What To Do With Mother In Law - Constructive Ideas?

Question

My wife and mother in law have been fiercely competitive over the years and, at times, disrespectful of each other and those around them.

My wife recently learned that she will NOT be a beneficiary of her mother's estate and that 100% will go to her younger brother. . .who did not help his mother years ago when she was going through her own problems (divorce, relocation, career change) but my wife and I were there to help her every step!

Ignoring her. . .pretending not to have a mother. . .is not realistic as there are grandchildren involved. . .and it does NOT seem right to compound mistakes with another!

I know both women well and while, by design, I side with my wife I can be criticial and objective about her as well. . .nothing she has done or said to date justifies such a cruel and mean spirited action as for a mother to intentionally punish her eldest child/daughter "beyond the grave"!

Have you gone through a similar challenge - How to resolve?

Thank you in advance

Answer 1

they have to work it out themselves and if they cant than that's just how it will have to be , u or nobody but them can solve this issue

Answer 2

My husband came from a huge family, and when his mother died, her will stated that the youngest boy got the house and land and everything, because he was still living at home. He was 40 years old when their mother died. The rest of the 12 children got some little things as keepsakes, and that was all. Sometimes wills are not equal because some parents think that they have to try and help the ones whom they feel were more disadvantaged. All the remaining children accepted it, and I didn't hear anybody complain about it at all.

I have heard, however, that if a child is not mentioned in the will at ALL... it can be contested in court, on the basis that the parent was not of sound mind, or simply forgot to complete the will properly.

Answer 3

I do feel for u, while i was married to my x husband, I had a differant experience with my mother in law. But i'd say as long as u stand behind ur wife and encourage her to talk to her mom, maybe things will work out in the end. My mom died in 1998, and no matter how mad u are, or what happens between mother and daughter, once mom is gone she's gone. so maybe ur wife needs to understand this.