what makes some people endure a subordinate position in a friendship, yet others have to be treated with equal respect or its no deal?
2006-09-03 23:28:25 · 13 answers · asked by catweazle 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
A friendship can be unequal but by it's definition cannot be one-sided.
That said, what appears to be unequal usually is actually equal.
People maintain relationships - friendships, marriages, business ties - because there is some kind of payoff for both parties otherwise the relationship would end. The payoff may be readily apparent as in a business relationship, but what is the payoff when one person seems to reap all the benefits of a relationship but none of the rewards?
They may have a psychological need to be used or in the subordinate position which is their payoff in the relationship. Even if one particular relationship is ended, they will seek another where they can reenact the same scenario. This will happen over and over in the course of their life time unless something happens to make them break the cycle.
2006-09-03 23:42:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a coincidence I find this question just when I found out the little mole I car pool with is just using our friendship to save her petrol. She thinks I should drive twice a week and she drive once a week. I argued her down to me driving twice a week one week and her driving twice a week the next. But lo and behold, the day it is her turn to drive this week, I message her and she has organized to catch a ride with someone else so she doesn't have to drive. She is going to lose out now. I am never taking her again and it is gonna cost her more now. Little tramp
2006-09-04 06:51:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has to be give and take. If I can't talk to my friend and tell them my problems without a problem then they have to go. It's not because I don't care about them but I do so much for my friends that I expect for them to be there when I do need them, which is rare. If they can't do a simple thing such as listen and give me advice without having a problem with me, then I tell them we can't be friends. I lost a friend recently because of this but there's nothing I can do. So for me it's equal respect or hit the road. If I help you, you help me.
2006-09-04 06:38:25 · answer #3 · answered by cdl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes one doesn't realise they are in a one sided friendship until they are out of the friendship and looking back....
2006-09-04 06:31:50 · answer #4 · answered by SunnyDays 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you've been friends for a very long time, I suppose you end up with a sense of obligation and responsibility. It's hard to end a long friendship, so I suppose you just go along with it.
2006-09-04 06:34:55 · answer #5 · answered by Wafflebox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people have friends like that because they think its better then being alone.
I'm perfectly happy alone, and wouldn't put up with a one sided friendship.
2006-09-04 06:36:19 · answer #6 · answered by mburleigh8 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No friendship without free mind.
2006-09-04 06:31:51 · answer #7 · answered by thinkpose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its up to everyone how they are treated if you allow a friend to treat you badly they will keep doing it. If you tell them about it and they take offence they arent a true friend anyway.
2006-09-04 08:38:13 · answer #8 · answered by jean m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If its one sided its not a friendship ..
2006-09-04 06:44:46 · answer #9 · answered by enzuigiriuk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because they are desperate to have anything they can get, just like in a relationship (between man and woman ).
They often have inferiority issues.
2006-09-04 06:39:44 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋