Asking this question again b/c I closed the earlier question without wanting to do it.Anyway, thank you all very much for all the answers,that really helped a lot so far! I could give a litlle more details tough:I've been working in India for 3 months in an university, where I met him as he is complting his PhD.His parents are traditional hindous and are not very happy about my wish to have a christian wedding (I agreed for the hindou wedding).I don't feel very comfortable going against his parents but I don't want to marry outside church.What do you think of that? The other question is, coming from a culture where my dad did as much as my mom in the house, will I be able to cope with house chores all by myself?Do you just get used to it?Plus he's planning to do post Doc in Australia which means we won't see each other for two years:is that an obstacle for an Indian who has commited himself in such relationship according to "Indian standards"?Is it frequent?Thanks for all the help!
2006-09-04 01:54:06 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have a suspicion you are going to have a horrible marriage because of the culture differences. You may want to think seriously about weather you want to be in a relationship where the wishes of his parents take precedence over yours. Do you REALLY want to live with all the traditions of someone else's culture?
2006-09-04 02:05:07 · answer #1 · answered by asbratcher 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hi,
The best answer which i see is you get married in both the traditions...marry with hindu customs and then goto a church and exchange wedding rings...thats how a couple got married next to my home(both are indians though!!)...
Of course you will be able to cope with the house chores...all the women do it the same way over here why cant you??..you have your mother-in-law to help you out as well!!
Many Indians are working abroad leaving there family behind in India...so its obviously not against Indian Standards...so you dont have to worry about that too!!
Wish you a happy married life!! All the best :)
2006-09-04 09:10:31 · answer #2 · answered by Harish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel as lost in traditions, first.
Marriage can be regularised in both ways, provided you have the liking to do both in Hindu and Church manner.
Your thinking of not feeling comfortable going against his parents is the best in you and with that attitude you'll not have any problem related with that aspect.
Coping up with the house chores all by yourself is not the situation going to be with you since your in-law will be there to guide you and help you, which is our Indian tradition irrespective of the caste, creed of geographical nature.
Under Indian standards, there is no harm in you living here in India with your hubby away in Australia, but it is not mandatory that you will not see each other during this period. You can very well go to him on a vacation as well he can also.
All the best for a happy married life of cultural integration!
2006-09-12 06:59:48 · answer #3 · answered by mkm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! I think u should marry both ways- Hindu wedding and in Church. About the household chores i think you can split it with him and when he goes to Australia u can always ask your mother-in-law to help. And a lot of Indians work or go to study abroad so i dont think it will be an obstacle. However, i feel you should discuss all your doubts with him. After all getting married is a big decision!! All the best!!
2006-09-10 14:03:09 · answer #4 · answered by MM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! I think u should marry both ways- Hindu wedding and in Church. About the household chores i think you can split it with him and when he goes to Australia u can always ask your mother-in-law to help. And a lot of Indians work or go to study abroad so i dont think it will be an obstacle. However, i feel you should discuss all your doubts with him. After all getting married is a big decision!! All the best!!
2006-09-09 03:03:27 · answer #5 · answered by pranky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to talk to him about all of this. There is no set way when it comes to Indians - some families are more modern and others can be very backwards. The last thing you want is to end up in a backwards home with a pyscho mother in law. Sit down and talk to move before you move any further into your plans.
2006-09-11 12:11:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
love has no barriers, it teaches us everything,, according to indian tradition it is like this the daughter-in-law does all the work but the world has changed and modern thinking is there, do what your heart says , don;t take decision in haste or for the sake of it, you have got your own country and some eligible bachelors there ... act what you feel right.
2006-09-04 12:59:43 · answer #7 · answered by dil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can really work threw difference with your love if you try .Quit being caught up in tradition if you both are from different background just unite them and love each other. All it takes is Love ,respect and things will fit into place.
2006-09-11 00:24:41 · answer #8 · answered by marrissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Which religion will your kids be raised in? Are you willing to convert to Hindu? Why marry someone only to be gone from them for 2 years? You have many questions to ask of him and yourself before you commit to marriage.
2006-09-09 17:09:19 · answer #9 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you are being used and will be abandoned when he decides it is time for an Indian wife. come on you only knew him for 3 months. This marriage is doomed
2006-09-11 18:54:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋