What would you do If your loved one seemed to be less mature then you ?would you wait till he matures ?

Question

By saying that my other half is less mature then I am , I mean that he seems to forgete about everthing thats importnet from geting the MOT sorted to forgetting to forgetting that I'm at work. He tell me that its becose of his job and that he just cant think about 100 things at the same time.But im starting to fell like his mother reather then girlfirend.And the worst thing is that he wasnt like that when I meet him.At the begining I was like a little girl that he took care of . Ive talked to him, about it but I just fell like Iam lecturing him insted of having a conversation.I love him and I know he loves me but I just wish we could turn back time...

Answer 1

I would advice you tell him things only once and watch him make mistakes or forget. If falling into a ditch you warned him against hurts him enough, he will remember next time whatever you warn him against and grow into being pro-active in order not to fall in future. Do not wait for him to fall or fail or forget anyway, whenever you tell him something, back it up with a private prayer for him to remember. But do not think you are perfect; he survived before you met. Again ,maybe his defficiency is why you met so that you can always help him out; God sometimes make unlike poles to attract in relationships.

Answer 2

Mature? Men? I doubt that I have ever heard these two words in the same sentence. being in my 30s I have dated men between 16 (when I was a similar age)and 40-odd and I have not found one who I would call mature. There is always some element of immaturity about them, whether its playing computer games, wanting friendship approval or the mothering thing.

I am now living with someone I turned down when we were both 16 for being immature and he has not changed that much. I think as you get older you learn to compromise and accept these things in men ... same as men accept the 'nagging' and 'wanting to change them' that women seem to do unknowingly. Most women take on the 'Mother Role' eventually when they have kids.

If these things annoy you too much then perhaps you have not found the right one yet, or you're asking too much ... they're only men after all.

Answer 3

Depends on what you mean by less mature. If you mean he still acts like a kid in terms of his hobbies and sense of humor and the like--no problem. If you mean he doesn't have respect for other people (and this is evidenced by things like reading porn all the time or being selfish) or he has problems with responsibility, then don't wait because it may never happen. I have generally found that the nice guys who take a little longer to mature initially, become mature, responsible adults much faster in the long run.

Answer 4

hey stay with it i had similar when i started a relationship with the 18 year old daughter of a close friend i was 30 at the time a 12 year marriage under my belt and 4 kids at this point her mum threw her out so she had to live with me from the word go and found that she wasn't as grown up as she thought but she let me guide her for want of a better word and as long as you make it clear your trying to help and not dictate or control him i don't see any reason why you cant have a great relationship because you know if you leave it and wait for him to MATURE you will never make a go of it you will keep putting it off and before you know it it will be to late no one waits forever so be brave i wish you all the happiness that i have had we have been married for7 years now

Answer 5

You haven't mentioned how old you both are.
If you or/and he is below 22 then maybe you can try help him to be more considerate. However, if he is over 22 then he should already be mature enough to be able to see your side and to try and make your relationship work.
Maybe, and I hate to say it. But some people don't like to end relationships even though they are unhappy because they don't want to hurt their partners and so go through the motions of the relationship. He says he loves you, you have to ask him to prove it by compromising and do more to make the relationship work. Maybe you have to sit down and face him and ask him the question "Do you still love me?" I know it is hard and you might not like the answer, but you have to either just put up with his ways or consider that he is unwilling to change. In which case you have to ask yourself the question whether you can live with him like he is or not. It is painful, but it's better to know than living your life filled with doubt.

Answer 6

Hi.
Since you only mentioned his forgetfulness,which he blames on work, then ask him not to bring his work home with him (mentally speaking).
If his work is affecting his home life,then tell him to find another job.
If he values his job more than you,then dump him.
If his attitude is not due to his job,but some other issue, and he's using work as an excuse,find the real problem.
Your life clock is ticking away- happiness is a valuable thing, so you need to sort this- you only get one shot at life,so repair the bad bits and get some happiness!
Good luck. x

Answer 7

if he wasn't like this to begin with then he's as mature as he's gonna get. the problem is you probably have gotten into the habit of reminding him every 5 minutes to do things and clearing up at the back of him.

Hope is not lost though because this is all just habit forming and habits can be broken you just have to re train yourselfs into developing a more equal healthy relationship. xx

Answer 8

Im with someone who isn't fully mature in a relationship. He is 29 and still seeks approval from his best friend, is always making fun of other people and doesn't show too much respect for my concerns. Im at the end of my rope and am learning that I can't show him maturity, he has to find it on his own. I think its going to end shortly. Its up to you to figure out if you can put up with his immaturity?

Answer 9

It sounds as if he has become too complacent. Talk to him and let him know that it takes two to make a relationship and that one person should not be relying heavily on the other. Otherwise, you're either going to end up with a nervous breakdown or do him some damage...

Answer 10

he is a man and therefore cannot multi task, so breathing and thinking is doing good for him. Fogetting to do things isn't a sign of maturity, it is a sign of a bad memory, or he may not listen to you completly??

It really depends how much you love him. Be totally honest to yourself and think if this is what you want for the rest of your life, only you can answer that.

You could be waiting all your life for him to mature to your standard, your life, your call hon.