" or make the **** "go away." I think that once the issues that make them want to drink and use drugs are resolved, they won't need to do them anymore. Maybe you could suggest talking to someone...if not a therapist, then a close friend...like you. Let them know that you are there if they need you. Just be careful not to let them pull you into their problems...because then you will start to have your own as a result of theirs. as much as you may want to help this person, at some point if the things you are doing arent working, you need to stop. like I said earlier, if a person doesn't want help, they won't take it. you have to take care of yourself first. don't hurt yourself in the process of trying to fix someone else!!
I hope this helps and I hope you are able to help this person!!
good luck my dear!!
2006-09-04 15:17:31 · answer #1 · answered by goddoesnt_makemistakes 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly, you can't help. No matter how bad you may want to, it's really best if you leave it alone. In a situation like this you should let the person do as they do until he/she is ready for help. My ex fiance went through the same thing. When I met him, he was still TRYING to kick heroine. I stuck by him while he went through rehab and everything else..and he went back to drugs..it wasn't until AFTER we broke off the engagement, that he cleaned himself up and is back on track. I guess when we were together, he wasn't ready..and also be careful that this person isn't just using you as a "crutch" to get them through which is basically what I was, I just didn't know it. The person will do anything and say anything they can to keep you by their side while they go through this because once they're in rehab, they can't really have contact from outside for a while, so they keep you close, and then once they're done, they drop you like yesterday's meat...
2006-09-04 22:05:55 · answer #2 · answered by Tasha D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I HAD A FRIEND LIKE THAT, unless they see sense & want help you may as well talk to the wall. my friend had so much she was quite ill SO i found every site i could on the web that informs you of alcohol & drugs & the dangers & made her read everyone, BUT it did seem to have a effect on her, she is now cleaning her act up, i wish you luck,
2006-09-04 22:07:31 · answer #3 · answered by KATIEKAT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They have to WANT to help themselves. If they don't there is little to nothing you can do. Been there done that. I've lost time , money and a lot of sleep for a friend that used me for $$$ to keep her habit going., She did not have custody of her kids because she loved her drugs more than her kids.
2006-09-04 22:02:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU can do NOTHING -- YOU need to walk away -- tell him that you will NO LONGER be a listening board or anything else to him UNTIL he goes to Rehab and DRIES OUT -- and comes clean. THAT is how you can help this individual.
2006-09-04 22:12:03 · answer #5 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GIve them some extra money as its an expensive habit and this would help them more than anything else you could do!
2006-09-04 21:59:50 · answer #6 · answered by kel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't.unless the person wants help.
2006-09-04 22:05:55 · answer #7 · answered by skyler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
XXXXXXXXXXX go with them to the nearest AA meeting
2006-09-04 21:59:39 · answer #8 · answered by asoldierswife 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋