Someone once said to me, "You speak so well compared to all the other black students." She thought this was a

Question

compliment. Her husband proceeded to explain they couldn't be racist - because his first wife was Philippino. I've been told I'm well spoken and carry myself well. Question is, are "well spoken" blacks who carry themselves well oddities to White people? I mean, oddities in the REAL world, not the hip hop, MTV or COPS world. Do you think we're uppity? Other thoughts?

David, M-

I don't think you understand the core issues here. I'm in no way saying I should be criticized for speaking well. Think more deeply on this one.

This took place at Penn State.

Answer 1

I have respect for anyone who expresses themselves well...

Answer 2

Have you ever watched the show "The Boondocks"? There's an episode where Huey Freeman is trying to inform people of various religious, social, and political issues such as the fact that Jesus is black, Ronald Reagan was the devil, and the government was lying about 9/11. The people at this party all said "You speak so well", "You're so adorable", and "I love this kid" and even clapped after his statements. Never once did anyone care about what Huey was saying.

People who say things like that don't care. They will continue to say ignorant things like that until the day they die because that's the way they've been conditioned. The only way change will come about is when all people decide that not everyone from the same race or culture are the same. Until then, when someone says you "speak so well", come back with some equally cruel, try to educate them on the offensiveness of the comment (ineffective- see above), or just walk away.

Answer 3

Do I think who's uppity? You because you are well spoken? No. It is a compliment to be told you carry yourself well. It shows you have grace under pressure. Nothing wrong with that. I wasn't there when this was said, so I don't know what the context of the conversation was. She really could have been complimenting you. Maybe she was trying to say that you seem to be the best in the class. Who knows? Take it as a compliment. Most White people don't think it's odd when blacks speak well, or carry themselves well. Well, I don't anyways. Cheers.

Answer 4

Wow! that's an insult in an insult, she thought it was a compliment, and then her husband came along to make sure you understood they were not racist,
I don't think that your uppity, I think you are probably well educated and that you enunciate your words properly, and if you are educated you have a tendency to carry yourself well because you are confident.
I must say if I hear a speaker on TV who is well spoken, no matter the race, I am held captive by what he/she is saying even if I don't understand what they are saying, so, Yes you can say it is an oddity of sorts, because the language of the land has really gone way down today.

Answer 5

Make no mistake about it this woman was really insulting you. It's what you would call a backhanded compliment. Her "praise" goes in the same category as "you're a credit to your race." and "you're so nice for a Black girl." Believe it or not I've had people make these comments to me. The reason why these comments are so insulting is because people are assuming that to be a nice, polite, well spoken, intelligent Black person is somehow out of the ordinary. In other words normally you wouldn't find Black people to be nice, polite or well spoken. Many white people still find it hard to believe that a Black person can be just as intelligent (if not more), well spoken, polite and well mannered as they (well some of them) are. They still believe in many stereotypes about Black people. If you don't believe me, look at some the nasty, ugly and vile comments that have been written about us, especially Black women.

Answer 6

I believe that I'll answer like when I was going thru a divorce...

I found out that if I was,,,
sitting then that was wrong
standing then that was wrong
laying down then that was wrong
rolling on the floor then that was wrong
if i could have floated in the air then that was wrong

some people are always going to find somin' wrong wit da wa u does things....

some others are going to find the way you do this is jusssstt riiiiighttttt.

I believe that, most don't care...

I found that I got along better to not try to get anyone to change,,,,
just get away from those that I didn't like... (the best that I could)


I believe that, you can be what cha wanna be!
.
.
.

Answer 7

I don't understand how the race of a man's first wife proves his second wife isn't racist. In fact, I'd consider the idea racist in itself.

There are people like this all over the world. They think you should be complimented by an insult to other people. There's nothing you can do about people like this and they aren't going to change. Just ignore it and go on with life.

Answer 8

Obviously his wife has racist issues, yes. Her husband likes Philippino people... zippideedooda lol (it has nothing to do with wether he would like or dislike a black person) there are many forms of racism. Some are against all colors other than their own, and some are against only one race or color. All racism is ignorant and rude. There are bad apples in every bunch of of races, but we all need to try not to "throw the baby out with the bath water" We are all "The Human Race" =)

Answer 9

A backasswards compliment if I ever heard one.
Disregard it. Just be who you are.

Kinda reminds me of a story, not related.
A boy was told to always find a way to compliment another, and never be critical.

At a school dance, he was dancing with a girl, somewhat over weight. He tried to think of something nice to say.
Finally, he blurted, "For a fat girl, you sure don't sweat much".

Can you relate the stupidity?
They're everywhere.

I hope you don't take this politically, but look at the example of Condolizza Rice. What a brilliant and beautiful woman. Would your teacher have said that to her?

Answer 10

I have had people tell my children and myself that we talk proper, we are too good to live in the neighborhood we live in and that's some black people as well who tell us this. I think it's just because people don't see well spoken black people outside of t.v. and the board room and offices. I take it as a compliment and try to help the children in my neighborhood pronunciate correctly. I don't have time to explain why I like to talk the way I talk and walk the way I walk and think the way I think because I am too busy trying to better myself and others around me.

Answer 11

I have to interrupt the ignorance of neurotic 41. Civilization didn't being in Africa. Humanity itself is very old and has a lot of ties to Afirca, but civilization as modern people know it started in the middle east. If you would open up a history book you would realize the definiton of civilization and where it started.

To answer the question, I don't believe that any race has anything genetically bilt in to make one superior or inferior. I do believe that a large percentage of people of a certain race raised in similar settings exhibit similar behaviors, not inherent to everyone of the race.