But he has not filed any papers I love him madly and he says he's going to do it should I give him more time or leave him and find someone else help me I'm very confused and in LOVE
2006-09-04 13:00:37 · 47 answers · asked by Sassy Sistah 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
idiot
2006-09-04 13:05:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is not seeing her, then he should divorce her. I think that in this situation you have to test the old theory. If you love something let it go and if it comes back divorced then it is truly yours. Leave his lazy a** and if you are important to him he will know what needs to be done and do it. Then if he doesn't marry you, you will have another problem. Put all your cards on the table. Spell out what you feel and what you expect from him all at once. Heck, write it down so he can take all the time he needs to digest it. Leave, and if he wants to be with you, he will do what you request so long as it is not unreasonable. You deserve a man that is committed to you.
Not to make it something that it is not, but you get the sh**, taking care of him, catering to him, sharing his bed, cooking, cleaning, and if he croaks, she gets the social security. WTF is that. Stop giving yourself to someone else's husband. In the end you will end up regretting it for so many reasons. Do not invest 2 more years into a man that is committed to someone else even if it is only on paper. There is nothing to getting a divorce. Do it as cheaply as $99.00. WHAT IS HIS EXCUSE?
2006-09-04 13:16:51 · answer #2 · answered by ushouldnoidontplay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't tell u how many times this question has been asked here but the truth is...he's NEVER going to leave his wife for u or any other woman. His wife is still number one to him. The life he built with her and their family is something he will never give up for anyone. U are kidding yourself if u actually believed his line. If u were any wiser, u would find someone single and uncommited and not mess with a married man.
When in doubt, just ask yourself: What have u got to offer that his wife hasnt' already and then some?
2006-09-04 13:10:15 · answer #3 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the answer to your question is in front of your face but you don't want to see it. You have been with him for 2 years and he hasn't even gotten the paperwork started yet? If he hasn't filed the paperwork in 2yrs the odds are he isn't going to and you should cut your losses and move on. If he loved you as much as you love him, then he would have filed the paperwork a long time ago so that he could be 100% free to be with you.
2006-09-04 13:08:10 · answer #4 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should leave him and look for greener pastures. If he hasn't filed papers after being with you for 2 years, he never will.
As long as he has the pretense of a committment with his wife, he doesn't have to commit to you or anyone else. You say you,
"love him madly," why? He's strung you along for the last 2 years.
Actions speak louder than words. Don't let him take 2 more years of your heart, mind, body, and soul.
2006-09-04 13:20:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, stop messing with married people. Just because they are "separated", it doesn't mean that they aren't married anymore. Separation doesn't change legal status.
He's not going to get a divorce. As they say, It's cheaper to keep her. It's true because if he divorces her, there are attorneys fees, possible alimony, splitting of assets, and if they have kids together and he doesn't get custody, there's child support. I suggest that you move on. Give yourself 6 months to not speak to him. It will be hard but you can do it with help from supportive friends and family. After that, if he hasn't filed for divorce yet, you know he's not serious about it.
Please, save yourself the headache and heartache.
2006-09-04 13:20:50 · answer #6 · answered by babyg1rl007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I been in the same situation as you. I dated this guy who was still married, got pregnant by him and lost the baby. Him and the wife were separated and he was waiting on her to sign the divorce papers. She would sign them. He claimed that he had to pay so muich money to get the divorce without her signature(BULLSH**!) This was in 2002-2003. We broke up in 2003. He met someone else later on that year and married her last year and guess what, his divorce STILL wasn't final. He married this girl in May of 2005 and his divorce got finalized about 2 days before he got married. So bottom line is.... If you have patience then I say wait on him but If not, do like I did and leave.
2006-09-04 13:06:57 · answer #7 · answered by tantalizin1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On thing I can tell you about men especially, is that If he's not a man that gets things done it's not gonna get done. Prime example my husband adopted my daughter, guess who had to do the paper work I did. He wanted it so badly but just didn't get it done. So if he is serious about getting the divorce, I would put him to the test by presenting him with some divorce papers to give to his wife and see what he does with them. If he's not serious or gives you alot of excuses then I would leave his behind.
2006-09-04 14:13:18 · answer #8 · answered by badaries 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yea, right! You just keep waiting, for I am very sure he is highly misunderstood by his wife, never gets sex at home, is treated very, very badly by her, and that is why he stays married to her...or perhaps it is because she would just fall apart if he left her, or is her health an issue...or perhaps when the kids just get a little older, or perhaps when the wife is better prepared to face the cold world..or perhaps....
Get real, lady. you are ONE of the other women in his life, and there will ALWAYS be other women in his life...do you not watch any tv...do you not read anything in the papers, books, etc...this is real life, not a fairy tale with a happy ending. You are being used, you are wasting valuable time to build a life, and it will not be with this guy. Get your own life and your own husband..stop borrowing someone else's, for he will be hers for a long time...she KNOWS about you, trust me on that one...you are certainly not the first, nor will you be the last. She just doesn't care. Perhaps she actually likes the set up, and you are being set up, that is for sure.
2006-09-04 13:03:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love is blind. First of all, if you knew he was married, why did you even stick around with him? He's using you to get the best of both worlds. He needs to grow up and you need to get a life!!!!
If it's been 2 years of him saying he's getting a divorce, I think he's a little slow at leaving his wife. After all, he must be getting a kick out of how naive you are.
Do yourself a favor, get out and find someone else. I don't think you are actually in love with him. You are in love with the idea of someone like him.
2006-09-04 13:07:21 · answer #10 · answered by Lonewolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that it's been two years and he still isn't divorced should tell you something. A divorce only takes about six months if there are no delays. Find yourself someone who isn't already taken and give yourself a chance to be loved for real.
2006-09-04 13:28:54 · answer #11 · answered by Cris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋