2006-09-04 14:55:51 · 38 answers · asked by sweetie pie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's like asking how you can ram your car into a bridge at 60mph, without scratching the paint. But, assuming you're serious the only hope you have is to be honest. Perhaps he'll forgive you, unless it was a long term affair, unless it was a friend of hubby's, and unless the affair happened mainly to hurt hubby. The chances are better IF it was just a one time thing, rather than long term, but affair implys more than just a drunken mistake. We are free to make choices, but we are never free of the consequences of our choices. Don't be too hopeful about your marriage. At the very least, your relationship will never be the same. Unless of course, you can arrange a lobotomy for hubby.
2006-09-04 15:12:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think carefully. Would telling him do any good?
What do you want? To end the affair and keep your marriage? To have both?
If you end the affair and tell your husband you had one, it would be pointless.
If you want to keep on having the affair and tell your husband, that is just hurtful.
If you want to keep your marriage, hold your tongue until you and hubby are both grey haired. Maybe not even then.
Please do not tell him simply because you are feeling guilty! That is the most harmful reason of all (and why there are confessionals, by the way!)
Don't think too much about it. If the affair is over, it is already in the past and you don't have to dwell on it.
If it is continuing, already your question is out-dated, as things will be happening too fast for us answerers, who wish you well, to keep up!
2006-09-05 07:14:24 · answer #2 · answered by kiteeze 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you must confess it, tell it to your pastor or a therapist. Men are very different about affairs and far less forgiving than a woman might be. It's possible he already knew something was going on anyway and chose to ignore the signs. Telling him will only hurt him, and for no reason other than to try to heal your own guilty conscious. If you are truly done with the affair and truly repentant about what happened, asking God for forgiveness is all you need to do. Everyone sins and no sin is worse than another. It doesn't matter why you did it, you did, and now you're back to your senses. Recall the vows you took with your man, and why you took them in the first place. Work on your marriage with a fresh perspective and never look back.
2006-09-04 15:18:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't. If you tell your husband about an affair you had, he will never look at you the same. Men are able to dish it out but unable to receive it. They are not as strong as women when it comes to things like this. Make ammends with god (or whoever you worship)--ask for forgiveness from a higher power but if you want to keep your marriage, then it wouldn't be in your best interest to spill the beans. Let it go.
2006-09-04 15:48:05 · answer #4 · answered by southern-belle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An affair is something that YOU kept going! Are you truly sorry?? Or are you guilty? There is no one that can keep your marriage EXCEPT your husband! You have to tell him if you truly want things to work. Then things may come together for you both, or not! You not only cheated, you had an Affair. 2 diff. things! If you want your marriage to work {honestly} tell him and do whatever he needs to forgive {not forget, cuz he will never}. ....L.
2006-09-04 15:21:30 · answer #5 · answered by ben and lisa h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should keep silent if you're wanting to keep your marriage... why hurt him over something you did? He's not the one had the affair, you had it.... why punish him?
You made the choice to have the affair, and you should have to live with the fact that you messed up for the rest of your life... but don't tell him... I know if you do tell him, you'll end up doing it again later down the road!
2006-09-04 15:09:40 · answer #6 · answered by someone s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No Way!
In the 1st place, u shouldnt b having an afffair when u thinking of keeping yr marriage! Whatever is done cant b undone...now only 2 choices for u to choose:-
1) Tell yr hubby honeslty but b prepared that he will leave u...n if he does u cant blame him just hv to accept it, learn fr yr mistake n move on
2) Keep yr mouth shut! Do not tell him a single word n pretend anything had happened....but it not easy to "hide" thing specially to the u love....if u manage to do it....make sure u make it up to him n b good fr now on....
2006-09-04 15:02:29 · answer #7 · answered by D@ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't. You made one mistake -- you betrayed your husband and your marriage. (I'm assuming the affair is over, and you wish to stay married to your husband. If not, then this answer is inappropriate to your question.) Don't make a second by blabbing a confession, and expecting him to tell you it's okay. It is not okay. So shut the hell up, and live with it. If you do tell him, your marriage is over. Marriage is a trust of love and commitment. You will irreparably destroy the trust, and he will leave, and rightly so.
2006-09-04 15:05:05 · answer #8 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as the affair is done with. I think if i were in that situation I would want to hear the absolute truth of why you cheated in the first place and also that whatever the reason was that you will work on it and it will never happen again
2006-09-04 14:58:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
An affair no matter how breaks a marriage. Good luck.
2006-09-04 15:02:39 · answer #10 · answered by j t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋