friends and family about what really happend to try and protect us and keep them from being friends with their family. Now I wonder if it would have been better to tell the truth because people are still associating with him anyway. He is very manipulative and I feel he will work his way back over to our friends in the neighborhood. I know he did not do them any wrong so I cannot expect them to not at least be friendly. I feel like telling everyone the truth. I am so confused right now and really am struggling with what to do. We are in counseling and are using our faith but I am still struggling, have not had a chance to really deal with this the way I feel I need too I guess.
2006-09-04 03:01:57 · 17 answers · asked by needhelpnow 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The fact that this guy lives in the neighborhood makes it very hard. Our kids also go to the same school and sometime this guy shows up when he knows my husband will be around. He is very manipulative and knows how to hurt me or try to get under my skin. I believe he has also involved his kids in this in them coming up to me and asking if they were still their friend (the child that is). They of course have no clue. I also see how he is working his way around the neighborhood and possibly working on a new victim. He has always portrayed himself as a wonderful family man, good father, etc. and I know the truth. I feel sick when I see him and I hate myself for this. How do I not let this all bother me? I have not told anyone else the truth and was thinking that not having someone else to talk to about this besides my husband of course may be hurting me also.
2006-09-04 03:17:02 · update #1
I need to correct the fact above. He shows up at the school when he knows my husband will NOT be around.
2006-09-04 03:18:29 · update #2
I was the one who told my husband. He did confront me. I told him the truth and we have been very honest with each other about feelings and such. This guy stopped me from telling many times when I wanted to tell my husband and even when I told him that I had told my husband he said he would never tell his wife but of course he had no choice. However, he has had an affair before and his wife is just the type to look away and just go about her business and act like nothing happened. She is like a robot. I even apologized to her for this and thought her husband might be man enough to apologize to my husband but that was wrong to even think that.
2006-09-04 03:33:17 · update #3
Right now you need to focus on your relationship with your husband and not what is going on with the person you cheated on. I fully agree that you need to keep your distance from him but at the same point ... the only relationship that really matters is the one you are married to. In addition, sometimes when you tell others about infidelity, they can add to your current problems already.
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-04 03:05:03 · answer #1 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Forgive. Forget. Move on. Have fun.
Forgive yourself, forgive him, it's not a competition, it's just life.
Don't get imprisoned by guilt, do what you know will make you free of it. It's tought to swallow pride, but the only thing you lose are the bitter bars of resentment. If someone else is feeling trapped and is fighting, that does not mean you need be be dragged down. You did what you did, but hey, it's better to get your toes stepped on than to miss the dance. Now let your toes heal up, and keep dancing! Congratulations, you survived! :) :)
2006-09-04 22:49:25 · answer #2 · answered by Just David 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
an affair is a two way street no matter how manipulative he is, that is a street i can tell u abt. he has done nothing wrong to any one else so u cannot stop him from being friends with any one. u protect ur heart b4 it deceives u again and u fall in his trap again. u keep away from him!!!!!!!!!!!
u believe in God so pray to him for the strenght to resist temptation. and be as good a wife to ur husband as u can. u r lucky he is still with u.
u cannot control any one else. just control ur feeling and try to meditate on ur family.
best of luck May God bless u and ur heart. ( u will need it trust me)
2006-09-04 10:09:00 · answer #3 · answered by in ur face 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Focus on yourself first. Don't be consumed by jeolousy or revenge with this other man. Let him live his life. You need to focus on saving your own through focusing on repairing your relationship with your husband and with your God.
Think about the additional damage you could do by telling everyone. Do you really want to bring potebtial humiliation and embarassment to your Husband? If you are trying to save your marriage, take responsibility for what you have done and let the other man deal with his guilt and sin on his own terms.
2006-09-04 10:09:29 · answer #4 · answered by Matthew L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best Policy. Tell your husband the truth. If you are not satisfied with your husband he will gladly allow you to have affair with the guy. You can even go for three-some.If that guy is married then you and your husband can talk to him and his wife for wife swapping sessions.
2006-09-04 10:06:26 · answer #5 · answered by a j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know in your heart what is the right thing to do.
For you to move on, you need to own what happened and take responsibility. The important thing to focus on is your marriage; you both need to discuss your options and work together.
It might not be in the best interests of the 'guy' to discuss this with anyone in the neighborhood, anyway. Good luck
2006-09-04 10:14:44 · answer #6 · answered by GRAHAM K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you, and your husband, are comfortable with what happened, and are working to resolve the problems, don't be concerned with what the neighbors think or say. You might be the "talk" right now, but just hold your head up high and continue on with your life. It's none of their business....besides, they have issues themselves. Don't let it bother you!
2006-09-04 10:11:23 · answer #7 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel guilty about lying, as I'm assuming you have a conscience, talk with this openly with your counselor with your husband. He can't get upset with you for trying to make things good by honesty, which I believe is ALWAYS the best policy.
2006-09-04 10:05:06 · answer #8 · answered by Shining Ray of Light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put all your attention, in your relationship with your husband.Forget about the other man.Forget what people will think or say.But honesty and true is the key to solve many problems in life.If you need to say the true and that help,do it.If that is not helping,do not say nothing;and focus your energy in your marriage.Good luck.
2006-09-04 10:14:31 · answer #9 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r lucky 2 have such a husband... Treasure him... Next time dun let him down... Alwayz remember that truth is the best way to earn some1's trust....
2006-09-05 04:41:25 · answer #10 · answered by Rina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋