Im married,but Im still in love with my ex.Should I go back to my ex or stick with my husband.Ex wants me back

Question

I have a very serious question,so I need some honest help.Ok I am married, but am not in love with my husband.To make a long story short.It feel like we just wanted to be with one another.At the time I had just broken up with my boyfriend of 3 years,and he had broken up with his girl.We knew if each for a long time,and had always had a crush on him.Anyways,we got married, but I am still in love with my ex!My husband and I fuss and fight a lot.We have even filed for divorce,but he stopped it.He wanted to work things out.So right now,we are trying to work on things.But I just cant give my all to him,because I dont deeply love him.I have feelings for him,but my love for my ex is even stronger.Ok we live in CO,but when we have a fight he,always wants to send me back to SC.I really am trying to make it work,because we are married.The smart choice would be for me to stay with my husband,because he is a better financial provider.My ex has my heart and soul.What should I do.Any advice is good.

Yes I have a 16 month old son.That doesnt belong to my husband.October will make 2 years of being married.He knew that when we got together that I was expecting a child.He was ok with the idea of me being pregnant.First when we got together he lived in CO and I was in SC.So we never really spent time with each other.I flew up to CO got married and came back to SC.I came back up here to have my baby.He left on before I had my son.He is in the military.He was gone for a year.I moved back to SC to be closer to my family.When he came back,we were not getting a long at all.I hated him and he hated me.We both did some mean things to each other.Then we decided to try to work things out,so I moved back to CO,I have been up here for almost 2 months,and cant take it anymore.I think that we are clashing,because we rushed things and dont really know each other.Before we were good friends.We went to the same school and even worked together,but now I just dont know what to do.I am very stressed out.

My ex and I broke up,because his family didnt want him to leave the "nest".He has the sickle cell trate,and at times his feet would get sores.I took care of him,and his mother didnt like the fact that I was always there for him.I just couldnt take his mother anymore.So I broke things off when him,once he got better.That was the biggest mistake I could have made.Now his mother calls me,and she will tell me how sorry she is.She know relizes that I loved her son,and only wanted the best for him.She tells me how stressed he is without me.My ex,has a lot of respect for my marriage.He no longer calls me or emails me,since I came up here.I am just so confused.You are suppose to stay married for all time,but I just dont know if my marriage is going to work out.So please give me any kind of advice.I dont want to hurt my husband more than I have already have.My husband is no Saint.I dont think he wants to stay married either.He picks fights over the littlest things.This is not healthy.So help me

Answer 1

I don't want to write you a book here but there are a few key pieces of advice that you should heed.
1. Your ex is your ex for a reason..something didn't mesh with you guys and you broke up because of it. Why did you guys break up?
2. It is very possible that you FEEL like you love your ex more because you are unhappy with your husband...that'll make anyone look better. Plus, we always seem to want what we can't have.
3. I don't believe you can HONESTLY be trying to make it work as long as you are preoccupied with your ex and wanting to be with him....that's unfair to your husband.
4. You need to consider and evaluate WHY you and your husband have had problems and you need to be honest with yourself....do you think it's fixable?
5. Don't base your decision of who to be with on money.....base it on who treats you better, understands you more, and makes you the happiest.

Good Luck.

Answer 2

Tell him that you've been doing some thinking about what went on between the two of you and you realize that an important part of growing up is learning to resolve conflict without a break-up. Tell him you'd like to give it another try, taking things slowly and being considerate of one another's feelings. Make sure you are willing to completely put behind you whatever it was he did that angered you. If you have forgiven him then never refer to it again because "if you keep looking in the rear-view mirror, sooner or later you are going to crash." Comprendez?

Answer 3

well Ex husbands are called X's for a reason. if there was something he felt then divorce would not have happened. Stay with you husband you have now he loves you or would not have stopped divorce. Love is something that grows with time. Lust is what you have in the beginning. As long as you both try you will grow together more as time go's on

Answer 4

go 2 the 1 u love and loves u

Answer 5

depends on the reason you and your ex broke up....it sounds like you dont love your husband anyway so you need to get out of that situation before you get even more miserable and you lose yourself....financial reasons are fine but you will be just as miserable sitting there with all your worldly possessions........

Answer 6

Do you have any children?

If not, GO...be with the ex...but you might want to really look before you leap as there are probably REASONS he's your ex. Don't make more drama for yourself unless you are SURE this time.

Answer 7

I am the same situation and trying to figure it out too. My first husband wants to get married again.

Answer 8

WELL IT REALLY DEPENDS ON HOW EACH OF THEM TREAT YOU IF 1 TREATS U LIKE A PIECE OF TRASH THEN DONT STAY WITH HIM STAY WITH THE 1 WHO RESPECTS U AND CARES MORE

Answer 9

In sickness and health, good or bad, riches or not to death do you part.

Answer 10

"...my love for my ex is even stronger..."
"...My ex has my heart and soul..."
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You're just looking for someone to tell you to follow your heart, aren't you?
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