I'm 23 years old and I have a 2 year old son my boyfriend has a 1 year old son he never gets to see. Well any ways monday the 4 of september we found out that I was pregnant and I want to keep it because I have been through 2 D&C before in my life both not by choice. And I'm affriad I will have to go through it again and I really don't want to. But he wants me to and I don't know what to do I love this man to death and he is a wonderful father. He brings up the fact that my son is 2 and he still need to settle things out with his baby mamma so he can see his child and we are not financially stable. But I told him that it is a 9 month period and it is passible we can be stable enough to be ready for this child. No comment came from him. So I'm happy, I'm sad and confuessed i'm nerves and scared what should I do!!
2006-09-04 04:10:46 · 24 answers · asked by Christina G 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Only you can make this choice. Its a personal decision that you have to search deep down to answer. You have a little time to make your mind up. I hope that you can find what you are looking for.
2006-09-04 04:16:28 · answer #1 · answered by Chris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that it is totally up to you what you do. Look inside your heart and choose your instinctive response. You will go through so much heart ache if you go against your own wishes. If your boyfriend gives you a hard time about keeping your baby, then he is not worth it. Money doesn't even come into it. the baby is already here now. The finances are an issue to think about before hand, not now. Another thought. If you have too many D & C's it can affect your chances of getting pregnant again.
You are blessed to be pregnant. I have a 9 y.o son, and I have been trying for 2 years and I still am not preganant yet.
A little story: When I was preganant with my son, I caught rubella (german measles) which is very dangerous as far as birth defects go for the baby. I was only 18 at the time and my doctor at the high risk prgnancy unit told me my baby could be blind, deaf, have a hole in his heart, be mentally retarded or basically have anything wrong with any part of his body. I was put under a lot of pressure to have an abortion and I tell you, I cried and agonised over this decision. My bf wanted me to have the abortion, my doctors wanted me to. My mum supported me in whatever I wanted. I went down the beach one day by myself and sat on a rock, and scratched into it R.I.P Laura Elizabeth because that was what i was going to call it as i thought it was a girl. And I cried and cried. I used to rub my tummy all the time and talk to the baby. I remember vividly rubbing my tummy in the shower one day and I realised I can't do this, I have to keep this baby, I'm already so bonded to it and I'll deal with whatever disability he has.
When my son was born, he was absolutely perfect in every way. the rubella had not affected him at all. And my bf and I broke up 2 years later anyway.
My advice - be happy, keep the baby if that is what you want. If bf is a good man, he will not hold it against you. After all this is over, USE CONTRACEPTION!!!!
Good Luck!
2006-09-04 11:41:04 · answer #2 · answered by NurseKaia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything you will regret. If you want to have this child then have it. If he didn't want to have another child then he should have used protection. This is an innocent child who deserves a chance to live. When the nine months is almost over and you two decide you are still not stable enough to raise the child there is always adoption. Because some people try all the time but can not get pregnant due to medical reasons and the only option for them is to adopt a child so they can be the loving parents they deserve to be.
2006-09-04 11:20:03 · answer #3 · answered by shorty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you already know the answer. just trust your heart its the only thing you can really do. just know that everything happens for a reason and it will make you stronger. i'm 20 years old and my son will be one on sept 13. ive also gone through having a d&c before because i've had two miscarriages and i can understand how hard it is and can understand you not wanting to go through it again. i just wish you the best and you will decide whatever is right for you. as far as it goes for being financially stable its really hard and may never happen my fiance and i have enough money to support ourselves have a home and make sure our son has everything he needs. if you can do that then you can support this baby and there are always programs like wic and such to hlp with the odds and ends. if u ever want to talk its mommyshlee on yahoo u can e-mail me. i wish u all the best and i think you can do it
2006-09-04 11:21:39 · answer #4 · answered by mommyshlee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be fine this time hun. NO pregnancy is the same. I have had a stillborn and a miscarriage and I have had the doctor tell me that I am at high risk of having either again. Yet, you have to look at things this way it is up to god NOT US to say if we will or if we won't. Between now and the time you have the baby that is PLENTY of time for you and your husband to get financially stable. BEST OF WISHES! CONGRATS!
2006-09-04 11:20:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
from your question you already know what you want and thats half the battle won. children are a gift from god an dyou have a son already so you know just how special a child is. i know how difficult the situation you are in is coz i have been there and its easier for us to say follow your heart. however if you decide to abort you are going to have a lot of regrets for therest of your life however if you have it i dont think you are ever going to regret havng this blessing in your life. like you said 9 months is a long time and your boyfriend will have all this time to decide if he is going to stick around or desert his own flesh and blood.i am sure he already feels he has been cheated by not seeing his son and this is his chance to make up for the son he doesnt have . dont abort let this child bless your life
2006-09-04 13:12:26 · answer #6 · answered by hieandbye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
congratulations!
how r u goin to handle the baby if u dont have enough money? u ll not only be depriving it of a good childhood but also the 2 yr old who's goin to have to give up a lot of stuff to accomodate the baby's needs.
do u have a stable plan on how to make more money before the child arrives?
2006-09-04 11:16:56 · answer #7 · answered by angeldust 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your Dr or a professional canceller,If I was in that situation,I know I would continue my pregnancy ,i guess it depends also how you feel about abortions ,also who is more important the baby or your man-you will never regret having this child -I have found a daughter I lost 27 years ago,so life is pretty precious-follow your heart-congratulations by the way,you will be a great mom again,& pray about it the lord still answers prayers
2006-09-04 11:24:39 · answer #8 · answered by eve in eden 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump the man and keep the baby. I am not an anti abortionist but your feelings come first. If you want this child, you should be allowed to have it. He sounds like a selfish, controlling person. Why didn't he use protection if he didn't want a child?
2006-09-04 11:19:34 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have the child if you then feel like you can't handle it or don't want to keep it you can put it up for adoption there are many families that can't concieve children, this would be a blesssing to them. Just don't regret whatever you choose just decide from your heart and don't be selfish.
2006-09-08 10:22:16 · answer #10 · answered by NIKKI 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't do this if you do not want to , you will regret it forever, I don't think 90% of the world is ready financially for a child. It is so sad to hear you have to go through this, It is your body and also your baby, Do what you want I think you know. Good Luck
2006-09-04 11:14:42 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋