am i being tooo strict on my kid??

Question

my girl is 13..last night i got up at 2 am and her n the girl satyin over were outside talking to a lil group of boys..1 bein the kid she calls her b/f..i dont like her having a b/f yet but seems she will say he is..well i grounded her for 2 weeks n she will have no phone privilges(length of this depends on her attitude)..now she is saying i am blowing this outta proportion n im too strict...i am an older mom..not in my 20 r 30`s like most her friends moms n she says in too old school...would like any kinda feedback....ty!!!! o btw im 47

Answer 1

Maybe, but probably not. Have you discussed sex and maturity and realistic goals with her? I tried to set a timetable for my five girls, and I tried to stick to it. It was to help them to learn to make decisions because I couldn't always be there to bail them out if they made a bad one. They thought I was an old fogy who didn't understand the world or youngsters either. At 13, they could go out only in mixed groups of four or more, and a parent had to be close by (in the same mall, etc) but not in the group. At 16, they could date singly, at 18, they could do what they wanted, but if it offended my sense of good/evil, I could kick them out, withdraw support, etc because they were adults. You probably ought to give her a reasonable curfew, tell her groups only, and tell her that if her grades slip, it all goes away. And emphasize how much you care for her, not your reputation. Good luck, she's on the brink of adulthood and needs guidance and support. And she's still listening to you, so you're probably doing OK.

Answer 2

Personally i think your taking it to lightly! your right at 13 she shouldn't have a bf. Not saying I didn't but it wasn't to the full extent of a bf. I wouldn't see them outside of school no touching or kissing involved so technically it wasn't a bf at 13 lol. Anywasy Im 22 and have a 5 y.o and Im totally dreading this! had it been at 7pm and the boys were there then the punishment would have been ok but at 2am! she must have purposely waited for you to be sound asleep! i personally would have called the cops and pretended to be a neighbor and had the boys and the other girl taken into custody and had their parents picked them up including your daughter! BC those boys parents must have been asleep as well and they snuck out. I would lock her window and or put an alarm on the doors and windows. BC this is how it starts and I'm telling you from a daughters point of view I was there not so long ago!

Answer 3

I remember getting grounded for a month for doing the same thing. The thing is, I was 16!!!!. Your age has NOTHING to do with it. My mom had me when she was 18 and was strict. I don't think you're being strict at all. For 1, what gives a 13 year old the right to date when her mother says no and 2. what business does a 13 year old have being out at 2 in the morning?

edit-Don't want you to get the wrong idea. I moved out of my mom's and in with my fiance when I was 17, then got pregnant with my first child. A lot of people tend to take it the wrong way when I say 20 with 2....lol

Answer 4

I am also an older mom. You are definately NOT being to strict. What in the world was she doing outside at 2 am? OMG the things that could have happened to her and you wouldn't have even known! That is so scary. She was putting herself in harms way and as the parent it is up to you to protect her from things she doesn't know about or realize yet in life. Being 13 she certainly doesn't know the consequences of being outside at 2 in the morning. I'm not just talking pregnancy, I'm talking drunks coming home at 2 am - what a perfect time to grab some child who is standing out on the street...other possibilities too. Children think they are mature enough to handle any situation but as adults we know they are not. No honey you are not being too strict, you are being a GOOD MOM. Kudos to you. Keep up the good work!

Answer 5

I would saya week would have done good but thats me. I dont think you blew it out of proportion. Tell her she can earn her days back. Let her know why and have "girl time"while she is grounded. the tow of you can watch a scary movie, do eachothers makeup, that kind of thing so she knows you are serious about the grounding and phone but that you still love her and want to psend good times with her 2. THis will make her think about making different decisions. ( this is a great wayt o talk out some things without being to serous, drop hints, tell stories of when you were growing up)...Good Luck...

Kids these days are alot different then I was ( I'm 34) SO I know what you mean. They are too grown for their own good...I have an 8 rd old boy and I will knock him sily if I found out he was seeing a girl in the middle of the night at 13...I'm on your side...LOL

Answer 6

You were being reasonable my mother would not allow me outside at 2am talking to group of boys. She wouldn't allow me to be out that late talking to my boyfriend and I am 14. My mom would have got me and the girl that was with me and made me come in the house. My mom is 35 and she would have done the same thing because my grandmother is 62 and she would do the same thing to my mom. You are teaching your daughter things that one day she is going to remember and teach her child. I don't think that you are old school because you don't know what could have happened outside and your are protection your daughter because she is young and she still has a lot to learn. You set the rules in your house and you set the tone and later in life she will thank you and say I'm glad my mom had those rules because I could have gotten into something bad and not ever know it.

Answer 7

No. you are not being too strict. She is 13 and had no business even being up at 2am, and at that time of morning, outside talking to boys, whether her b/f or not is not a good thing. I have a 14 hear old boy and I did exactly the same thing when I caught him outside talking to a girl at that time of night--that late and opposite sexes are not a good mix for young adults by no means--why put temptation into the mix?? We have an obligation to teach our children to behave in a proper manner... Way to go Mom

Answer 8

Okay- first off, if she wants to have a bf, all you can do is make sure that the guy will respect her. However, you have every right (and the responsibility) as her parent to do everything you can to keep her safe. Yeah, she's going to say you're blowing it out of proportion- but she's a teenager. She needs to get the message that hanging around with boys at 2 am looks very suspicious. By the looks of it, her calling you strict is backtalk- if she lived in Zimbabwe, she'd be beaten for being awake at 12 midnight, much less talking to boys at 2 am. Go with your gut feeling- I think you're doing great. The world needs more good moms.

Answer 9

13 year old girl should not be outside at 2 am.
as for the boyfriend thing that is all in how mature she acts.
i love the attitude depends on how long her punishment is can you hear yourself. of course she is gonna have an attitude.
you aren't gonna stop her from having a boyfriend, you should accept this group dating is prob the best way to go or they have to hang out at the house.taking away her phone ouch did school just start, that's a harsh time not to be able to communicate.so yes you did overreact but now as bad as she thinks you did.hope this helps!

Answer 10

NO you are NOT being too strict.
I am 16 years old and when I got into middle school and all the other girls were dating and going out late, I had a curfrew of 10pm and no boys. I protested and threw fits as I got grounded with no computer, tv or parties, but I am thankful for it now. Your daughter will grow older and see that what you are doing is shaping her into a responsible person.
Now a junior in high school, having respected my mother's wishes (single mom too) I reap the rewards.
As for my friends that wished to fastrack their lives?
Two have had abortions and the other is married with a baby and another on the way. I found people like myself to associate with as the old crowd turned to sex, drugs and alcohol and I'm fine with it. Now.
Good Luck!
:) Adelaide