In the past I have found (by going in his e-mail) that my boyfriend has answered ads on craigslist (we were looking for a roommate) to scammers in a sexual tone to scare them off. I approached him and he explained it to me as innocint, then we had to discuss the subject of me going in his e-mail. Since then, I haven't - we're not engaged. Something came over me and I went in his e-mail again. Now I found him answering a sexual craigslist ad and talking back and forth a few times. He even sent a picture of himself. It really makes me think about our relationship. But I don't know how to bring it up to him since I only know of this because I read it in his personal e-mail that I "broke into". I know looking into his e-mail was not right and very untrusting, but I don't think that my fiance should be talking with some woman about offering "services" or hooking up and sending pictures of himself. I don't know how to approach him on this... or even should I? Any suggestions?
2006-09-04 02:37:44 · 29 answers · asked by c181A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The way I look at it, something made you suspicious enough to feel you needed to invade his privacy. When you do bring it up, expect him to lie and try to turn the tables on you. That's what he did the first time. He made you feel guilty for looking....he made you the bad guy. If he had nothing to hide then or now it would not have mattered, you seeing his email. Especially if you are engaged. Trust is one thing, but he is the one that broke that trust. It's a hard thing to say "rethink your relationship" because love is blind and we all think we can change people and it will get better. The likely hood of it getting better is slim. The reality is that he is most likely cheating either physical but definitely mentally. Just remember, when you confront him, every time he tries to ask why you looked remind him that doesn't matter, what matters is what you found.
Here's a tip. If you can create a another email he does not know about, try writing to him. See if he acts as if he is single, wants to meet. Just remember, the results will probably not be pretty and the best advice would be to hold off on any marriage since at this time it is heading for divorce.
I wish you the best.
2006-09-04 07:39:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you define as cheating that shoud be the first question and if u feel talking other unknown women on the net is cheating then why the hell are u still with him?
I mean sister to you want to read those pityfull self help books like He Is Just Not That Into You before u get it. Chill, and bring it up in an off like what do you think of internet dating and where his boundries are in cheating. That is where you will get your answer. Okay Sista
2006-09-04 02:45:33 · answer #2 · answered by Tumi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that you remove your engagment ring, and give it back to the guy. Or, marry him- and then prepare yourself for your divorce after you catch him cheating a few times. When you send pics to a person you are flirting on-line with; you ain't commited to a different person. You know it. Why haven't you already broken up with him? Do somehow believe he ISN'T playing around- at LEAST, on-line. Are you telling yourself that, yes, he might flirt, but would never actually cheat? If so, You may be interested in buying this real nice bridge I've got to sell. It's in Brooklyn.
2006-09-04 03:00:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Count your blessings that you found out he is a cheater BEFORE you married, had kids etc. Even if it is still in the e-mail only stage - it won't be long before he follows through with the act. His actions show he is certainly not ready for a commitment and your actions show you don't trust him as you should. Those two things together spell doom for this relationship. Move on and find someone you can trust and who will not be seeking sexual stimulation outside your relationship.
2006-09-04 02:43:38 · answer #4 · answered by arkiemom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
End this relationship now or you will be sorry.
Obviously he is not happy enough with just you in his life,he needs other woman to satisfy his sexual desires and needs.
Take the ring and leave it on his computer laptop table with a note attached to it telling him that you know all about his addiction and that he needs help,and that if he ever wants you to wear his ring again..he needs to get counsleing and help.
Don't go down that road,.leave him the sooner the better before it is too late.
2006-09-04 02:42:50 · answer #5 · answered by Dfirefox 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through that same situation just a couple of weeks ago with my husband of 7 years and he said to me that it was harmless playing but, the truth is if it was playing he wouldn't have to cover it from me and besides they were even going to talk on the phone, i was going to wait to see what he was going to say about me because the girl ask him if he was with somebody, but i felt so betrayed that i had to say something to him, i just had a baby 3 months ago with him and he did this to me now i know that he is capable of cheating, something i never thought about before, trust me, eventually no matter what he says to you he will cheat, don't feel bad that you went through his email because then you will be gving him an excuse to turn the page on you and if he talks about trust tell him that obviously he is the one who can't be trust, you gotta stand up to this before you find yourself answering calls from another woman telling you to follow him. I put everything clear on the table and the only reason why i didn't leave was because of my son but he knows that i have my independent and i will just leave his *** if i feel like it.
2006-09-04 02:51:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion is to leave the guy. Mistrust now in a relationship, means more to come. tell him you are leaving him, and then move on with your life. Find someone you can trust.
Find out what type of adds he is answering, and which category he is doing it in, and leave one yourself, anonymously, to see if he bites. then you can leave him, without admitting to go into his emails. LOL It might be fun too.
2006-09-04 02:42:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wot u cud do if ur feelin devious, is go on 2 this website nd pose as sum1 else, like use a fake picture. then c how far ur b/f wud go. arrange a meeting, then b there when he turns up!! if he doesnt wanna meet "u" or doesnt turn up then u no u can trust him. if he does want 2 c u then u can confront him there nd then. bullseye!!
2006-09-04 02:42:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there's no easy way to approach this without telling him you invaded his privacy. If you do decide to confront him, don't do it aggressively. If you put him on the defensive, it'll freak him out and he'll start accusing you, and it'll be a big nasty mess. I would say ignore it- put it out of your mind until you catch him in the act of writing one of these emails, or until he accuses you of something.
2006-09-04 02:42:10 · answer #9 · answered by JP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send me a sexual e mail to get even with him
bad_bob_69@yahoo.com
2006-09-04 03:21:02 · answer #10 · answered by bad_bob_69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋