2006-09-04 13:35:49 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
When I confront, they just deny even if they don't make sense or it is obvious. Right now I just ignore, but then they thought I bought what they said.
2006-09-04 13:52:19 · update #1
Prove them wrong.
2006-09-04 13:37:16 · answer #1 · answered by Backwoods Barbie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to get a liar to admit they have lied is to first get them to pay attention to someone other than themselves. Everytime they tell you something, don't get confrontational or you'll get NO WHERE. They will just make up more & more & more things to get you off the beaten path OR to keep you on ONE! Generally, it takes a liar to spot a liar & this does not mean that YOU are a liar, but you are skilled in the art of spotting a liar because you probably have more experience in certain subjects & matters that the other person is lying about. So, you have to learn how to "trick" your "trickster". It takes time & patience, but some of the best ways that I have found that work for me are just by simply asking questions & taking mental notes. If you don't have a good memory, then get a tape recorder & record your conversations with this person & when then insist that they NEVER said something, you can PLAY IT BACK TO THEM. If they still insist on playing games, then you should cut off all ties with this person for a set amount of time (perhaps 1 or 2 weeks) & tell them that you don't want to hear from them until they're ready to admit they have lied & then you tell them how disappointed you are in their behavior & ask them WHY they are mistreating you. Most pathalogical liars don't realize that they are hurting anyone, because they don't think that anyone truly cares about what they do. They need strong boundaries & guidelines to be spelled out to them in ways that help them to learn that it is OK to be wrong & it is OK to admit that you have stretched the truth, but it is NOT OK to hurt someone who has not been a party to their poor upbringing & side-tracked thinking. Something went wrong when this person was growing up & they learned how to lie to protect themselves & NOW it has become second nature & you or someone CAN show them that they can be themselves & that NOT everyone is perfect & if you & others show that you, too, have made some poor choices & others have forgiven YOU, then perhaps your friend can see that it is worth taking a chance to try to be a person of their word & to stop the lies that hurt everyone. It isn't easy & you may not want to take on this large task, because if you don't know when to push yourself away from this person, you could end up a bigger victim than they already are. Some people enjoy lies because it keeps people at arms length & they sometimes find it fun to keep the "drama" going on in the family. Most people don't become liars for nothing. It is a defense mechanism & a way to protect yourself from potential harm from others. It is also a way to say, "I have given up. I will never be the perfect person, so what does it matter if I tell the truth OR a lie, because NO ONE believes me anyway, so I'll just kep lying & try to remember what I have told everyone." Many liars keep journals just to remember what they have said to others! This person needs to see that it is far, far easier to just tell the truth & be done with it, because lies will only lead to more lies & that will lead to MORE unhappiness. It takes years of pain to finally decide that lies are more trouble than they are worth! Perhaps this person needs the pain of having someone turn their back on them in a helpful manner, rather than in a hurtful manner! Good Luck, it won't be easy, but it WILL be worth the risk!
2006-09-04 21:30:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay far, far away? At the very least, you can always respond to anything he says with "I'm sorry, I don't believe a word you say." The worst thing you can do is ignore it/enable it. My in-laws are the crown princes of enabling behavior and it drives me NUTS. They'd rather pretend that a problem doesn't exist than face up to it or discuss it. Don't get caught in that trap. Confront the problem.
2006-09-04 20:39:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
People are not born liars. Some terrible series of events created this person.
If you love them yo have to accept them faults and all.
I have a family member who lies so frequently that thy convince themselves that the lies they are spewing are true. Never rely on them for a true statement. Don't follow their advice, but humor them. If it gets too serious then you need to discuss the problem with your family and look into some sort of Adult protective therapy.
2006-09-04 20:42:07 · answer #4 · answered by momof2borninmarch 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a really hard situation to deal with. Best advice I can give is either to accept this person for who he or she is with flaws and everything (without leaving yourself open for injury), Or stop communication even though painful. I have a sister with this problem and tried for years to be close but had to let her be.
Good luck!
2006-09-04 21:30:33 · answer #5 · answered by niaflower 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say learn to live with it 'cause soon you'll become one too. If you can't stand it find a way of keeping away from this person. If you can't get away then don't believe anything they say and don't feed into it either. Say if they come to you telling you that someone else said something about you just say "oh really" and ignore it 'cause you already know they lie about everything.
2006-09-04 20:46:10 · answer #6 · answered by hilda c 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I just learned to live with it... my husband is one... his are extremely dumb though and about nothing important. Like we will go somewhere and then when we get to my parents house, he start telling some stupid story about something that happened while we were out and I am just sitting there next to him, looking at my parents shaking my head and saying that did not happen.
I just learned to live with it.
2006-09-04 20:37:52 · answer #7 · answered by Ashley P 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't believe him...
No the best thing to do is to have him prove any statements that he makes. Everything and anthing that the person states you say; PROVE IT.
Jerry
2006-09-04 22:15:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have a cousin who is a freaking psycho liar but luckily i only see her once in a blue moon....biggest liar ever! just act dumb w. them i mean, if they say something that seems like a lie just lamely say " oh, cool." haha
2006-09-04 20:37:49 · answer #9 · answered by Heat seeking missile 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just start asking questions. They will eventually get mad because their BS story don't make sense.
2006-09-04 20:38:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't even give them the time of day
2006-09-04 20:37:50 · answer #11 · answered by Bellina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋