I am 19 and I have been with my bf for about 2 and a half years..he doesn't want to use protection and thus I accept it b/c I love him and I don't want to lose him but on the other hand I don't want to get pregnant as I am still at University. Is there a remedy where both of us can enjoy sex but safer, obviously he uses the pull out method otherwise I am during my safe period if he keeps going. Don't suggest condoms or pills b/c he does not feel comfortable with it and he doesn't want me to take any pills as they may damage myself. Are there any other alternatives?
2006-09-04 05:23:52 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
He says if I get pregnant we will take up the responsibility since we have had enjoyed it then if that happens we have to face the consequences...but he works and I dont :S and I believe children are better suited after marriage
2006-09-04 05:35:17 · update #1
Moreover we had a fight around 2 months ago b/c he wants us to have sex during my ovulation as at that time I would be in my peak and we enjoy it more....in the past I used to try to keep calm during my ovulation and try not to have sex during that time but now it is not possible as he does not want me to do that any more...I feel confused
2006-09-04 05:47:02 · update #2
There's a NEW method of safe sex thats JUST been released for young women such as yourselves...its called :
A BOYFRIEND WHO ISNT A F*CKING SELFISH PR*CK AND UNDERSTANDS THE DANGERS OF UNPROTECTED SEX!
2006-09-04 05:28:33 · answer #1 · answered by Jazz 4 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would first make sure that both of you are clean, that is, no STDs. Secondly, I would tell him of your concerns. There are some guys who don't like to use condoms, and that's okay as long as you're monogamous and other methods are used. I would ask him why he's so against you using the pill, which would be my suggestion. Do some research and show it to him. The modern ones are very safe.
And to answer your question, yes there are lots of other alternatives. There are patches and shots, which are basically different delivery methods of the hormones that are used in the pill. Spermicide is an option, but really should be used with some kind of barrier method. You could be fitted for a diaphragm or cervical cap; you would need to see a doctor. You could also be fitted with an IUD, which would need to be inserted by a doctor as well; the good news with that is that once it's in, you can basically forget about it until it needs to be checked.
And while I would definitely have a long talk with your bf about all of this and try to come to a conclusion that you're both okay with, you have to remember that it's your body, and you have to do what's right for you first. If he's really against using anything (and the withdrawal method is far from reliable), than, if I were you, I'd go and get the shot without telling him.
Good luck!
2006-09-04 12:40:50 · answer #2 · answered by aldera22 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey there really isnt at 19. The safest way is condoms and an pill, shot, IUD, the nuvaring. Why not try the nuvaring? its like the pill but you insert it and keep it in for 3 weeks and on the 4th week you remove it for your period? But honestly thats he best way bc you cant try the rhythim however by the time of finals you might stress and throw your cycle off (just an example) and if he LOVES you he would do whats best use protection bc there goes your education. Ima a single 22y.o mother of two children and Im an RN and its very difficult to go to school and be a mother unless you have great family support
2006-09-04 12:28:34 · answer #3 · answered by Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Mom2two Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Listen, if that butt-hole won't wear a condom on his weener then he shouldn't be having sex. It is totally idiotic to NOT use protection and then 'hope' that you dont' get pregnant. Come on! You're an educated young woman..use that brain of yours!
Anyway, You really should make him use a condom. I know you love him, but to say that you don't want to 'lose him' & give him unprotected sex to keep him is really dumb. You're likely to get pregnant. But the only other thing I can suggest is to use spermicial vaginal inserts. They sell them at the drugstore or department stores. They aren't as effective as the pill or condom, but some form of protection is better than nothing at all.
Listen to what these other people are telling you! There are a lot of good answers here. That boyfriend of yours isn't worth having if he won't use protection. GET that EDUCATION first. That's your goal. Don't get me wrong..babies are great, but a LOT of work and time! I didn't have my children until AFTER I was completely done with my education.
2006-09-04 12:34:18 · answer #4 · answered by Pregnant lady 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I have a 6 year old pull out baby! Second of all, he obviously wants to get you pregnant honey!! No condoms or birth control!? It is your body and no man should tell you what to do with it. You either insist on condoms or he doesn't get any, or, you go on the pill. It's not going to harm you. If you are asking a question like this you probably are too immature to be having sex anyway.
2006-09-04 12:30:22 · answer #5 · answered by gemm77 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i want to give you huge lecture here - not only on birth control & sexual diseases, but also on the fact that you need to give yourself a good kick in the @ss & not listen to your boyfriend. does he also tell you when to study, eat & visit the bathroom...? we need a bit of girl power here - you are obviously not studying the history of feminism at university...
anyway, in light of the fact that you WILL sooner or later get pregnant from using the withdrawl method & avoiding your most fertile window i will suggest only that you could consider using spermacide & the diaphram, or a non hormone coil.
personally i would take the pill & not tell him. and i would obviously always use condoms until such times as i wanted a child & only then stop the condoms after you have both has full sexual disease screening.
... it would be interesting to know his views on pregnancy, childbirth & abortion, because, obviously when you get pregnant, you will have him decide upon that for you. lets hope that you manage to finish university.
2006-09-04 12:43:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi, Iam 20 years old. i recentlty just got married. me and my husband have been 2gether for 4 years..but anyways. b4 i met him i had went thru ur same situation...using a condom is the best way NOT to get preg. but there is the patch...but im sure thats just like the pill it can still get u preg. i give you praise for going to school!!! thats awesome.i wish i would have.i think you should use a condom until you get out of school how ever long that is ( and if he really loves you he will wait.) you need to get out of ur schooling FIRST. bcuz if u did get preg. you would probly eventually have to drop out.and lose everything you put in it. having a baby is a big thing. lotsa money too. you need to have insuance..so i really hopes this helps you.email me if you wanna....Robyn
2006-09-04 12:51:51 · answer #7 · answered by robynkendrick_20 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tyrone c said it "abstinence."
and on a personal note: you don't want to have kids this young. and if you have sex without any protection then it is likely you will get pregnant. Also anyone who thinks that time tested medication taken with a doctors supervision is going to change a person is a bit off. what about abortion? how do you feel about it and how does he feel about it? if you don't know then stop having sex unprotected and do some research. have some sense don't have a kid early in life. I was 20 when my first was born. we always struggled and ended up divorced.
2006-09-04 12:39:39 · answer #8 · answered by zedvilla 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are no other ways!! Just don't do it!! I did it w/o protection and i got pregnant!! It's horrible and i'm in my senior year and my senior pictures are me with a big belly!! and just don't do it!! USE PROTECTION!!! If your bf breaks up with you cause you won't have unprotected sex with him than he's not worth it....i know it's hard but you just have to do it that way or you'll get pregnant. I know you're probably thinking that it won't happen to you but it can!! It happened to me!! And make sure you talk to your bf about it cause i'm pregnant with his baby now and we aren't even dating anymore.... :( I'm due in a couple of months and school is starting. It's pretty embarassing to go to school carrying more that just my backpack!! :( I hope this really helped you cause i don't want you to end up like me!! :) good luck and just have a talk with your bf before you do anything!!!
2006-09-04 12:32:37 · answer #9 · answered by VOLLEYBALL ROCKS! 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if this guy really loved you then he would want to protect you.what happens when you break up after 2 yrs and then you start wishing you had used protection. or what happens when you get pregnant and he forces you to have an abortion which can injure your body and soul more than contraception or condoms can. you are only 19 and you are allowed to be selfish for now think only of yourself and your protection when it comes to sex coz when you get that std or preg you will wish you had been more careful. i also was very clever with the withdrawal method but as a result i got pregnant when i wasnt planning to. i love my son to death but i wish i had postponed having him for a bit until i was really prepared to be the best mother coz abortion was never an option for me
2006-09-04 12:33:31 · answer #10 · answered by hieandbye 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if you don't want to be pregnant then you should not keep going on with this method. since you are in a loving relationship you should be able to talk to him and tell him your concerns. if he still doesn't want to use a condom and doesn't want you to use a pill then the only other alternative is abstinence. is he okay with that choice?
2006-09-04 12:48:43 · answer #11 · answered by kiara481 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋