2006-09-04 14:53:25 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sometimes the men threaten the woman's family or children if she leaves, or they control the money and she feels she has no way out, whether it is true or not, he can control her so badly that she feels it is reality.
2006-09-04 14:55:44 · answer #1 · answered by curiositycat 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Having low self esteem is only a part of it. You can be the total "It Girl" and end up in an abusive relationship, doubting every move you make. Abuse rarely starts out physical. It's a gradual process that starts with breaking you down and stealing any sense of self worth you have. Most of the time, it's so subtle, you don't even notice it until you're so far into the relationship you can't see daylight.
You have to remember that most women who are in an abusive relationship have been isolated from everyone and everything they know. They usually have no money or resources to fall back on since most are not allowed to have any type of work or outside life. Many are afraid of getting the worse beating of their life if they're found and many are afraid that the friends or family that attempt to help them will also be harmed. Many people would tell you to get a restraining order but, frankly, it's just apiece of paper that's very easy to walk through and by the time the police are able to respond, if they respond, it's too late.
I completely agree with one of the respondents who said that you can't understand it until you've lived it. Very few women (men too) are fortunate enough to escape the violence. May who do only end up back in a new abusive relationship. Those who escape it completely tho', usually end up very driven people.
2006-09-04 15:55:03 · answer #2 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has nothing to do with low self esteem. I've been through it one too many times and I know I am worth way too much for that. It's the fear of being alone. I know I have men asking me out and complimenting me all the time and I know I am a real cutie. The fact is once you are in an abusive relationship it's hard to trust any one ever again. Why trade a known evil for one that is totally unknown. It is always the fear of the unknown that gets you in the end. Along with not wanting to be alone.
2006-09-04 14:58:20 · answer #3 · answered by Sexy VP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i grew up in a house hold where abuse was regular i guess you could say...my mom stayed for a while i never really realised that it was abusive until my dad decided to take the abuse to the next level and hit me instead of just my mom....it took us a while but my mom got us out of there...
about 7 years later i was having a discussion about this topic with my mom and asked the same question you did, but of her...i said that i don't understand how come they just don't pick up and get out if they know he is like that.....she told me that its not that simple you have to think of the other aspects:
1) she has no qualifications to work so, how will she provide for her kids?
2) she does decide to leave and go work as a check-out -chick for example...how will her kids deal with no having the things that they used to have?
3)she has no house, or money for rent, where will she live?....in a safe house well lets just say you usually have about 4 families living under one roof in a 3 bedroom house because there is such a shortage.
4)how will she buy her kids clothes or school stuff or anything like that is she cant even pay the rent?
those are just a few little aspects to the decision of leaving an abusive husband...
luckily my mother had finished college and was pulling in most of the income in the household, she was the head of nursing in her hospital, my dad was in the navy....
well i know this may not be the exact answer you were looking for but i hope that this helps you understand some aspect of the situation these women may be in.
2006-09-04 15:10:53 · answer #4 · answered by orange_thang90 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most women stay with abusive me because they have low self esteem as you said but many stay with because they are afraid to leave them.
They are afraid that they will hurt them or their children and maybe even kill them. They are also afraid they can't make it on their own and that they will never be able to attract another man.
One last reason that some women stay with abusive men, is that they grew up seeing the same behaviour in their home between their father's and mother's and they don't know any other way, they think that is normal.
So sad, everyone deserves to be happy.
2006-09-04 15:00:14 · answer #5 · answered by nellie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A large factor in women staying in an abusive relationship is financial. The woman does not have a way of leaving...no money of her own, no safe place to go or is afraid to be a burden/ outstay her welcome (especially is she has children), no friends or family support system that is non-judgemental. The largest percentile of women who are killed by their partners are murdered while trying to leave. Leaving is not easy or without real danger but an abusive perrson may kill her if she doesn't leave. Some friends or family may say they will help but get tired of supporting the person and kids after a short period and then the hurt and rejection is enormous for someone who has been emotionally beaten down.
2006-09-04 15:08:44 · answer #6 · answered by Taurus520RI 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's so HARD~ I'm living this hell right now~it's so easy for people to just say 'Leave them", but there is love involved and time spent together and some good times and there is always the hope that things WILL get better.I stayed for almost 4 years~my relationship was not physically abusive but emotionally and verbally~though actually I would have rather been beaten than to have my very soul ripped out by having the one you love most cheat on you and lie constantly. It took a whole lot of HARD work to get to where I am today~55 days of No Contact~I'm seeing things clearer now and realize he was mentally ill and would project his anger onto me and my girls.My girls are in therapy and hopefully we can get through this .I stayed because I thought I could fix him~I was wrong~I am now fixing myself and my girls. Good Luck Hun.God Bless!
2006-09-04 15:16:02 · answer #7 · answered by diecast_heart 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy answer. There are so many reasons why this happens. There is low self, some people think that they deserve it, there may be children or financial reasons involved. I had a really close friend that was involved in an abusive relationship and I can't tell you why she stayed with him for so long. It really is a terrible thing and is something that unfortunately, is really overlooked.
2006-09-04 14:58:01 · answer #8 · answered by Jess B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My theory is that most of them get into this mindset that the abuse is what they know, and that is the fear of anything different than what they know that makes them stay in it, then there is fear if being independent, fear of failing(if they leave they failed him, and then they are afraid of failing on their own), they fear for their children, their family, their friends, their own lives.. and then some I think really deep down somewhere truly love him and keep thinking that he is going to change, so they stay and keep thinking today is the day it's going to be different... but I would say the biggest reason is FEAR... I pray for anyone who is in that type of situation, of physical or emotional abuse... to get out of it and far, far, far, far away from it all, and build their lives to something they can be proud of!!!
2006-09-04 15:04:54 · answer #9 · answered by someone s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, no one really knows exactly why, but some reasons that I have heard are...
1. the sex
2. a strong fear that the abuser will hurt them worse or the people they love
3.no where to go, if they don't have family
4.very low self-esteem and self-worth
5.fear that they won't find another man
That's what I have from some ladies who have experienced violent relationships.
2006-09-04 14:56:56 · answer #10 · answered by MadameJazzy 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My husband is emotionally abusive and the only reason I stay with him is because I feel dependent. I also have a year old daughter and I don't know how I would take care of her by myself. I can't drive either because no one will teach me. There are so many things that make it very difficult expecially when there is no one to help. My family won't help. So I don't know what to do. That's my reason.
2006-09-04 14:56:05 · answer #11 · answered by Carrie! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋