My wife works 40 hours, goes to school full time, we have two kids, I do all the work around the house raise the kids when she is not around or doing homework. I also work 40 hrs and as soon as I come home my second job begains. I have to clean up the mess they made all day, cook dinner, get the girls to bed, go to sleep myself and then start it all over again. I don't understand why she won't try to fit in a few minutes for me. When we do make love it is maybe once every two weeks and only for ten minutes max. there is no foreplay and rarely do I even get to see her naked. Is it wrong to want more affection from her when she is so busy?
2006-09-04 08:45:29 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like you need to have a heart to heart chat with her. A husband left to fend for themself like that is no different than a wife. They both will begin searching for what is missing in the relationship.
2006-09-04 08:50:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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You two are making the mistake of not DATING.
Set aside money, or get with the grandparents at least one evening a week to get away from the kids > and
have a date with your wife that includes a fun "activity" (activeness IS foreplay); a light not too filling meal out (no dishes) great atmosphere, hand touching, and if you can find a place, slow dancing.
Ply her with about two drinks (more might make here sleepy); and shower together before bed.
Now, here this, even when a woman is tired, if you are good with your hands, and go slow and nice, you can get her to a place where she is willing...
you might be able to extend the 10 minutes, if you do more of the "work" in the making love...
Both of you should take vitamins regularly, and walk to keep your physical strength up, so that you may be more ready for a marathon. Why can't you ALL walk together during the week?
If you want something on Saturday, then you should begin your foreplay about Tuesday. All week long, little touches, pats, hugs and kisses, and winks and nods about the coming weekend affair.
Follow this, and get the results you want. OR ignore this and let your love life continue to slide down into oblivion. You decide.
I wish you love and happiness
stw
.
2006-09-04 08:56:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
plan a day where you know she is going to be home, take off from your work and find a sitter for the kids, plan a night including dinner, walk (on the beach or something like this) i wouldn't say go see a movie because it doesn't allow the couple to talk to each other and this what needs to happen here. Surprise her with this one night. Massage her, talk to her, tell her how you have been feeling and so on. I know for myself a mother of two, wife and college student, I stayed stressed out, i didn't want to clean the house because when i was home i had to study and when i was done studying there seemed to be no time left for myself. I have now graduated and i feel like the world has been lifted off of my shoulders, maybe this is the current problem, but communication with your wife is the most important thing right now. make the night romantic for her I'm sure she needs it more then she even realizes. hope everything works out for you, good luck.
2006-09-04 08:52:58 · answer #3 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things would be much better for all of you if one parent can concentrate on working and the other on being home and taking care of the family. It's time to take a serous look at your budget and incomes. Maybe one of you needs to find a better paying job so that the other can get down to only the one full-time job of home maker. Maybe you can sell the $50,000 SUV and drive a sedan. Your wife is too tired to add relationship maintenance to all the other responsibilities she has.
2006-09-04 08:54:28 · answer #4 · answered by Automation Wizard 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!!! you are her husband, which makes you a big part of her life and maybe it is about time that she remembers that. I know that it is very difficult for her and that she wants to better herself for everyone's sake ( I will be doing the same thing starting in may), but she needs to stay connected to her family that she created...I am sorry you are neglected! I wish that I had the kind of help that she does...my boyfriend does nothing besides work and blow the budget!!!sorry, self pity slipping in there.(we also have two little girls-ages 2&4)...talk to her, maybe she can work part time if that is financially feasable..if it isn't then hold on to the knowledge that it wont last forever she will finish school eventually...
2006-09-04 08:56:57 · answer #5 · answered by superfastkittykat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is wrong at all. What she is working so hard for she may very well lose if she does not open her eyes to your needs... No matter how busy she is, she needs to put you as a top priority.. You are her hubby and deserve a little TLC... She should crave this... And obviously needs to re-adjust her schedule to add you in... You are doing so much your self... And that speaks volumes about you... She should appreciate all that you do... Set her down and talk to her openly but lovingly, she will hopefully see what you are missing... Best wishes to you....
2006-09-04 09:01:12 · answer #6 · answered by Not Spoiled Just Loved♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
now everybodys life is really hectic so you have to make time to spend together---if your not taking out time for you and your wife then in the long run things could get irritating---
take a day and make it like a date day/night---get a sitter for the kids and spend the entire day together, go to the movies/ have lunch out---even if its only shopping----and then that night make it romantic---my husband is involved in media stuff so we are constantly running all over the place---but we make time for each other--at least 1 day a week/ we turn off the cells----clear the planners and we go--------
good luck to you
2006-09-04 08:52:39 · answer #7 · answered by darkangel1111 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your work allows you try to take a day off together. I know how you feel...but not the naked thing... but its not wrong to want more affection from her its what a couple does
2006-09-04 08:51:18 · answer #8 · answered by Chelso 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a legitimate comlain you have there, your wife is too focus on material things, maybe she is trying to give the kids the best of material things, little she knows the best she could give them is her motherly love.
If she believes in God and His commandments, I suggest for the two of you to start searching what God wants a marriage to be.
God in his word gave us all the advice we need to have a succesful marriage/family.
2006-09-04 09:01:23 · answer #9 · answered by Mother of three 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose not by your statements I think you care for her a lot but try putting you in her situation. I think there is something about her work that you don't know talk it over and you will find a solution that's for sure
2006-09-04 08:50:11 · answer #10 · answered by kumar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋