I have had a celebant marriage for years.....partly due to my husband's health, partly due to his lack of interest in me physically, although he does love me, and now he seems obsessed with porn movies. We are still quite affectionate, and basically get on well most of the time. But I am feeling cheated and resentful, and fear I will never have physical love again. There is only a couple of guys who have turned my head in 30 years, and the current one is also married, but keeps making eyes at me. He doesn't approach me however....and is very sweet. I am drawn to him like a magnet. There is a chemistry between us that beams from across a crowded room, and we only have eyes for each other. But we do nothing about it. I am finding it harder each time I see him not to say something to try and get into a relationship with him, but I also respect that he is obviously a loyal husband. I am wondering if he perhaps is in the same boat .Desire is very strong. What to do about it?
2006-09-04 04:08:38 · 18 answers · asked by Chatterbox 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Get divorced and start over then
2006-09-04 04:09:59 · answer #1 · answered by Biker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never cheat! Cheating will hurt YOU, your projected partner plus his family and your mate. If you are not satisfied get a divorce. Nothing good can come from what you are purposing. You are not a helpless animal, You are a strong adult female who has full control over her emotional being and body. Take a long look at what you will be giving up before you act. Seek professional help for your marriage. DON"T pick a marred man to do this with because it would be shameful to damage his marriage. Put your sexual feelings on the back burner for a while and think with a clear mind. Don't let your tail run your life use your head instead. Tails can't do much good thinking. Heads are better at thinking than tails..
2006-09-04 04:26:12 · answer #2 · answered by ruthie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, have you tried talking to your husband? You would be surprised at what a difference it could make in you, him and your marriage.
If you are dead set on leaving or cheating, LEAVE! Why live in a marriage that is miserable, and then set yourself up for further disaster? And break your husband's heart in the process? No. And you'll be much more likely to find true love when you are single...alot of people just want an affair, so they are attracted to married people because it's likely to never turn into a committed relationship.
One last thing, it sounds like your husband may be taking drugs or experiencing severe depression...only you can help him.
2006-09-04 04:36:54 · answer #3 · answered by Itz_a_girl_Thing 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Don't ever do it for as long as you are married. And you have no reason to divorce him the fact that he still loves you.
His being unable to have sex with you you say is also because of his health..That is reasonable then..
Now you say, he seems obsessed with porn movies, why not join him and enjoy the show,,, then maybe encourage him to use toys,, so that both of you can still do it..
I'm sure he would not be offended..
Start slowly though because his mind set may not be prepared..So prepare him subly by joining his obsession. I don't seen anything wrong with a husband and wife seeing porn movies together. It gives you better satisfaction..
But for me.. Don't,.
Do not have an affair...Get out of the sight of the man..respect also his marriage.
Even if he is single,, still you have no right to cheat on your husband... Infidelity is an unforgivable crime here in our side of the globe.
2006-09-04 04:19:32 · answer #4 · answered by yulnores 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am in the opposite situation...I have a wife who has no libido....so I can understand your frustrations. First, have you had the "talk" with your husband? Does he have any health issues that prevent his sexual ability? It concerns me that he has gone to porn....have you discussed this with him? Sometimes a guy sets himself up for failure. You don't have to be a "Barbie Doll" wife, but what kind of condition are you in? Men are visual...as dumb as that sounds, we get turned on by what we see and actually hear. Reflect on your past love life with your husband...did you encourage him? I am not trying to say that this is your fault....but sometimes people just get off the "track". There is a program called "marriage encounter" that is done over a weekend to help couples get back in shape. In my wife's and my case we lost a child and it has been difficult......I have felt that if I am patient and kind we will return to normal. That is my dream.....the fact that the grass looks greener is not always the case...good luck
2006-09-04 04:31:51 · answer #5 · answered by Hank 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand ur problem. But U ever heard of lust .Tjhere is a thin line between love and lust .REMEMBER THIS.
Ever thought if u stepped on ur husband's shoes. that is ur health was bad n u were not there for his physical satisfaction, How wud u react to ur husband sharing his bed with someone.This is both a mental and physical trauma .
U want when u r suffering , he should also suffer when he needs u the most .
U cant take every one in ur hitlist along with u whoever keeps an eye on u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THINK OVER IT .
2006-09-04 04:19:43 · answer #6 · answered by dolly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An affair is never the answer. You have already admitted that part of the problem is your husband's health. You took vows, for better or for worse, so why want to bail on him now? Possibly he is watching porn to try and get his body to function. Have you ever tried to watch it with him? Ever try to role play and just try different things to try and get a response? Get some counseling. The grass always seems greener on the other side, but truth be known, if you spend time watering your own grass it can be just as green.
2006-09-04 04:14:59 · answer #7 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are unhappy in a marriage, try to communicate with your husband about the problems and try to work them out. If that doesn't work and he doesn't want to continue the relationship, you need to consider what is best for you. Consider leaving, but please DON'T CHEAT. As the victim of a cheating spouse its a killer and can cause nothing but pain to you, because of guilt, and him because of what you did to him.
After my first marriage dissolved I didn't think I'd ever find love again, but I did. And he is the most caring, loving person on earth. There is purpose for everything that happens. Check out your options.
2006-09-04 04:19:03 · answer #8 · answered by frecklzface 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your not getting the sex at home get it elsewhere. he's watching porn and don't want sex! he has a problem. I would leave . but you don't know about the married guy if he is a loyal husband you need to let him be. and you don't want a psyco wife after you. there is a million other guys out there some that will treat you right. you will find physcal love again.it takes time.
2006-09-04 04:24:06 · answer #9 · answered by smurfette_ftwayne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of having an affair or leaving you should get counseling as a couple. Affairs can leave you satisfied for an instant, but later you feel lonelier. If you still love him maybe your marriage can be saved.
Good luck
2006-09-04 04:25:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not happy leave divorce then do your thing ,I was cheated on and it hurts ,and trust me what goes around comes around ,leave the married man alone !!!dont mess his family up a girl did this to me and I hate her for it but I still have my hubby ,she was just a fling for him .If he is unhappy he to should leave then you both be together ,But dont be unfaithful ,but the porn all the time would bother me to .so hon move on if you are not happy ,but do it right get a divorce then see what happens withthe other man dont hurt his family ok .be a god woman set a good example for the one you seem to like he will respect you more .good luck be happy .
2006-09-04 04:15:18 · answer #11 · answered by Holly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋