Thanks for the answers
2006-09-04 02:57:24 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
There is no hurt but the pain you feel, there is no beauty but the loveliness you appreciate. There is no yumminess but the sweets you taste, there is no reaction unless you choose to react. Those who hurt us most do it for two reasons;
1 They are most comfortable with us and so can open up even their dark side to us and inflict pain.
2. We are no enamoured of their approaches that even the slightest flick castes us into an abyss of pain. But we CHOOSE to feel hurt you know. If someone on the street does it then we pass it off, if a loved one does it we feel less, we feel like we've given our heart and dignity away to become an emotional punching bag. But this is in our mind. We can walk away from these people if they continue to hurt us or forgive them if they have good reason to do it once or so.
Choice-power is in choice. Its such a pity we dont allow ourselves to live free though.
2006-09-05 11:21:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 3⤋
I'm not winning a best answer here, but it stands to reason that those who love you most will be most affected by the things you say or do and if that's negative then they will be the most hurt. So, unless everyone views as perfect (which is impossible) you're bound to hurt thoe ones you love the most
2006-09-04 11:03:55 · answer #2 · answered by Dan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because we can ... lmao
I had to come back... I was being a mischievous imp...
For me Carl Jung was the only "responsible" modern psychologist .. his body of work is something anyone can utilise for selfpsychology .. instead of a crutch and dependency of a (master-disciple)relationship that most psychoanalytics is...
But an attempted distillation here .. those we love and that are around us .. are the most convenient and available "soundingboards" .. for projecting dramas, etc .. that either have to do with unresolved imbalances.. or even new archetypal octaves we are striving to grow towards ...
Often sadly this is just life .. the ones we love around us can simply become "authored" into these psychodramas more or less, often with no culpa ...
Studying self and working on self are the only methodology I know of to ameliorate these cycles ... When one does this .. the world will appear a giant sad soap opera .. lol
2006-09-04 21:49:59 · answer #3 · answered by gmonkai 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
When we are in love with somebody, we are more emotionally invested in what they say or do. Joe Blow whom we don't know, could call us a name and it wouldn't mean much. If the one we love called us a name, then it hurts like crazy.
When we are in love, for real, we do not seek to hurt our love, but sometimes it happens. We have to remember always, that they deserve the benefit of the doubt, and though sometimes things come out all wrong, they deserve a chance to set us straight. We have to remember always, that perception does not equal intent, and to ask before we react emotionally.
When we spend lots of time around someone, we start to think that our lover knows us so well, that they should "just know" what out intent is/was, as if they are psychic. We have to always remember, to back up and clarify our intent, especially when their perception is different.
We also have to remember that everyone's feelings are legitimate, even if we don't like or agree, or understand them. We should never tell our partner that they shouldn't feel a certain way, but rather find out why they feel that way. We should always respect and accept thier feelings.
We should always remember to have empathy.
2006-09-04 11:59:59 · answer #4 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, because they're in the way more often than other people for one thing. In another respect, your question is something of a tautology. We don't hurt the people we don't love because we don't have the means to.
"Hey, petrol attendant guy, I slept with my secretary" -- he'll probably give you a thumbs up. Not so when you tell the wife, who naturally will be devastated.
We do it becuase we're weak, stupid animals, and because we refuse to love what we have, and would rather love what we don't have.
2006-09-04 10:06:25 · answer #5 · answered by corpuscollossus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It may not be that we actually hurt the ones we love most. It may be that the ones we love most allow themselves to get hurt most deeply.
People who are closest to us take such opinions we have more seriously.
For example, if someone you don't know criticized you, it wouldn't be as devastating as having it come from your parents, siblings, or loved ones. It means more.
So when it comes to whatever decisions we make, we're more likely to hurt those who are closest to us because they're closer to the Emotional Blast Radius.
2006-09-08 05:25:08 · answer #6 · answered by Link of Hyrule 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because deep inside we are insecure about the person we love the most and we didn't even know that. In this insecurity we try our best to keep that person in our self created limited boundaries and expect them not to go far by crossing these boundaries and hence reduce their free space and this inturn hurt that person although we thought we were only loving them....How and when we hurt them?
2006-09-04 10:16:56 · answer #7 · answered by Kwel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We hurt the ones we love most because we feel safe to do so around them.If you met a stranger and you where to bark at them,you might not get the same reaction you get with a loved one.
I feel its because you are comfortable with them,and you know what buttons to press.Not that you totally mean to hurt them but some times" When you spare the Rod you Spoil the child"
2006-09-04 10:07:40 · answer #8 · answered by louryuzzi 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hi, Lola,
It hurts more, when someone you love is mean to you...If someone you love says something out of line.. it hurts you more to hear them say it then to hear some normal person say it to you.... Love only hurts, cause you care more about the tiny things the people you love do to make you upset or angry.... Love also hurts when you hurt the person you love.... If you're the one saying horrible stuff to the person you love it hurts you too...
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If you have an argument with a stranger, you won't feel as hurt ..as if you have an argument with someone you love or admire.... So loving someone simply give them the ability to hurt you deeply....
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Thanks, for the question!;)
My regards!
2006-09-06 23:09:46 · answer #9 · answered by Kimberly 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
In my somewhat limited experience I would say that over time you will occasionally hurt your friends and family just because you spend so much time with them that avoiding those words, or that action that will cause unintended hurt is impossible.
There will also be the occasional situation where you will have to hurt someone you love to prevent them coming to greater harm later on. e.g. telling of a child for playing near a fire.
2006-09-04 11:02:38 · answer #10 · answered by silondan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋