2006-09-04 06:45:53 · 41 answers · asked by plasstick_phorque 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Movies
ASK ME ABOUT MY WEENER!!!!!!!!
2006-09-04 06:48:45 · answer #1 · answered by twilight 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jack Sparrow: Who makes all these?
Will Turner: I do. And I practice with them three hours a day.
Jack Sparrow: You need to find yourself a girl mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch are you?
- Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
- Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Charles De Mar: [giving skiing instructions] Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.
- Better Off Dead
Tommy: Let's think about this for a sec, Ted, why would somebody put a guarantee on a box? Hmmm, very interesting.
Ted Nelson: Go on, I'm listening.
Tommy: Here's the way I see it, Ted. guy puts a fancy guarantee on a box 'cause he wants you to fell all warm and toasty inside.
Ted Nelson: Yeah, makes a man feel good.
Tommy: 'Course it does. Why shouldn't it? Ya figure you put that little box under your pillow at night, the Guarantee Fairy might come by and leave a quarter, am I right, Ted?
Ted Nelson: What's your point?
Tommy: The point is, how do you know the fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy, well, we're not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. The next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser and your daughter's knocked up, I seen it a hundred times.
Ted Nelson: But why do they put a guarantee on the box?
Tommy: Because they know all they solda ya was a guaranteed piece of ****. That's all it is, isn't it? Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time. But for now, for your customer's sake, for your daughter's sake, ya might wanna think about buying a quality product from me.
Ted Nelson: Okay, I'll buy from you.
- Tommy Boy
2006-09-04 09:18:18 · answer #2 · answered by billyidolrb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"There was only one problem - I'd never been in love! Luckily, right at that moment an unconscious Argentinean fell through my roof. He was quickly joined by a dwarf dressed as a nun." Christian Moulin Rouge!
"Satine: A little supper? Maybe some champagne?
Christian: I'd rather just, um... get it over and done with.
Satine: Oh... very well... then why don't you come down here and let's get it over and done with?
Christian: I'd prefer to do it standing.
Satine: Oh.
Christian: You don't have to stand I mean. Sometimes that - it's quite long. And I-I'd like you to be comfortable. It's quite modern what I do and it may feel a little strange at first but--but I think if you're open then--then you might enjoy it." This whole scene is funny because Christian is talking about poetry and satine thinks he is talking about sex.
2006-09-04 06:50:16 · answer #3 · answered by sondra j 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Mmm mmm mmm...Soon as that show's over, that man is gonna f*ck that little dog! - Shakes the Clown
Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? - Animal House
And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire... --Office Space
2006-09-04 06:58:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In the movie ATL, when the guys are outside the pizza shop.
This ghetto girl walks by in some tight jeans and long hair carrying a pizza. And Esquire yells, "I wonder what her career path is!" It's fuuuunnnny. I also love Big Boi from Outkast's parts.
2006-09-04 06:55:33 · answer #5 · answered by LiDa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
caddyshack
Sandy MacReedy: I want you to kill every gopher on the course.
Carl Spackler: Correct me if I'm wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key.
Sandy MacReedy: Gophers! You great git! Not golfers! The little brown furry rodents!
Carl Spackler: We can do that. We don't even have to have a reason
THe goonies - " I feel like I'm babysitting but I'm not getting paid "
A league of their own - " theres no crying in baseball "
Sixteen candles : whats happening hot stuff and donger need food.
and so many more
2006-09-04 06:50:08 · answer #6 · answered by wilowdreams 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.
--Airplane--
Rumack: What was it we had for dinner tonight?
Elaine Dickinson: Well, we had a choice of steak or fish.
Rumack: Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna.
--Airplane--
Carl Spackler: This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.
--Caddyshack--
Judge Smails: I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
--Caddyshack--
2006-09-04 06:56:05 · answer #7 · answered by Bruce B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a 2003 UK movie survey, Charlie Croker's (Michael Caine) line, "You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!" was voted the most memorable line in any film. ("The Italian Job")
2006-09-04 07:09:03 · answer #8 · answered by Ian H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One line from a very hilarious script:
"He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy." - Monty Python and the Life of Brian.
2006-09-04 07:54:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Scary movie 3 was packed with good ones, I think:
"We need someting to ram up against the door..... AAGGHHHH my balls!!...ACH! Not those balls! Jesus!...NO!"
"How the hell do you wake up dead?"
"Don't call me dude... I haven't been a stoner since-(mexican jingle)"
"Now who da f*** did dat?!"
"Our satilight picked up what we thought was pooty-tang."
"------ U.F.O's" "Don't spell in front of me, d**n it!"
"I don't know what you're talking about, sometimes a sheep just needs to be pushed through the fence!" "What?!"
I like that movie, but the fourth one didn't do it at all.
2006-09-04 07:05:26 · answer #10 · answered by Polaris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"You will remember this as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow" -pirates of the caribbean
it may not sound funny if you've never seen the movie, but whenever i recall how it was said (the facial expressions and the tone) it makes me laugh =p
2006-09-04 06:50:58 · answer #11 · answered by widtac 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋