How do you become friends with Brits if you aren't suppose to talk to them?

Question

Sorry, that sounds kind of accusing but I'm asking this because of an answer that I got from a previous question: http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aq_muAdnP.6kGCEpJjKkBTkgBgx.?qid=20060830165335AAwOmss

I'm going to England for a year and am very excited about it. It has always fascinated me. So, I've been asking questions to find out as much as possible before I go. But, one answerer said that I'd be fine as long as I don't go up and say "Hi, how are you" or "Good morning" or anything like that because people usually don't talk to each other unless they are in their group. Is this true? If so, how am I suppose to make friends?

Sorry again if this question sounds rude because its not meant to be. Thank you for your answers!

Answer 1

I'm british, and I talk to everyone! I start converstations with lots of people, but not that many actively seek out converstations with me. Old ladies and homeless men tend to like to chat with me, but most people will have a natter if I get things moving. Just be friendly and chatty - loads of people will talk to you!
And you never know, we might start up a conversation on a bus or something!

Answer 2

1. Get a very small very ugly dog , and go walking in muddy
countryside. Smile at the dogs you meet on your way (I mean the animals, not the ... dogs, if you see what I mean)

2..Never, ever, smile at dog owners before smiling at the dogs first!

3.Compliment other dog owners on their own dogs.

4.These owners will feel so sorry for you they will return the compliment out of politeness. Use this opportunity to express your enjoyment of walking in such deep mud and they'll consider you one of them. They'll know you lie (being a foreigner), so will right away detect the only reason you said it was to engage conversation INDIRECTLY!Bingo! you've broken the code!

3. You've made it! Now, be careful with your manners.
Never say I "hate" something even if you do. Instead describe it as "a bit different". Watch the queen drinking "foreign" tea for more info.

4. Also, if you are very excited about something or... someone, refer to it/him/her as "interesting", unless it's very, very ....exciting and you've gone just too far for these silly games.

5.Don't ask an Englishman/Englishwoman to make a decision very quickly. Everything's got to be considered , discussed, etc...
until the train hits the buffer.

6. Use self deprecation in humour. Don't take yourself seriously,
but act as if, and you'll be labelled as "mildly amusing"

7. Don't be afraid to be "a bit different". They'll love it, but will certainly never tell you about it, except in coded language.

8. Go and live in the North. People will say "Good morning" or "F... off" whenever appropriate. Don't be afraid to talk to people without "being introduced". .. You'll end up talking to yourself....

9. If you can't be bothered with all the above, just be yourself, and they'll love you for it.

Answer 3

English hospitality is not as great as you might expect. In the north and south west it is ok. I'm just saying this because sometimes I get the impression that everyone else in the world thinks brits are charming, polite and warm, when in reality we are not necessarily any friendlier. That said, we do have a culture of politeness and good manners engrained in a schooling system so we make an effort.

But you know how it is London like any big city you'll get a whole range of people. London, its worth noting, is an international city and is barely connected to England proper in any way.

Answer 4

I think it's true that you may not get a good reaction if you just go up to someone & try to start a conversation. On the other hand, if you are here for a year then you will be living, working and socialising and that should give plenty of opportunities. In a social situation, bar, club etc, you may find people a lot more inclined to talk to strangers

Answer 5

I think you got some poor advice. I found that in London itself, (or any other big cities) people won't just strike conversations with strangers, not even on the tube. Get onto a train, and suddenly this barrier breaks away for some people. I had some really good conversations with locals on the train ride to London.
The area of England I lived, the typical greet was "Hiya!" and "y'allright?" (as in "are you all right?" similar to North America's "how are you doing?")
You are bound to meet some grouches, but that is true in all countries.

Answer 6

hey honey, Okay no need to be worried, although I do understand your concerns!
Well, for one it is generally not excepted to just go up and talk, but in your case, as you are foreign, people wont mind as much.
Say you said "Hi, I've just come over from America, I was wondering if there was anywhere you could recommend."
No one would mind that!
Also, if you are working here, you will be meeting new people all the tI'me! People at work, their friends...
If you go out to socialise you'll meet people there.
Also, if you are having trouble meeting new people (which I doubt you will!) go to a club of interest, im sure you will meet people and have a great time.
We don't bite :) Just ask people for directions or places to go in the area as a more natural way of starting up a conversation.
Good luck!

Answer 7

hi I have been living here for nearly 3 months. any contact i have had so far,has been fine,with friendly or perhaps polite replies.

i have not made friends as such, but because i am at home most of the time with my kids. they began school yesterday(aged 12ish and14), and came home relaxed,having made some friends. the older one stands out as he is tall and with a strong home accent,which it seems, does attract the opposite sex.
(ofcourse he is also drop dead gorgeous-i know i am biased)

he had been hanging out at a youth centre over the holidays,where he had no problems making friends.my gaughter went on a playscheme for a week as we were hoping she would meet some people too,and she did and probably had the best week of her life. they have both forgiven us -for now -for having moved them around.

we were in Ireland for 2 years before coming here. you should definately try to get there. what i loved about them, is that you can start a conversation with anyone at any time . i went for walks and met loads of people that way.over here when i walk ,i have found it is true ,that if they are not looking at you as they pass,then you are not even likely to get a hello. but there have been a few who do give eye contact and who will at least say hello,usually older people.it is also true about the dog walkers, i have never seen so many people loving their dogs so , and i enjoy watching the pooches and proud owners.

back home you cannot speak to strangers on the street, as most people are so security conscious . so i have accepted that different cultures have different social ways, and have their own reasoning for it. don't take it personally ,if you perceive some behaviour as unfriendly. you are young and obvioulsy enjoy life and intend to do as much as you can here. i am sure joining a gym or persuing other interests will get you meeting people. anywhere in the world your friendliness will shine through and you will make friends.

i saw someone mentioning her penpal, and i think if you made a few in the area that you will be living, it could benefit you. even if you never meet up, it will give you an idea of their lifestyle and knowledge of where to go and what to do. i made a few before knowing that i would move here, and they are allways the quickest to answer(compared to those from other countries),with some suggesting that we meet up.

if you look at this site there are often people looking for friends,so there are many people out there that can do with your positive friendship. you are going to love it here.

Answer 8

There is one rule for big cities and one for other places:
Basically in a city everyone will treat you with suspicion. It takes years to make friends with people.
However in other parts of the UK people are really friendly and you will have little difficulty making friends.

The key to being popular in UK - always smile and appreciate the humour of others, avoid serious topics, and show appreciation as a guest to all food and drink offered.

Always expect superficial friendliness, but never loyalty.

Remember: 'We must meet up' or 'You must drop in' means 'We must do it eventually, but not yet.' If there is no time or date it is not a proper invitation.

** Never ever ask for more - always wait to be offered and accept only after being offered two or three times **

*** Never take the last item on the plate ***

They are a weird bunch of people, but with patience you will grow to like them.

GOOD LUCK

Answer 9

Sometimes this is true, a complete stranger walking up to you and trying to start a random conversation in the street my be perceived as odd. However in more social settings its perfectly acceptable. I've met most of my friends like this! It can also vary as to what part of England you are in. In large towns and cities people are more insular than in rural areas. For example, when I went to Suffolk we were told we were rude when we didn't introduce ourselves in the local pub! Whereas I live in South London and the reverse is true. I'm sure you will get the feel of it.
Hope you enjoy your time in this fantastically diverse country

Answer 10

Brits are friendly people on the whole, though yes there are some who would put their noses in the air as if to say "how dare you deign to speak to me". This happens to everyone, not just because you come from another country.

My advice would be keep a nice smile on your face and be polite. That will get you further then anything else.

Answer 11

If somebody makes and keeps eye contact, you can start a conversation. Otherwise, lower your eyes and back away. The English can be vicious if intimidated. Enjoy your time over here, it's not as bad as some people like to make out. I'm sure you'll have a great time.