I already stated a question, and I mean you are who you are, but I was talking about the stereotypical people who are just doing it to be stereotypical. Those passionate queens.
They make it so hard for me, because first of all no one even BELIEVED me when I came out, and my parents still have no idea that I'm gay!! I also have to put up with a bunch of crap how EVERYONE thinks that gay people have to be queens.
And let's not forget I'm told that since I'm young I have to have an absolutely smooth, perfectly skinny body, no facial hair at allllll. It drives me nuts!
Is there anyone else who hates to be identified with these kind of gay people? Do you think I have the right to be angry?
Please don't get offended, you shouldn't be offended if people don't like who you are, 'cause you're you for yourself and not going to changen anyways. I just wouldn't mind finding like minded people!
2006-09-04 13:40:59 · 24 answers · asked by Adam G 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
goldwing110083, I guess the unfortunate thing about diversity is that people wont always like the things you take pride in!
2006-09-04 13:56:28 · update #1
But that doesn't mean the things you take pride in are wrong, I just personally dislike it!!
The worst thing about being camp or whatever is the fact that I don't have a perfect body and I feel very insecure when messages like this are put through society that makes people, like me, have REALLY low self esteem about it!
I feel that young people my page, not even 20 yet, "have" to act this certain way, because that's the way society portrays it.
I guess it did lead me to be really bitter with people who are like it though, I'm sure people are only like it for fun. I just...really don't like it!
2006-09-04 14:03:21 · update #2
you have the right to like or dislike anything that you wish. You are right that there are a lot of stereotypes in the lgbt culture. You do not have to fall into any of them. It's not easy being the person who walks to their own beat, but it sounds like you are doing it. You don't have to be perfect...lordy knows none of us are. The queens are that way because that's how they are comfortable. You, however, know that you are your own person and don't need to follow along with everyone else.
Show yourself for who you are, not what you are. You are many things. Take me, for example. I am a lesbian, a sister, a daughter, a student, a friend....I am many things. Each of these things are a PART of who I am, not the sum total. You don't have to be perfectly slim and hairless. There are many people who won't find this attractive in the least. What is important is that YOU find yourself attractive and loveable/likeable to yourself. You are intelligent, articulate and passionate. How can that not be liked and respected?
I don't identify myself with any particular group, and if someone tries to put me in that box, I just smile to myself. Who does it hurt? The people who know me, KNOW me. The ones who don't will make a call based on whether or not they bother to get to know me. Either way, I know who I am, and what I'm about.
Good luck to you.....you're doing great, and you should always be your own person.
2006-09-05 16:03:49 · answer #1 · answered by Autumn BrighTree 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not think you have the "right " to be angry at anyone...that makes you no different than the homophobes seen here every hour. Perhaps it is time you live and let live. Back off the judgements and let others do their own thing..how, exactly, are thy hurting you? I am identified as ME, not as anyone I may be seen with, or without! You are acting no differently than straights who think that all men should behave in a narrow macho way. Get wise....we have a rainbow flag for a reason..it includes ALL people, not just those who meet your approval. And I do not run around with a boa, scream , shout gay things, or anything else...in fact, I am considered pretty butch. I have no problem with gays camping it up..why in the world do you?
2006-09-04 13:48:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, you have no right to be angry at 'stereotypical' gay people. Number one, there is no such thing.
Number 2, the adults before you fought for gay rights so you could have some freedom to be out.
You need to stop worrying about how other people present themselves. You be yourself and contact the gay center and ask for groups of young . Once you feel pretty good about coming out and being who you are, you'll find a whole world of gay people you never imagined. HUGS!
2006-09-04 23:21:02 · answer #3 · answered by reme_1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to study some of the history of the gay movement. Without "those people" you wouldn't be able to be openly gay. No one expects you to act like that, that is your internalized homophobia and you don't have to date them just don't do more harm. Get involved in LGBT organizations to show the world that not everyone that is gay is a queen or effeminate. March in the parades so the media will see you and you can help the world see that we are diverse. Accept others the way they are so you can live as you want and others will learn to accept you as you are. There is so much misjudgement and hatred of us from outside our community, please don't make it worse by perpetuating it within our own community.
2006-09-04 22:30:08 · answer #4 · answered by chocolate sundae 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually instead of a "right" to be angry, you have a responsibility, a responsibility to yourself to stand up and be yourself, show everyone that you and many like you aren't these walking parodies of what it means to be a homosexual in society. I am heavier, I always have been, I love science, hard rock/heavy metal/ sci-fi and anime, I didn't like Queer as Folk or Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. I wear flannel and jeans, work in a factory and prefer a cold beer to a bottle of Chardonnay, can't stand cologne, and had much rather walk in the woods than jog thru the park. I am every bit as "gay" as the rest of them and am just as significant to our "society" as those dime-a-dozen gym bunnies.
Don't like the way you see things have become? Stand up. Be counted. Don't hate "them", hate is a waste of energy and you won't change them by hating them, just be you, maybe one day they will wake up and do the same.
2006-09-04 14:22:56 · answer #5 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Adam, I think you need more time and education about how diverse the gay community really is. Look at this board for example = g - l - b - t for gay, lesbian , bi-sexual and trans-gender.
Now we can sub divide these lists even further. Either gender can be butch or effeminate. Most gays dress and act like most straight people. However, you can divide the groups even further.
Among guys there are: twinks, leather-men, bears, circuit boys and people that don't go out and just do things like volunteer in charities or gay to gay events.
I don't know about all the female scenes, but their are the butch and the lipsticks and some are in to leather and many are not in to any scene at all.
If you identify with a gym boys or bears, then hang out with them. If the circuit bar scene is not for you then meet guys in other ways by being at gay events and charities or at coffee houses or through match.com or craigslist.
Even though loud queenie types set your teeth on edge, I want you to consider some benefits that they pass on to you. By being who they are they provide little areas around them where it is ok to be gay. The fact that they are so "extreme" in their mannerisms makes it easier for a less flamboyant person like your self to get by. How willing would you be to experiment or find out about gay life if you were the most radical type of homosexual around?
Trans-gender people and queen guys do not act the way they do just to make you angry. No one I have ever met was born with an instruction book and I think we all learn as we go.
I would just like to add that just as you need more time and education to learn about what types of gays there are, so will your loved ones. Be prepared to patiently teach them what you know to be the truths and misconception about the gay community. Go to the pflag site, gay.com, planetout and read things like the advocate.
Good luck.
2006-09-04 14:38:03 · answer #6 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No, don't get angry at them. That's how heterosexually gay people (the stereotypical queens), and heterosexuals, think of what it means to be gay. Our society (our heterosexual society) is to blame for that kind of behavior being perpetuated. They feed that queenie image every chance they get to portray a gay person on television. However, remember that gaiety (gayness or gay personage) also promotes diversity. The heterosexual society often leaves out the good guy.
2006-09-04 14:04:43 · answer #7 · answered by fieldscharlie 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't have a right to be angry.
I'm gay, and I'm probably the least stereotypical gay man you'll ever meet. But diversity is diversity. The very fact that you talk about being angry at someone for who they are makes me think of some stereotypical gay names for you, but I'll resist.
While you may feel challenged by your circumstances, NO you don't have the right to be angry. Not any more than they have the right to be angry with you for being so darn straight acting that it seems you're ashamed to be gay. Now I didn't say you ARE ashamed to be, but it could seem so. Do you think? Would it be reasonable for anyone to be angry with you because of it? Of course not!
2006-09-04 14:04:27 · answer #8 · answered by michael941260 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I have a good friend (he's actually my brother's very best friend as well) that told my brother and me that he's gay. You would never know, he's one of those comic book and RPG geeks. Most of his friends know, but the ones he doesn't want to know are the ones he has the "gay joke" going on with. That's pretty much calling each other gay all the time, and he doesn't want to ruin that. I think that he would be more comfortable in himself if the stereotypical gay man just wasn't so friggen "gay".
2006-09-04 13:47:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
well I have nothing against 'queens' except that I'm not one of them and don't want to be...live and let live....but I blame the media...everytime you see a picture of say a gay pride parade..whaddya see???...ordinary everyday guys..no way!! People wouldn't believe me when I finally came out either..but now I don't care....I don't know what you're on about no facial hair skinny body,etc.....I just like men.
2006-09-04 16:15:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋