Why don't more people support Father's Rights?

Question

Why is it that when there is a divorce it is just assumed that the mother will get custody? Why is it assumed she is the better parent?
I am divorced and my abusive, bi-polar ex wife got custody of out 2 boys. Of course now the judge can see that I am in fact the better parent, regardless of what is between my legs, and she no longer has custody. But my question is, why, despite the police reports provided that prove her unstable nature and testimony given by others as to her inability to control herself, why was she granted custody in the first place?
Why is there such an anti-father bias in the courts that continues to allow children to be placed with abusive parents based on their sex? And what can be done to change this?

Answer 1

people still think that a man cant be as good a parent as a women ,regardless of what a crack head, waste of life she is. these morons still want to put mommies wants before the child's needs

Answer 2

Unfortunately in today's society men do play second fiddle when it comes to child rearing. The reason for that is woman have always had to, and not always by choice, be the primary caregiver. The mother has always been seen as the nurturer and the father as the breadwinner. The courts never like to change "status quo". If the mother was always the primary caregiver then that's what the courts want to protect. They believe that during a divorce the children's lives should be disrupted the least. Now your case is a bit extreme and if you had affidavit evidence that proved to the contrary that she was fit, then I am not sure why she would have been granted custody, unless her illness was proved stable on her part, by her doctors etc. If she could prove that with a stable support system she could still care for the children adequately then the courts would see in her favour. I say "her favour" meaning maintaining the status quo of her being the primary caregiver to the children and not upsetting their lives. It is unfortunate that for some men they are not well represented in the court systems however, there are more documented deadbeat dads then mature, loving, nurturing fathers who wish to maintain healthy relationships with their children. If you want to change the system then you should change that status quo. For every one man who wants rights to his children there are usually 50 or more who don't. So the courts protect the women who have no choice but do go it alone. It is unfortunate and sad but that's not to say that we cant change the system if we change the way society dictates the roles of men and woman with respect to the upbringing and responsibility of children. It is not easy to prove a parent completely unfit but the best way is to have " parenting capacity assessments" done along with children's services to investigate. Be sure you want to involve these types of professionals however, once they are involved there is no turning back. In the most extreme cases it may be necessary. But always make sure it is in the best interest of the child. You can also ask to have a children's Lawyer involved in your custody case who will assess the needs of the child with a health care professional and your child.

Answer 3

You have asked a good question but unfortunately there is no good answer. I am sorry for what happened to you and your boys. I guess it just goes back to history, it has always been assumed that the hubby will be paying, so he will be working, so he will be unavailable for parenting, but wives did not work, and so were available for parenting. It also seems to be assumed that men have inherent advantages and power that the system needs to balance (they think!) by weighting everything for the woman. And lets be honest, in some cases, women are the better choice for child custody, but it is not a universal, it varies by case to case. I am very glad that you ended up getting custody. I hope the legal system continues to modify its historic view, and comes to treat men more fairly. In all cases, the welfare of the children should be first in the court's mind.

Answer 4

I support fathers rights 100% I may be a mother and got custody of my child only becasue the father was not fit and I had all my ducks in a row. But I agree with you people shouldn't assume that mothers are the best because some are not. I belive they should have a test or someone should evaluate the parents home and determine from that who can support the child and give the child what he/she needs. Fathers are just as important as a mother is but who ever can do what's best for the child should have the custody, it's best for the child welfare.

Answer 5

The courts have no idea what is the best interest of a child really is. If the courts really would believe that then they would automatically grant a shared parenting and have a Parent coordinator assigned to deal with the setting up the plan to protect the children so they will be able to love both parents. My ex is so vindictive that she would fight the divorce to make me suffer and uses my children as pawns only allowing me the minimum time to punish both the kids and me. Check out the fatherandfamilies.org

Answer 6

Come on, lets be realistic. Law ALWAYS lags behind. That's why we still have odd laws on the books. Society eventually catches up with reality, but it takes a long time.Examples are easy. "Ladies and gentlemen" not gentlemen and ladies. "Ladies first", Abandon ship- Women and children first. It's why we seat ladies, open doors for ladies,etc. Yes, courts DO tend to favor women in custody. Why? Well traditionally, women did the child care- while we men plowed the fields, wrassled the bears, and protected the "weaker" sex. Give it a hundred years. Meanwhile, men ARE looked at differently.

Answer 7

Because the father has been stereotyped since day one. Somebody has to be the fall guy. It has got better over the years. Every now and then you will hear about a father getting custody but not very often. Somebody has to take it in the short and curlys it might as well be old dad.

Answer 8

I suspect that she filed first and got temporary custody, which often leads to permanent custody. One of the major problems with men is that they will not take the initiative to file first with the children.

Another problem is learning how to fight for your rights. Too many attorneys tell their male clients that custody is not possible for them, but that simply is not true, they just don't want to work for their money.

Go to the Yahoo Group site listed below and join. Go tot he file section and download the NCFC Manual. It will give you material that will help.

Answer 9

Here is something regarding Father's Rights.
www.fathersrightsinc.com
There is an old assumption that is hard to get rid of that "daddy works" and "mom is home", regardless of the reality. The judge definitely should have done better homework on your case, and I am glad you got your children.

Answer 10

I agree with you. Keep in mind now...when you go to pay child support, ask the judge if you can have the money put directly into a fund for your children and NOT into the mother's hands. Tell the mother that you will buy groceries and deliver them (keep the receipts) and get them clothes. DO NOT let the money go directly to the mother, she may blow it. I am on your side here, guys.