Istead of helping me pay for school or book he bought himself a stupid gun and bullets. He knnows I am totally against it but he went out and got it anyway while I stuggled to get myself school supplies. I don't know what to do. He also tells him mom he has no money so she is always sending him money which he spends on himself instead of helping me out. He has never taken me out on a date and we always do what he wants to do. When I suggest things he always has an excuse...what should I do?? Should I leave him. His selfish ways are driving me crazy. All I want is some appreciation...please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-04 14:05:35 · 33 answers · asked by Katie B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe you should have thought about that before you rushed into moving in together.
2006-09-04 14:07:17 · answer #1 · answered by mightymight 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does he have a job? He sounds like a guy that I use to date. He did not really take me out on dates and when we went to a restaurant once, he ordered beer and chicken wings and was shocked when I wanted to order a meal. He ended up just being a total loser. I think your boyfriend is too. Get out of the relationship. You need to find someone that is more like you and that will treat you well. Living together is not a good thing. You should live at home, in a dorm or some place of your own, so that you can actually be respected and dated properly. Moving in together too quickly is never a good choice.
2006-09-04 14:27:52 · answer #2 · answered by just julie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, he is your boyfriend, and not your husband. While he certainly might seem inconsiderate for not helping you, if/when he knows you're struggling, he certainly isn't obligated to help you financially. OK, this may sound shallow - but seriously... Once the path of financial help is established, there should be less things to argue about in the future, as there is a clear precident established. I'm NOT saying if I were in his shoes I would have done the same thing. And honestly, it sounds as though there are other concerns you have in this relationship as well. I would encourage you to sit down and talk to him about your feelings that he has been selfish. In fact, I also suggest talkin with him about how it made you feel when he bought a gun and bullets - instead of helping you. You can't expect him to KNOW that you wanted his help - if you didn't ask.... You did ask, didn't you? Sometimes we fall into believing the other person "should know", yet what we really expect is that they will read our mind. Yet, we can't read theirs! The best thing to do is work on your communication with him. Good luck!
2006-09-04 14:12:59 · answer #3 · answered by loving father 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's just a taker and a punk. I assume he's an adult, not a 16-17 year old kid, and he's letting (or conning) Mommy into sending him money. That shows real maturity, ethics, and ambition. Besides sleeping with you, exactly what does he bring to this relationship? Are you such a skank and pathetic loser than you need him? You are behaving like you've got to take any guy that will move in with you. You know what you should do. So, unless you ARE a desperate, ugly, sexually deprived ninny, boot his butt out of your life. But, that might be beyond your ability, unless you manage to summons up a little pride and backbone. Your choice.
2006-09-04 14:52:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have answered your own question by writing what your life is like with this guy. Think about what you are saying. Mom sends him money, he buys for himself, and never thinks of you. You have a guy that young gals (I raised a daughter and she and I have been through this before) get wrapped up with because he is cute or has some kind of physical mannerism that caught your eye and now your living with him. If you think I am out of line with this comment then read around on this Yahoo answer forum and see what young girls are looking for. You hardly ever read words like: trust, stable, mature, integrity. You read words like: hot, cute sexy, eyes, smile, etc. I am not saying physical attraction is not important but you must look past that before you live with someone or you will end up with the self centered immature person you have now. Sorry if I am sounding hard but moments in the way past with my daughter are coming back. By the way she finely came around and got a great mature man.
Edit: I read where some advised talking to him. A voice of experience, is calling in your ear, (me) he will not liston because that means thinking of someone else besides himself. That will not happen. Get another man not a boy.
2006-09-04 14:29:54 · answer #5 · answered by Shellback 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How can you live with a self centered, deceptive, and a person who lies. If he is lying to his mother then he will not hesitate to lie to you as well. He is not going to school, he is of no emotional support to you, not helpful to you. You have proved to yourself that you can take care of yourself, this is a great learning for yourself, thank him in helping you realize your potential. You really needed this for self realization, take this as a good learning experience and ask youself if this is how you want to be treated in a relationship. I wonder why you need appreciation from someone who is not honest in any relationship, Do you think he is going to honestly appreciate you? NO! And why would you bow to that level? Dont you know you are better than him? He controls your self esteem?
Sounds like its all about him only. How can you live with a person who has guns and bullets, its time you think of your safety and decide for your own good. Dependency invites all problems and unhappiness. Learn to stand on your own feet and take care of your needs than to be dependent on anyone else. Relationships work when you are independent and happy by your self, When two dependent people are in a relationship it is like two beggers asking for alms. How can a relationship be happy? Both are hungry and needy!
2006-09-04 14:25:45 · answer #6 · answered by thachu5 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you must leave him,because he is not a gentle and responsible man.He is too selfih.Luckily you did not pregnantafter 4 months with him.Did you use contaseptic ?You must be cauti-
ous with a guy who are approaching you.You must evaluate his morale and his responsibilityand other aspect of his characters.
He is not a financially independent guy.He is still depending on his mother's help.He is stubborn.You must try to be independent
not hoping your bf to help you.He willnot care you because he can not care himself.You must help yourself.If you are old enough and your bf fit for you,you must get married.You have an adultery and you have a sin.You must ask for forgiveness from your God and please swear in your heart that you will not do that again..You must focus your effort for a success on your study for your bright future.If you have no enough money for paying your school fee and books please ask for help from your parents or your older brother/sister.Please forget your last selfish bf.Good luck for you.
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2006-09-04 14:29:52 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you obvious don't want to leave him, or else you wouldn't be having trouble at all. The obvious thing to do is leave him, but you can't do that, you've grown emotionally attached to this person, despite all his faults. Know now that it will be VERY difficult (and in most cases even rare) to change him, but you could always give it a shot. You really should just leave him, he doesn't seem to be bringing anything to the table, just making your life more miserable. If you have it in you, leave him, if you don't, good luck with trying to change him.
2006-09-04 14:09:18 · answer #8 · answered by Hermes711 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like everyone else answers! What I was thinking when I read your statement was that you will be the one with a degree... and he won't. You'll have everything and he will have nothing. Leave him. I married a forever 5 year old, but I lucked out... he has an MBA now and makes his boy toys more tolerable. Do you actually want to be with a forever boy that you will have to support with your degree? Think about that.
2006-09-04 14:18:33 · answer #9 · answered by Valeria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to him and tell him how you feel if that wont work then you need to say bye to him and leave his butt go find someone else or keep your mind on your school but you did rush into moving out with him really fast and you dont really see how that person is untill you do move out with him, and i think you had found that out, and plus people change also it's different when your just dating someone and live in different places then what it is when you move out together. you all should of waited for alittle bit longer and him going to his mother for money and spend it on himself that isnt right right there his mom shouldnt give him money specially if he dont have a job. which i hope he does cause if your doing it all then that isnt right and you really need to dump him but if he is doing these things to you already he wont do any different or stop doing what he is doing. but if i was you i would leave him k oh yea have you tried to talk to his mom? or do you guys dont get along i know that feeling if you dont.
2006-09-04 14:13:26 · answer #10 · answered by baby girl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Leave him now or get use to this way of life for the rest of your life. Two things: number 1- you should never move in with a guy. number 2- he does not have any legal obligation to spend his money on you
2006-09-04 14:15:27 · answer #11 · answered by lily 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋