My husband of 12 years is a alcoholic. I told him to leave a month ago but even after all the lies and abuse and having him rip my heart out and eat it, I'm still worried about him and I'm soooo angry and I need help coping really bad. I live in Podunk and it's hard to find al-anon meetings that aren't miles away, my car barely gets me to work. I have an 11 y/o son that is seeing not only his father being an asshole but his mother going psycho as well. I'm trying to keep myself together for him but this all hurts so bad. Surely there are women out there that can give me advice. Somebody at least tell me everything is going to be ok. I'm so scared and lonely, I have no family close by. I'm 49 and I feel 75. I haven't heard from my husband in 2 days and the thoughts of him dead or in jail or sleeping with some slut are driving me insane. My head is so screwed up. I have nobody to turn to but the frikin internet, is that not sad. I need help seriously. Please.
2006-09-04 05:34:05 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have lived this exact same thing. For 12 years to, all of it and more. I finally realized you can not, can not change another person, but you can change yourself. By now I know you have realized that nothing you are going to do is going to change him. So change yourself. Stop letting his behavior make you go psycho, pull yourself together! Rise above his screwed up world. Make a plan while thing or no so chaotic.Something that insures your peace and your sons peace and well being. In the midst of his bull-****. Put a dollar or two back for those times, Have a bag already packed for emergencies. And keep your goal aimed at you and your son staying calm during this, you already know it is going to happen so that should not be upsetting anymore. Don't try to talk to him or reason since it will not do any good. Save that energy for you and your son. Plus his drunken state and all that comes with it will have you upset. I really know the hell you are living in, and i know you can make it better. I did. It not easy but you can do it, for yourself and your son.
2006-09-04 05:52:13 · answer #1 · answered by dancinintherain 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a library near you, if so you can find books there that Al Anon have published. Here where I live some of the Church's have Al Anon help groups. Try the YWCA if there is one near you. You can also call AA and ask where there are programs in your area. Your husband chose this path and though you worry about him. You need to take care of you and your son. It will be OK if you let him go, the only way there is hope for him is to let him find his own way back. I am an adult child of an alcholic and I know that you can survive this. Allow yourself to have a life seperate from him, his behavior has lead you to the decision that you had to make, getting him out of the house. You are stronger then you think, believe in yourself and your son. Help him to see that there is a better life without alcohol. I will pray for you>>>.
2006-09-04 12:52:27 · answer #2 · answered by roeskats 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to someone at alcholics anynomous..seek some counseling possibly...If your only 49 why waste the rest of your adult like with someone like that. Alcoholism is a disease. He will not change by anything you do or say. Its the sorta thing where he needs to come terms with it on his own. Think of your children what kind of example are you setting for them. Even though its hard to leave someone, maybe think about it for you and your childrens own good. Alcoholics usually need to bottom out on there own to stop. Show him your not going to sit there and just accept it. Because you don't want to live with it. Be strong and be the awesome mom you are. :)
2006-09-04 13:23:20 · answer #3 · answered by KT 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling being there worst my x husband won't admit that he has a problem
for my sanity I used to knee everynight and ask God for help
I beg him to help me walk away and one day out of the bleu I just pack up the kids (3 boys) and get out
Your husband is not your child their is a limit of what you can do for him it seems to me that you have gone over your suty as a wife, now is for you to take care of you and set a good example to your son
Jail time is over you did 12 years don't make it a life sentence
and you son he serve 11 years time for him to be free
to be child with no worried; worried about coming home form school to an unsafe home, worried about his mom
freed him, let him be a child he have so little time left
FREEEEEEEEE AT LAST (TELL YOURSELF THAT )
2006-09-04 14:18:43 · answer #4 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would recomment an Al Anon group for you and your son. They have them where I live. There is a group for the woman, and for several age groups. I would also seek counseling for your son incase this has effected him in ways that you are unable to help. It may save him from developing the same lifestyle.
2006-09-04 12:38:42 · answer #5 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes Al anon is your group. There must be something online? Be glad you at least have the internet. www.ola-is.org
2006-09-04 12:43:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to attend your local AL Anon chapter..they are everywhere..all the answers you want are waiting for you there. Good luck
2006-09-04 12:36:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
check for al anon online. another place to check is Yahoo groups. They have groups for almost topic and I'm sure you can find some support there.
Good luck, dear.
2006-09-04 12:37:03 · answer #8 · answered by island3girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heyn im sorry abt ur situation, but i dont know any website u can use. U seem very concern abt ur husbnd if he's missing or in jail, why dont u call the hospitals, the prison within ur district and see if they can help u.........sorry!
Goodluck finding him too!
2006-09-04 12:50:42 · answer #9 · answered by Miss-Kenya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
alanon I think it's a support group for family members of people like me, but you sound like you need to just leave, it ain't that tough. load up and go to a larger city with a shelter till you get on your feet
2006-09-04 12:37:38 · answer #10 · answered by Michael S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋