I have been dating my fiance for about 1.5 years. He is kind and good to me. We have a very good relationship. Honestly, I can't figure out why I am so nervous about it. Except perhaps the having children thing. He really wants two kids. I love kids but I don't have so much time before I can't have them. Less than 5 years most likely. I am finishing grad school. I make great money. He is more or less just starting out. But he works hard and he has drive. But I have the cold feet thing. And we were thinking of eloping next month. Your thoughts.
2006-09-04 08:49:43 · 9 answers · asked by kishoti 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
1.5 years isn't really enough time to know someone well. I don't blame you for being nervous. Marriage is a HUGE thing to consider and undertake. Don't elope. If you have cold feet, that may be your instincts telling you something isn't right. Follow your instincts. You seem to feel pressured about this whole thing, especially the part about children. Also, you said you're in grad school. That's enough pressure right there! Marriage can wait. Believe me, I've been there. Marriage isn't a romantic stroll in the park. It's more like a roller coaster ride in an amusement park. If there is something you don't like about your beloved, you'll LOATHE it after you're married. Marriage does change things. I never believed it before I experienced it myself. I've learned the hard way that marriage isn't something to rush into. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
If I were you, I'd wait at least until I'm finished grad school to take a walk down the aisle. Plus, it seems that you make way more money than he does, and you have more education than he. Take my advice. Don't marry someone who is beneath you socially/economically. He may be a great guy and that's a plus. But you don't want to find yourself having to take care of him financially. In the end, you'll lose respect for him as a man if you are richer, smarter, etc. than he is...Marry your equal.
2006-09-04 09:21:41 · answer #1 · answered by truth 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hard to say; do you think you can come to an agreement about whatever issues you're having (i.e., kids, for example) - or are you hoping for him to "change his mind"? Chances are, he won't; this really is something that needs to be addressed and roughed out before you decide to get married. I don't think it's that unusual for one to "question" things before marriage; it is a very serious step, and to not have any doubts and second thoughts would probably be unnatural. But there shouldn't be any major issues between the two people; if he wants to have kids, and you don't really want to (or however you feel about it) - it will blow up in your face in the future.
2006-09-04 17:48:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is nature to be nervous about getting married because it is a life change. I got married at the JP on June 20 and I was nervous. But it is a good nervous, if that makes any sense. Just make sure he is going to treat you like you are supposed to be treated and that you want to spend the rest of your life with him. Make sure you love him, trust him, can confide in him, talk to him about anything and an important issue is to be able to compromise with each other. Just relax if all these are qualities you and him share them everything will fall into place. Good Luck and Best Wishes!
2006-09-04 15:54:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Make sure it is the real thing. Take it from me don't settle for less that what you are worth. Don't look over what may bother you and think it will work out. I hope things are good. But PLEASE don't elope it isn't right. If he loves you he will work with you.
Take care and pray about the matter. GOD will help through any situation. I know.
2006-09-04 16:08:14 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What u r feeling is nervousness, and its completely normal. but on second thoughts if u honestly is not in agreement to get married then dont. just tell ur bf that u r not ready or u either dont want to get married. dont wait any longer!
Goodluck!
2006-09-04 15:55:50 · answer #5 · answered by Miss-Kenya 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK, sorry but if you are having any doubts about getting married you should hold off on it. Good luck to you.
2006-09-04 15:58:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
communication is one of the biggest things in a marriage, so start now and talk to your husband to be about your fears and concerns after all that is what he is there for, YOU.
2006-09-04 15:56:54 · answer #7 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
everybody gets cold feet when it's time for marriage
2006-09-04 15:53:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
They will tell you its cold feet ,I call it instinct if you feel you need to run you better go.
2006-09-04 22:33:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋