I have been divorced from my wife for six months. Mostly amicable but I still hurt.
She is now dating a man who she has invited to move in to the house with her and our five-year-old daughter.
I have met him and he seems nice enough but the idea of someone else sleeping in the bed I paid for and waking up to the woman I still love makes me upset and angry. Not to mention that he will have more time with my daughter than I will.
I know I have no right to tell her how to live her life but the situation is making me crazy with jealousy.
Any suggestions? From adults only, please
D
2006-09-04 08:03:44 · 29 answers · asked by Bugsy Groucho 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Unfortunately, this is the reality of divorce. I know there are probably alot of things you would like to do but nothing can be done legally. This is one of those things you will have to chalk up to experience and live with it and move on in your own life. Sorry and Good luck
2006-09-04 08:14:44 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you are divorced so there isn't much you can do about the boyfriend. Chance are since its only been 6m this is a rebound relationship and won't last very long. I would have a heart to heart talk with your ex about the influences/conditions this could put your daughter into. I would also find a place suitable (2 bedrooms) and close to your ex so that you may file for joint custody of your daughter. It means you will play a more active roll in raising her and you will have a better relationship with her. I know larger appartments are expensive, but its worth the expense when you get to have more of a role in your daughters life. Also school is starting, volenteer to be a chaparone on field trips, make sure you take part in your daughters school meetings, if you havn't already stay involved in doctor visits, maybe offer to sign her up for sport activities and coach them. Your daughter is old enough that she knows who you are and will without a doupt always love you.
2006-09-04 08:17:34 · answer #2 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. Why did you divorce in the first place? Who's Idea was it? Why don't you have 50% custody of your daughter yet? You don't have any right to expect oyur x wife to listen to anything you say regarding her love life. How the hell did she end up with the house? Wash your face off & stand up straight. Life is what you make of it. What is done, is done. Now there is only the future. Don't spend it pining away for a woman that you already had and couldn't work it out with. If you get you OWN life moving again, you'll feel better about all of this. You DO need to work on your divoce settlement agreement though, sounds like you got screwed to me.
2006-09-04 08:12:35 · answer #3 · answered by RhinoBoy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest one rule. No matter what, you do not bad-mouth your daughters Mom or boy-toy.
You will require time to heal. No way around this. But the one thing I learned in my divorce is:
Do not say anything bad about the ex. It is her Mom and there is no changing that. Even if the ex deserves this. Answer questions honestly, but tactfully.
Make all the time with your daughter as special as you can. Do not miss any activity, play, or whatever, be a presence.
You'll bounce back, and find someone much better.
BELIEVE THIS.
2006-09-04 08:23:13 · answer #4 · answered by medic_7083 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I can't imagine the pain and discomfort that you are going through. May God's blessings be with you and give you strength. Seondly, giving the amount of time that it took to her to allow someone else to move in may mean that it is still hope for you. See, most people don't marry overnight; saying that means that a love must have been established. The fact that she moved someone else in so soon is an indicator that it was something that she was missing and she is trying to fill a void. Can she really love and invite them to move in just getting out of a marriage? Sure, but is it really love....probably not. I was just get some counseling first for your depression and secondly, go and get your wife back. Not with agression, or deceptions, but with geniune love. Pray, meditate, and reevaluate where you went wrong and when the opportunity arises, make the best of it. Let's face it, she still has feelings for you and you two are forever binded by your beautiful child. So, my advice is to you is to clean your act up and GO GET YOUR WIFE. What God joined together, let no man seperate. Everything is possible with 100% faith. Good Luck bro. Cheer up!!
2006-09-04 08:18:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The best thing for you to do is to focus on you and your life. Have you tried talking to a professional? You have no control over what your ex does. You are lucky the two of you were able to divorce on amicable terms. Most couples don't. Don't mess up a good thing. Think about your daughter. Please don't go and do anything crazy. Like calling the house and hanging up or spying on them while hiding behind a trash can.
2006-09-04 08:12:58 · answer #6 · answered by L'teefaw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'M NOT SURE AS TO WHY YOUR MARRIAGE ENDED. I AM TRUE LY SORRY FOR YOUR LOST;HOWEVER, IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOUR EX HAS MOVED ON, I'M NOT SURE IF SHE'S TRYING TO MAKE YOU JEALOUS, OR WHAT THE CASE MAY BE,ESPECIALLY IF SHE KNOWS HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HER. WHAT I CAN BEST SUGGEST IS TO JUST LET HER GO. IF YOU REALLY LOVE HER AND WANT THE BEST FOR HER JUST LET HER GO! AND ONCE YOU LET HER GO YOU WILL SEE A DIFFERENCE IN THE RELATIONSHIP THAT YA LL HAVE NOW. SHE WILL NOTICE THE CHANGE IN YOU AND THINK THAT YOU ARE INVOLVED WITH SOME ONE ELSE,AND THAT IS WHEN YOU WILL FIND OUT IF SHE STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU AS FAR AS REUNITING. AND IF SHE DOES NOT SHOW ANY TYPE OF REACTION WELL THEN SHE IS TRUE LY OVER YOU AND YOU SHOULD JUST MOVE ON AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILD AND FEED HER FROM A LONG HANDLE OF A SPOON,AT LEAST UNTIL YOU GET OVER HER.
2006-09-04 08:49:46 · answer #7 · answered by UNKNOWN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I truely Understand. Felt the same way. As time goes on you will get over it. Keep being a good dad to your daughter and DO NOT bad mouth your ex in front of her. DO NOT ask questions to your child about the mom and the new boy friend. Get on with you life this chapter is over and you will find that the next page will be better.
2006-09-04 08:08:29 · answer #8 · answered by ferretcoach 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its a hard situation ... but right now its time to let go of your feelings with your wife. Continue to have a friendship and always be there for your daughter, but maybe its time for you move forward in your life. Search for someone to love you for who you are. Just always be the amazing daddy your daughter loves with all her heart ..
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-04 08:07:04 · answer #9 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you're free from her thru the divorce, it doesn't mean you're free from the mess of emotional attachment... that takes awhile.
You're always going to love/like/admire some good qualities that she has... if you want to get over the hurtle quicker, you could try focusing on her negative side a lot more.
If you don't let go, you'd just be setting yourself up for more heartbreak.
2006-09-04 08:17:55 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋