I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and a half. We have had problems communicating ever since our very first fight. He has a temper and I have a hard time dealing with that. He says the best thing to do when he gets hot tempered in a middle of an argument is to leave him alone until he cools off. I have a hard time doing that because I feel like when we have problems we should just face it, deal with it, and move on. My way does not work with him. We both end up getting so angry at each other and we say harsh things that we don't mean. Everytime I bring up something that bothers me his temper shows. I feel like it is so hard to talk to him. I am always so hesitant to talk to him about things that bother me because I don't want to deal with his temper. He always ends up saying that I am too sensitive. He thinks that some of the issues that I bring up are ridiculous. I love him, but sometimes I feel like it should be easier. Is it just me?
2006-09-04 05:08:43 · 4 answers · asked by Lautrec 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The option of moving on is always open to you. But you should check the price you're paying in this relationship. If you think that you can make some more effort, do it. If you see that your patience is running out, get out from there, but plan it thoroughly.
The thing that is indicative for his behaviour is what he told you: "He says the best thing to do when he gets hot tempered in a middle of an argument is to leave him alone until he cools off". This means that he doesn't want to fight with you really, but deep inside he defends his integrity of something that you unpurposly provoke. Making him "cool" is a large project, but it could be interesting if you have the nerves. Basicaly, he needs protection of his identity and integrity, which are quite broken, hidden, or under repair and repeating damaging. I think that your behavior to him would be best advised by a psychiatrist.
Bottom line - its risky "throwing the perls to a pig". However if he is a "spelled pig" and you have the "power and tools" to make him "the prince", use them. Estimate well.
2006-09-04 05:46:41 · answer #1 · answered by Wintermute 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh My God!!! I swear to you not, this is exactly what my bf of 3 1/2 years is going through , Tonight as a matter of fact. I thought that was him playing around with me on these answer things, No, it is not u. He just doesnt want to listen to anything. I used to tell him he was too sensitive, So tell your bf to watch out saying that to you, or u will not be sensitive at all , just like my bf has become. It is the male ego thing, expecially if he isnt a responsible person. Good Luck!!! If u need someone to talk to about this, my email is available , I do believe. or yahoo messenger. oh yeah also I told him since we cant seem to communicate with each other, that I am going to talk with people on line that will talk to me and listen. He didnt like when I said that. If I were you, I would move on , because he isnt gonna change a thing.Bye and good luck
2006-09-04 12:22:18 · answer #2 · answered by Bandice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
communication is important in a relationship, if he has a temper i would not put up with it i would leave because one of these times he will be abusive.you deserve to be with someone that treats you better and will listen without flying off the handle about it.
2006-09-04 12:20:39 · answer #3 · answered by smurfette_ftwayne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah thts wt im gna do too
2006-09-04 12:17:07 · answer #4 · answered by chichi3985s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋