Would you still hate me?

Question

several years ago I was dating a young man. I was only 19 as was he. I was extremely jealous of him and caught him talking to a girl at a ball game. I know very juvenile. I questioned him about the night after and called the girl a bl*** b****. This was very racist. Well his friend overheard me and it happened to be his cousin I was talking about. I said this in a very angry mood and did not mean it. Well he told another girl that I called her and all her othr friends this name so I could reap what I had sewn. 6 years later one of the girls still hates me. I was questioned by other girls and they beleived I did not say it. She does not beleive me. I saw her a year ago. She looked at me as if she wanted to kill me. She was telling the girl next to her something and her mouth dropped open. I'm sure it was the story of me calling her that name. My ex (then my boyfriend) told me not to worry about it. (it's his cousin) He said she just doesn't like white girls. If you

Answer 1

You said it, you meant it. Don't say you didn't mean it, you know that's not true. Also, from what you've said ("I was questioned by other girls and they beleived [sic] I did not say it"), you lied about it afterward.

If you would be honest enough to admit that you said it, explain that you were angry, and apologize, that might make a difference. As it is now, though, no. She's gonna keep hating you until you stand up and take responsibility for your racist comment.

Answer 2

Does it bother you that you are still suffering the consequences of what you had said six years ago or are you just wondering if the girl should have let it go by now? Either way, if you haven't apologized to her already, it might help. I think that owning up to actions, even if they have occurrred several years ago, might help the girl with her feeling negatively toward you ( if she still feels that way). Nobody likes to hear that they're being called names, especially behind his/her back. You might find that she might be more forgiving that you thought. Realize though that some wounds do take longer to heal and it might take her some time to "forgive." And maybe once she does, she may spread the word to her girlfriends and maybe you won't be receiving looks from them.

Answer 3

I wouldn't say that I would still hate you, but it would take an admission of guilt and an apology before I'd ever begin to trust you.
Not only did you get angry at her cousin for speaking to another girl, you verbally attacked him without giving him time to explain. Then you lied to other people about what you did and never apologized.
You're definitley in the wrong in this case.

Answer 4

6 years ago? God no, thats just holding onto hate. Its gonna hurt them a lot more hating you for a dumb old reason like that than it hurts you for having said it in a rage all those years ago. I heard this great analogy: anger is like a coal; you hold onto it until you can throw it at someone you want to hurt, but all the while you're just scarring your hand. They're still scarring, so let them, its not your problem anymore.

Answer 5

of course not!! that they do is completely childish and ridiculous.
obviouslty very inmature girls.
but the fact is that most black women do not like us white girls....especially when we date their men - because no matter how hard they try they cannot compete with is. they will never be white.i would just not mention it anymore and for get about it.. if they bring it up just say... oh, im sorry i dont rememvber that, it was a long time ago.

Answer 6

No it's no reason to still hate you. People say things sometimes that are ignorant and a change can come, or the wrong can be made right! These people who you have mentioned have a unforgiving heart.

Answer 7

words can hurt sometimes. i forgive and forget, especially since it was said out of jelousy, it happens. id probably get the same way. but friends should always be there for you no matter what everyone has rocks in their road and you can overcome them together with a good friend. id forgive you.

Answer 8

Well, I wouldn't like you, I mean, you said it as an act of jealous rage, not as a racist comment. If you apologized and explained, I MIGHT forgive you, if I was her.

Answer 9

Man, who is going to remember that they hate you
there are some girls that HATED me and when i see them in the store they be saying "hi, how are you"

Answer 10

i would confront the girl he was talking to . and ask her to sit with you . then i would please ask her to forgive you for what you said. your words were out of jealousy;and you regret and apologise for them. then you either have a new friend. or problems.