please dont judge, but i left him for another man, in another country. i did not have money for a lawyer, so he got everything including custody of my children. is there anything i can do like appeal the custody issue?
2006-09-04 07:47:54 · 18 answers · asked by woman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't want to sound harsh....but you didn't consider your children when you made the decision to leave and have an affair....why the concern now? Is it because you have to pay child support?
The optics of what you did really reflects poorly on where your head is at, your sincerity about being a mother and your level of morality.....you have an up hill battle to get the kids back.
Life is about choices and you've made yours. No whining please.
2006-09-04 08:07:19 · answer #1 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you left for another country, why doesnt matter, in the eyes of the law, you basically abandoned your family and with your whereabouts unknown, the courts awarded your husband the custody of your children. Now youre back in the country and want your kids, like nothing happened. You would first have to prove to the court a really good reason why you left, like having an operation only offered in that country or the like, not because of a man. Then your ex would contest that reason and you lose. This has to be done even before the court would even consider rehaering a custody hearing and if it did get that far,theres no guarantee that the court would overturn its original decision so basically you screwed yourself out of any custody chance. Sorry
2006-09-04 08:10:01 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now you are going to spent some serious money
when he first file for divorce you should have get yourself a Lawyer
how old are the children, and what is the country you had move to you ask for help but you did not give the complete picture
2006-09-04 07:56:17 · answer #3 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Similar thing is happening to my mom. She cheated, left the family, and isn't fighting to hard or getting any lawyers. One variant is that my mom's an alcohlic. But *you* left for another man in another country! It shows how high of a priority you place your kids when you leave them.
Your ex-husband was able to show that he was able to get the lawyers needed and support the children. You couldn't. Therefore, he won. Sorry, that's the way the world turns. You can't have your cake and eat it, too. Maybe you shouldn't have cheated on him to begin with.
2006-09-04 11:52:31 · answer #4 · answered by Janelle B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It first depends on the state your in ..and then if you defaulted in that state. how long ago the divorce was etc...You go to the local court house and use their law library and look up custody laws your self or go to your public library and get the information there in every day terms in law section..if you do this..then you can be knowledgable about the types of questions you should ask...Also many times lawyers will gove initial consults for free..but go prepared !!!Know what you want to ask ..maybe you can get custody modified..
2006-09-04 07:55:52 · answer #5 · answered by stars2noc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is a powerful force, I have to admit. I've done things for love that I never would have otherwise. You can go back to court and represent yourself, but the likelihood of a change in custody is not good. In time, maybe your finances will improve, and you can afford a lawyer. In the meantime, I feel your pain. Try not to dwell on it!
2006-09-04 08:00:40 · answer #6 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically, you should have thought this out a bit more, especially in regards to your kids before leaving them. If you really wanted your kids in your life, you'd have done things a little differently. And your husband has every right to retain everything, including the kids. What would happen if you left this new guy? You'd abandon them again, but with this stranger? Nah, if I were you I'd get my divorce, ask for visitation rights and then get on with life.
2006-09-05 01:44:58 · answer #7 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are actually just beginnig to feel the reprocussion of living a selfish life. How could you leave your children? If you have the guts enough to leave them for your lustful ways, then you truly do not deserve them. Caring about yourself just cost you your family. and what kind of man that knows that a woman is a cheater would actually take a woman to be in a serious relationsdship. How can you reassure him that you are not going to do the same thing to him....all in all you are pretty screwed...godd luck with life selfish.
2006-09-04 08:07:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You abandoned your children to your ex-husband that is frowned apon in this society, and for another man. You have your work cut out for you girl. Good luck, I'm a women with a child I'd like to see a man come between her and I. I can't get my head around it but go see a lawyer and get off the internet and start your fight to get them back.
2006-09-04 07:52:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
nothing to judge-you made a choice to your husband for another man-yet not in your neighborhood, but another country? are you still with him? he should get everything. you abandoned them. what were you thinking?
no matter what state you live in-this does not look good for you.
you might get supervised visitation rights, but i don't see more than that. you left them once-what is to say you wouldn't do it again? contact a lawyer who practices family law.
2006-09-04 08:07:01 · answer #10 · answered by lon d 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋