i am prolife but everything changes when its ur life at stake. i just turned at 18 i have a decent job at a bank and wed i start college nights. ihave had the same boyfriend fora year but we still have problems communicating. my boyfriend is only seventeen and is still in highschool once he goes back to t school hes prolly going to be working at typical high school job like mcdonalds. i dont have anyone 's support but his my mom has already kicked me outbefore for stayin out pas 11 what am i going to do with a baby when i dont have an education yet and my bofriend is still ayong im going to mess up his future. i love kids ij ust didnt think id be having one o young. what should i do
2006-09-04 05:16:49 · 36 answers · asked by vane7388 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Please please don't listen to the people who quickly tell you to just "get rid of it" and have an abortion. This is a decision that you will have to live with for the rest of YOUR life. You sound like a responsible person. You have a good job and are going to school and that's great! Take the time to make a responsible decision in this part of your life too. There is a baby growing inside of you....a precious life. He or she is a part of you. Someone mentioned that we don't need anymore kids on welfare...does that mean it's better to take away this child's life? I think not. If you can research programs that can help (daycare, etc) and you can gather up a support system of friends and/or family then I would strongly encourage you to have your baby. Otherwise, please consider adoption. There are so many good families that can't have their own kids that would love the opportunity to have a baby. I know you are probably concerned about who will find out that you are pregnant..but ten years from now when you look back you won't care who knew and how they judged you for it. But you will be proud of the decision you made to give your baby life and an opportunity to live it. Also, you might want to consider telling your mom...you never know, she might be open to your pregnancy. You are 18 now. Present the situation to her in a loving way but also in a way that makes it known that you are an adult trying to make an adult decision and you would love for her to be involved with the baby and youa re asking for her help. Let her know that you are not asking for judgement and criticism but you are asking if she would like to be a part of your life and your baby's life and at the end of the day this is your decision and not anyonelse's.. Good luck to you!
2006-09-04 05:32:48 · answer #1 · answered by kim 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all it is your decision what you should do, here are some of the facts. An abortion is the final solution to your problem, however it comes at a cost, you may wonder for the rest of your life what you terminated. That's a fact. If you choose adoption which I had to, then the results are the same, you'll still wonder and you'll worry about the child even though you gave the child a good home, so there is no easy solution. But I'm so glad I choose adoption because I met my adopted daughter and she was so much more than I had anticipated. She has made so many people happy just by her being who she is. Me included.
2006-09-04 05:29:23 · answer #2 · answered by bprice215 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can't believe some of the uncaring responses people give. first i will say that i am prochoice, but it is totally your decision. And it is a tough life changing decision. If you are prolife, you might want to try to think of how you may feel after it is done, because i have heard that that can stick with you for a lifetime. If you don't believe it would be too hard, their are plenty of families unable to get pregnant that would probably love to give your unborn child a home. And there are people that can help you. there are also counselors you can talk to that can help you make a decision. And situtions like this do change when it's your life. i wish you the best. And you'll make the right decision because it's yours to make.
2006-09-04 05:27:50 · answer #3 · answered by kiara481 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very good question ,this is the thing I told a pro lifer some things happen at wrong times , yes I would get an abortion if I were in your shoes, your without any help and just starting out your boyfriend is way to young to be a dad not alone take care of a baby, I support you all the way . I do think you should tell your boyfriend cause he should know.hope it all works out
2006-09-04 05:26:38 · answer #4 · answered by stefania_n2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only you can decide what is best for your life. If you truly believe that you can't raise this child and give it all you think it deserves, adoption or abortion are your two choices. Whatever you do, you're going to catch hell for it. You had the baby too young, you gave the baby up, you "killed a child".
I personally would take the adoption option, but I also believe that it's no one's decision but the pregnant woman's what to do with her life. The fact that you're asking if it would be wrong probably indicates that you have doubts about having an abortion. It's not your only option, but it IS ultimately your decision.
2006-09-04 05:58:36 · answer #5 · answered by desiderio 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my religion ( Christianity) we feel that you should not kill, and that means weather someone tried to rape you and you want revenge or if you feel that you are not ready to be a parent. Being a mom is going to be a hard job. That baby needs love and care form the both of you but, it your feel that you are unable to give that child the right kind of life than you may want to consider adaption. Giving your child to a loving family that may not be able to have a child could be a unknown blessing waiting for you. My mother had my sister when she was only 17. And many people thought that she should have given her up or even have an abortion, but she held it out and now even though her (my mothers) baby father didn't help in anything, my mother can hang her head high because she raised my sister to become one of the smartest people in North Carolina. She has a masters and is now studying for her PhD. D. in Psychology for low income minority. I'm not saying your child will be any less or more but just try to reconsider having an abortion. please answer me or if you just want to have someone to talk to you can email me at genellenc@yahoo.com
2006-09-04 05:29:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to do what you need to do. You and your boyfriend would not make great parents at your ages and stages, so I would advocate an abortion. I ,too, am pro-life, if it is a healthy,stable life for child and parents. Why bring a child into the world feeling, as you are-- unsure about the right-ness of your decision.? I have worked with many (hundreds) of young, unwed pregnant women and single mothers, and I can say, unequivically, that their whole lives were changed, almost always for the worse, once they gave birth.
Give yourself a chance to grow and bloom before you have a child---and use reliable birth control in the future.
2006-09-04 05:41:08 · answer #7 · answered by mountainmoonbeam 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well you should of not had sex then. Well the problem is hear. If you think you can raise this child, teaching right form wrong, moral and values that sort of thing then yes keep it. Set government assistance and they will help you with all that. If you don't think you can that put it up for adoption. give to someone that can't have kids. Just make sure if you do that then do write a letter to your child telling him why you did it. Have the adoptive parents give it to him or her when the time is right.
2006-09-04 05:23:25 · answer #8 · answered by Lori K 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It really depends on your moral position. If you can live with the choice after then by all means go ahead. If guilt is going to be a major factor then you should have the baby and maybe consider giving it up for adoption. There are plenty of couples out there who'd love to give your baby a loving home.
2006-09-04 05:23:38 · answer #9 · answered by kingston girl 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm not going to tell you what to do because you have a choice, but I will tell you when a friend of mine had an abortion, she had nightmares about it for about a year. She just kept picturing a dead baby in her head. And baby cries, the doctor's said that was normal, because it is a tragedy in your life. If you're not ready to have a baby, then give it up for adoption, and next time have protected sex or no sex at all.
2006-09-04 05:25:23 · answer #10 · answered by denise r 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋