We have been together close to 7 years and we each live in our own homes (we each own) and spend 3-4 nights a week together, we are considering moving in together. We are concerned the changes that take place may not all be good ones. The time we spend together now, is truley time spent together ,we wonder if the time together becomes routine rather than special as it now. After 7 years I do feel there is something lacking in our relationship but we both fear that we may loose the special quality we have now, as my boyfriend has said "If it aint broke dont fix it". we have heard from other couples that when you live together they sometimes become "ships passing in the night" are there any other (current or former) 2 household couples out there? and how did it work out?
2006-09-04 06:22:05 · 12 answers · asked by foxyraley 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WE ARE NOT MARRIED AND NEITHER OF US HAVE CHILDREN.
2006-09-04 06:46:08 · update #1
Maybe you should invest in a duplex.....
2006-09-04 06:27:34 · answer #1 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you been "happy" the last 7 yrs? If the answer is "yes" then like your boyfriend says, "if it isn't broke don't fix it!" be "happy" with the 3-4 nights a week, believe me from "experience" it's not the quantity of the time it's the "quality" of time that matters! You feel something is lacking after 7 yrs? Something's missing!? Like a marriage or a live in situation ?I think things aren't the way they "used" to be and you both figure if you were living together instead of seperately it would "seal" the relationship, am I right? If you move in together, it's your insurance policy that the relationship is still working! If there's a change in your relationship you need to "communicate" that between you! A few more days a week of being together isn't going to solve what's lacking in your relationship! If you don't know what's lacking in your relationship now , I think you both need to sit down and work on finding out what it is "before" you go making any changes! Things will "change" if you do decide to move in together, no question! The question is, for the better or worse, and are you willing to "risk" the relationship you have now, living seperately? I'd take "QUALITY" over "QUANTITY" anytime!
2006-09-04 07:02:14 · answer #2 · answered by noditz57 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What you might talk over is the possibility of going together to buy a different home to live in so it will be new and neutral territory, something you have "together". Then you can sell your individual homes and take the tax advantage of being able to make a 250,000 gain and pay no tax thereon. Your jointly owned home will be a new experience for both of you.
2006-09-04 06:47:50 · answer #3 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm very envious....Sounds like a good thing....what's the rush? Don't fix it if it ain't broke!!! It's not about the quantity of time you spend together....it's the quality.
If you two move in....you run the risk of getting into a routine and falling into a rut like most married couples. Don't do it.
2006-09-04 06:40:47 · answer #4 · answered by Tony 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know many couples who live just like you do. It's worked for them just great. Your boyfriend is right....don't fix it if ain't broke. Eventually, you will find when the time is right to move in together. Just leave things they way they are now. It's great to have a place of your own when you just want to be by yourself.
2006-09-04 06:26:47 · answer #5 · answered by margeritaperez 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One of the happiest married couples I ever knew, lived in separate houses, next door to each other. They had kids, and the kids came and went as they pleased, slept at Mom or Dads...it worked beautifully. As for the couple , they have a great marriage, just don't live under the same roof. She told me one day, "I love my husband to death, but don't put us sleeping under the same roof!" LOL. Sure, yours will work! Live close by, visit often!!
2006-09-04 07:08:38 · answer #6 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
SEVEN YEARS? Are you beyond child bearing years? Do you each have issues in your personal lives that are so dark that one could become exposed to the point of separation...suspicious to me...this relationship are you married living this way...or truly fornicating having fun in your sinful state and oblivious to the reality of your actions? Are there children involved in past relations? 40/44 are ages of which one would be quite carefull not to jump into things but hey SEVEN years it is time to get things right out in the open and decisions need to be made! Pray
God will give you the courage to do what is right!
2006-09-04 06:33:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
whats wrong with that? I live in an apartment complex and there is a couple here like that.They both have an apartment. They are in their mid forties. They get along great. (if you are not married you are not really supposed to live together anyway.)
2006-09-04 07:25:44 · answer #8 · answered by gee-geeofmo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For Gods sakes why did you two get married. You both should have stayed single and shacked up 3 to 4 nights per week.
You two are not married as far as the world is concerned.
2006-09-04 06:40:28 · answer #9 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
nicely I even have been in a relationship now for almost 3 years and we live 2.5 hours from one yet another. We do spend weekends mutually and communicate on the telephone nightly. yet through relatives standard jobs and employment we would desire to stay have been we are at modern-day. we are transforming into married next might 20 and after the marriage we are nonetheless going to might desire to stay in diverse cities for a on a similar time as. I earn a extraordinarily stable residing and have been at modern-day job for 17 years and have maximum senority of all my friends. My fiance has pastime in 2 separate little companies and can't go away them at modern-day. I even have tried to talk her into coming to stay in my place of birth as my mom, granddaughters and eldest son stay there. even with the reality that she gets alongside with all of them at modern-day she does not prefer to surrender her place of birth. I even have tried to describe that she might desire to retire for a 365 days of so and shall we take care of on my earnings yet she is particularly pleased along with her profession at modern-day so I admire her for that. My grandparents lived like this for some years and that i've got faith and am confident that our marriage will final in simple terms as stable as theirs did. stable good fortune to you and your considerable different in picking residing preparations.
2016-11-24 21:21:25 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I prefer to be in the same household.
2006-09-04 21:47:41 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋