We have been married for the past 10 yrs and have 2 kids. For yrs we donot speak or have any intimate relationship. He does not support me & my kids finacially either, even for their school fees. I am not sure what to decide or what he has in his mind.
I am also human and want to be loved and cared. But nowadays I stopped thinking about it. And happy with my kids Slowly I started falling for my boss, and want him. Though my boss knows I have a soft conner for him he does not show it. I am not sure wether he is interested in me or not? And what I am doing is right or worng. Shall I change my job so that I won't see him. Plz advice.
2006-09-04 00:35:35 · 37 answers · asked by rr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
U obviously have only 2 choices. Stay or leave and make sure u are leaving him for the right reasons, not because u are falling for your boss, but because u know for damn sure there is no hope of ever salvaging your marriage. I agree with some responders, do not stay for the kids.
If your boss knows u are married then he's probably doing the right thing by not getting involved with u so u need to back off of him yourself and decide if u will work on this marriage or not because u are the only one who can answer that. Don't entertain thoughts about your boss until u are divorced from your husband. Change your job location only if u decide to stay in the marriage and work things out.
2006-09-04 00:57:32 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave your sorry *** husband. It would be a lot better if the kids saw you happy. What are you really teaching them. To stay in a loveless marriage. To give up on yourself and your own dreams. That bastard should be paying you child support to take care of your kids.
Sorry I don't mean to sound so mean but it is true. Take a look at your life and see what is missing. See what is wrong and change it. You don't deserve this. Nobody does. He probably cheats on you all the time if you are not sleeping with him. He doesn't care anymore. In the long run your children will be better people if you leave him.
As for your boss well I wouldn't change jobs. As long as he doesn't pursue you right now then I wouldn't worry about it. You really need to do some long and hard thinking before you have an affair. That could be the worst thing you ever did. Your boss could be waiting on you to get a divorce before he makes his move.
But all in all for the children's sakes leave your husband. Let your destiny fall where it should. It obviously wasn't meant to be with this jerk you are with.
2006-09-04 00:41:06 · answer #2 · answered by Erica 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HI... I know what you are going through. First of all to be a father doesnt mean just giving a part of themselves to produce kids. Together with the father word is the word responsibility. If he loves you and your children then he should do his part and be responsible. His way of showing how much he loves you is by fulfilling his obligations.You both have drifted apart. Marriage counselling would be a good choice if both of you want to work it out but the way I see it he doesnt seem interested anymore. You should give your self a chance at happiness.
As for your boss, you didnt say if he is single. But even if he is, you aren't. You will be hurting yourself more and your children if you have an affair. And if he is married, then you are just becoming desperate and would make your life more complicated.
2006-09-04 02:46:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first thing......if you are not happy in your current relationship you need to either address the issues or get out of the relationship, you say that maybe you should stay for the sake of your kids, news flash, kids can sense unhappiness and sometimes they are unhappy in the unhappy relationship.
So don't use your kids as an excuse to stay, lots of kids grow up just fine when there parents are not together as long as they have a nurturing and caring environment in which to live.
About the boss thing, wow, if you are or have fallen for your boss, depending on how close you work together you may need to seek other employment. Work place relationships seldomly work out. But if you think its the real thing, then go for it. Just keep in mind that if it doesn't work out, what an arkward situation to work in.
2006-09-04 02:07:36 · answer #4 · answered by Monie D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Which is the question, should u divorce your husband and pursue a relationship with your boss? Most definitely, the husband is a no show, why would u want to stick with him. If u say it is 4 the sake of ur kids then don't u think in time they will grow up to think it is normal for a husband and a wife not to care or love each other.
2006-09-04 00:43:55 · answer #5 · answered by Nthape 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried marital counseling? I'd give that a shot first, just to see if your marriage can be saved. If it doesn't work out, or if your husband refuses to try to save the marriage, that's the green light to get going. Staying with someone "for the sake of the kids" is usually more harmful than good. Kids can pick up on underlying feelings of those around them, you know. It's better for them to see happy separate parents than miserable together parents in my opinion.
As for your boss, don't do anything about that situation until you've attempted to work out your marriage. If things work out between you and your husband, those feelings about your boss (which may be more because you feel lonely than anything else) will fade away. If it gets "too hot", then by all means try to find other employment.
Good luck.
2006-09-04 00:40:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would try a trial separation first and see what happens. If he is not having any kind of intimate relationship with you then he has someone else any way. I would get a new place -just you and the kids .Get your new life under way and then think about dating. I do not suggest you date your boss-that is never a good idea. Oh yeah, and make him pay child support!!
2006-09-04 07:53:40 · answer #7 · answered by gee-geeofmo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will tell you this you are not giving a good example to your children staying witha man that does not communicate nor support his family
what is you reason for still be in this relationship
it is certainly not for the sake of your children but for your sake
Don't be scare take your children by the hand and ask God to show you the way
As for you boss carefull there,
Since you have not been with anyone for so long
be very carefull, always drive your car on a first date and don't let man stay over for the night
2006-09-04 00:44:43 · answer #8 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a child of divorce, all grown up now. DO NOT STAY for the kids sake. You can do better alone or even find someone who will make your life seem whole. Sometimes you don't know whats out there waiting for you, if you just settle for the sad life you got dealt the first time around. Pick up your kids and last paycheck and go stay with family, start all over again, this time just count on YOU and what makes YOU,HAPPY.
2006-09-04 00:42:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is over, it is over. Staying with him "for the kids" just gives them the impression that marriage is supposed to be the way the two of you portray it. I do NOT advise you go after your boss, however. You are feeling rejected and are clinging to the closest male that is interested in you. It may cause you to lose your job. I think before you separate, you should seek council from a lawyer, they cost nothing. I am curious how else he does not support the family financially?
Speak to a lawyer, leave the guy (if you think and believe there is no other solution like marriage counseling) and enjoy being YOU for yourself and your kids before jumping into another man's bed.
just my advice.
2006-09-04 00:41:14 · answer #10 · answered by jobie023 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋