Iam getting married with a guy with whom I am having a relationship for 5yrs.he loves me a lot and does not have any other affair.But he is settled in a different country and we havent met for one and half yrs.though we chat everyday He is very profesional and wold not come back. I cannot leave my country.Even after marriage both of us will be living seperatelypursuing our carrers.We are both financially established.. He may come once in two years to meet me and his parents for a month. I cannot accept this, I also wish to have a normal married life like others.Am I expecting too much?What should I do??
2006-09-04 05:22:58 · 41 answers · asked by fun 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have answered your own question...you and I both know this cannot ever work to any kind of degree...marriage in name only is not only ill-advised, it carries some serious reprocussions that you may have no idea about..legal, and ... illegal if it came to that. Please go no further with this, you have no idea what you may be getting into. The world is full of very strange people, and this does not sound right.
Go about your life, find happiness with someone who sees you everyday. Good luck
2006-09-04 05:35:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The love of a man and a woman should COME FIRST before anything else. I mean if someone is in prison I even have an answer for that, I do believe in conjugal prison systems where the person who is incarcerated can come and live with the other who can not leave, now the "amenity" is not going to be anything more than is deserved.... or worked towards... but back to your basic question.
~ DO NOT PUT MONEY OF CAREER before each other, why can you NOT leave your country? I mean that sounds unfair. Did you do something wrong? Well could teh free world build an army(first using diplomats) to help you, secondly maybe the guy should jsut realize to COME TO YOU.... If you can financially support him there on your end of the stick
2006-09-04 05:29:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is the use of marrying a guy if both of you live in different countries. And what is the use in meeting him once in 2 years? The main purpose of marriage is itself not met. If for both of you career is so much important that both of you must live in different countries then I recommend you not to marry. I am sorry if i hurt you.
Marriage is for living together and finding happiness out of it. Lots of give and takes understandings, forgivings etc go in way. But if you just see once in two years then i dont think there is anything in doing a marriage.
i hope you come to better conclusions.
2006-09-04 21:29:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the point in marrying if it's not what you want. Find some one new. He can be a friend in another country but a husband... I think not.
The other thought is that you don't really know this person. He may not be anything you expect him to be and it is far too easy to put on an act for short periods of time. Your heart is telling you no... listen to it.
2006-09-04 05:29:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right. You can't marry someone and be expected to stay faithful to him if you will only see him every other year. Even though you have been going out with him for 5 years you don't really know him as you see him so infrequently. Why don't you just stay friends, chat on the phone like you are doing but get on with your life. Meet someone else who you can have a proper relationship with as your current one will never work.
2006-09-04 05:27:52 · answer #5 · answered by koolkatt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u should have a serious talk with ur bf and let him know how u feel abt the relationship. Isnt there no way u can leave ur country to be with him? Well, if not then i suppose u both agree to be friends and nothin else becuzz long distance relationship dont work and u deserve someone better!
2006-09-04 06:07:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a very difficult situation for u and has hurt ur feelings alot...
I'm sorry to hear about ur pain from this separation...u have a big heart.
Although, u do care alot about each other and deep inside u already know this...distance does not mean the person can love u less...there are other commitments in ur lives which can use up your energy.
As u are aware, leaving his present career to make another new start will be a very big risk...this can affect ur future..
The important part is u....r u happy to wait for him like this for the rest of ur life...u need to try to understand that if u really love him u should try to make a decision where u can live together..
Have u told him how u feel? U need to be strong and tell him how u feel....if he really cares for u then he will try to make changes....
Does it really matter where u live? If u want to be together then it should not be a problem where u live....
U need to be honest but make sure u think about what u r going to say before talking to him....Talking over the phone is different to speaking to a person face to face...
Think about ur words and rehearse how u want to say them...think about what he may answer and try to share his thoughts to make ur phone call worth while.
People who live together do not necessary be happy....so think about this..
Good luck!!
2006-09-04 05:56:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not get married to this man. Although he can make it sould like hes not having an affair he very well could be. I would break it off, stop having any type of relationship online with men, and look for the man your looking for. Companionship, love, trust, and a family life. You cant get that on the internet.
2006-09-04 05:43:15 · answer #8 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want a normal married life, one of you has to move. One of the reasons for marriage is to share your life with someone - they kind of have to be there for it.
What's the point in being married if you're planning to live in two different countries?
2006-09-04 05:27:07 · answer #9 · answered by Avid 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should forget this guy.. how can there be a marriage when you aren't together? sure, people spend time separated, but, not as long as you are talking about.
find someone close and fall for them and marry them..
if you marry the guy far away, sooner or later, your urges are going to take control and either or both of you will stray..
2006-09-04 05:26:23 · answer #10 · answered by chuckufarley2a 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋