Without lying. What should I do? We have been best friends for 20 years.
2006-09-04 08:10:13 · 15 answers · asked by Special 'K' 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Just be her friend. Do not say anything about him to her. She will not hear you. When she is tired of treatment she will leave him. Just be there to catch her when she falls.
2006-09-04 08:13:24 · answer #1 · answered by lady01love 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweety sometimes all you can do is be there to listen to her questions and listen period. As much as we would love to go postal on the jerk we still have to look at the fact that if you was to react on this guy would all your hard work fall apart because she might go back to him or did he tear her self esteem down to the point where she feels like he's all she can get. Alot of women thinks taht because she has more than 4 kids that the picking for men is slim. Just be there for her and give your opinion but never, never, never talk bad about her. This is coming from a man that has 7 sisters, 1 brother, 8 aunts, 2 uncles, 45 female cousins, 5 boy cousins.
2006-09-04 15:23:11 · answer #2 · answered by Tigger-Tiger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel...well I think you should tell her the truth. Tell here that you are only telling ther this because you love her and you don't think she deserves to be treated like this. This might work but I do'nt think you really can do anything else...She has to find it out by herself. Im sorry..just stay by her in case she ever needs to talk. Be there for her and never say 'I told you so!'
2006-09-04 15:15:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, she will not listen to you until she is ready to listen. I would say, that you would love to hang out with her, but you do not want to hang out with both of them. Tell her, that if she cares for the guy, you will be supportive, but you can't be around him because you don't like the way he treats you and you don't want to hold your tongue.
When she is ready to listen, she will come around.
If she complains to you about him, don't tell her "you told her so." Tell her that he's a dog and she deserves better.
2006-09-04 15:17:22 · answer #4 · answered by gtn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I lost a 20 year friendship for the same reasons. He was so controlling she started to treat me like **** and I have been ****** over way too much to put up with anymore.
2006-09-04 15:13:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
CREATE SOME DISTANCE. WHY SHOULD YOU BE SUPPORTIVE OF HER DECISION TO PUT UP WITH BEING MISTREATED? IF SHE WON'T LEAVE HIM, WHY SHOULD YOU SIT AND LISTEN TO HER CRY ABOUT IT? STAY AWAY AND FORCE HER TO REALIZE THAT IF SHE CAN'T RESPECT HERSELF, THEN YOU CAN'T RESPECT HER. DON'T LIE TO HER. TELL HER THE TRUTH. SOMETIMES THE TRUTH HURTS, BUT IT SHOWS RESPECT. ONLY TELL HER ONCE, AND TELL HER YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT AGAIN. IF SHE CONTNUES TO COMPLAIN TO YOU, TELL HER SHE ALREADY KNOWS HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT IT, AND SAY NO MORE. THEN STOP TAKING HER CALLS. YOU CANNOT SAVE HER FROM HERSELF. ONLY SHE CAN DO THAT. DON'T ENABLE HER. TELL HER YOU WISH SHE WOULD FIND A NEW GUY WHO WAS GOOD TO HER, AND YOU WOULD RATHER HEAR HER BRAG ABOUT HOW GREAT THIS NEW GUY WAS.....
2006-09-04 15:17:12 · answer #6 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't, first she won't believe you, love is blind and sometimes deaf and dumb, so hang in there her world will fall apart over this guy sooner or later. She has to find out for herself, you can change them, only if there in pampers. If he treats her like sh-- he is a control freak.
2006-09-04 15:18:29 · answer #7 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her how you feel..
Say you will always be there for her anytime she needs or wants you,and you will be her friend forever but you can't stand the way he is treating her..but as long as she is happy it is what matters most to you..
I wish you Luck and hope you and your friends stay friends.
be nice about it and you and her will still be friends
2006-09-04 15:24:43 · answer #8 · answered by steve 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing for you to do is sit her down and tell her how you feel. if shes really your friend she'll realize how the relationships been going and thank you for looking out for her. if she doesn't then she just has to find out for herself. good luck!
2006-09-04 15:17:09 · answer #9 · answered by ms.chic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel in the kindest way possible. Try to help her realize that she's dating someone that really won't make her happy, even have a devastating relationship.
2006-09-04 15:12:29 · answer #10 · answered by sobefobik 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋